Saturday, October 29, 2011

One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days when every thing goes right until things just start collapsing at your feet?

Yesterday was one of those days for me! I started my morning off early, well I didn't sleep as I was overly busy and had excess energy (first mistake as I am a known crab if I don't get my 8 hours). I wrote a review for the book Ascension by Caris Roane at Bodice Rippers and was able to post our tribute to our Author of the Month as well as announcing our contest and give away of an autographed copy of Vampire in Atlantis by Alyssa Day . Believe me this had me totally and completely stoked! And then things just got BETTER! We heard back from Author Anne Bishop about doing an interview for our site! And we were in talks with people at Christine Feehan's for the same! All this before 9am!

Then the trouble started! I went onto a website and read a conversation going on between some of my friends. Now this particular group of ladies is known for giving their opinions.. in an accurate manner no holds barred! If they like the book, they like the book and if they don't... well they tell you why. This is not always a good place for me because I become so very passionate about my books that I feel personally insulted.. Hello? I didn't write the book. Why should it bother me? Who knows? But it does... One of my friends, probably the nicest of all of us, made a comment and I exploded.. (See yesterday's rant).The problem with reading words on a website is the fact that well.... you read what YOU think they meant... no tone of voice to tell you what they meant. Now put that together with no sleep by an admitted sleepless witch.. and you get just nasty.

I immediately reacted.. responded with a pithy comeback.. now had my partners in crime over at Bodice Rippers been online I would have gone to them and they would have told me the same thing I tell them when they get upset.. Let it go.. take a breath.. write a letter to yourself.. don't react!! They weren't they were both off living their lives.. the rats... I realized within moments of posting it that I was wrong.. I went back and immediately deleted the post.. Which would have been ok, EXCEPT.. on this site when you make a comment all the people on the post get a notification... yeah that's right.. a notification. My snarly, snarky remark hurt someone's feelings.. She responded on my wall.. I got angrier.. I mean I took it down.. let it go right? Well I should have listened to my own advice.. I came here and posted my rant.. She saw it.. yeah that's right.. I am/was good enough friends with her that I had shared this blog with her. BUT WAIT.. it gets better.. Next I made a snarky remark on twitter.. oh yeah AND on facebook.. She saw the twitter.. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she didn't see the FB.. Of course if she reads this she will now!!

Was I right? NO!!.. For several reasons..

  1. I have no idea what her tone was and her comments may not have been and knowing her probably weren't meant as in insult.
  2. I know myself well enough to know that when I am tired I tend to over react. Grow up
  3. Not everyone is going to like Bodice Rippers get over yourself
  4. As a professional.. well that just wasn't
  5. I lost a friend... over my stupidity...
Now with that being said... plenty of people have said some pretty nasty things to me and I let them.. I don't take them to task... I don't even make them apologize..From a friend I could have used that same treatment. I also know that plenty of times people have read things into my words that I never ever meant or sometimes even thought of.. I still apologize for hurting their feelings.

Of course as a Christian, someone who tries to live a Christ like life.. I should have just offered my hurt up to God, maybe taken my friend aside, sent her a PRIVATE email and let her know that the comment hurt my feeling.. You know acted like an ADULT!! Not a freakin two year old!!

So I am sorry.. I am sorry that I responded angrily, I am sorry that once I knew that my response hurt that I took it further.. and I am most sorry that I lost a friend..


    1. But I'm right here....don't you see me???? :D Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Life would suck without you, Shauni.

    2. Uh oh. Sounds like you went too far. And then you went a bit further. And then, further still.

      I guess you can only apologize, sincerely, and then look into how you react to things. If your friendship was the cost of you learning to better yourself, then so be it. We've all got a few of those in our lives--nobody is perfect.

      The thing is to CHANGE yourself and not repeat this. Your future friendships (if this one is truly lost) will thank you.

      You may just be lucky enough to get your friend back. I hope so.

      A little hand-written note of apology wouldn't hurt either.

      Hugs, pally. Don't beat yourself up--you are human after all.

    3. Thanks Lin, the scary part about it is your response about me taking a bit too far then farther still, then farther still seems like even then a bit of an understatement. Grown ups behave better. Seriously, if one of my kids did this I would be talking to them about over reacting and what the repercussions of their actions could be. Fortunately, as you can see by the comment above yours, I got off easy..

      Carmen, You are the best! I have always said so... *grins* I don't care what anyone else says... had to say it, you know I am kidding. Everyone that I know that knows you thinks you are downright adorkable!!