Friday, June 26, 2009

Rest in Peace Michael J, Farrah

The words keep circling my brain

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - oo)

I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah (The Jackson Five)

I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...
Love him or hate him we lost a brilliant gifted troubled soul yesterday. Michael Jackson was a musical gift to us, a genius that like most was misunderstood, warped and lost. But he gave us such amazing work above and beyond what we could ever expect.. His beautiful instrument was something that has marked and chronicled my life and somehow knowing it is lost to us forever is just too sad.

Yes his adult life has been fraught with controversy and we will always suspect and probably believe him guilty of the vilest of acts but that can never take away from the gift of his music. It was the kind of talent that transcended life.. He can be placed in the annals of music with Beethoven, Mozart, Joplin and Elvis.. Music that should and could last forever. For those of us of a certain age we grew up together... Michael voiced our fears, our joys as children he spoke of our innocence as teenagers our defiance and as adults well just our lives.. so yes rest in peace Michael J.. your gift shall be missed.

And Farrah, sweet Farrah, you reminded us that women can be beautiful, creative and Free. That they need not march to the drums that society played. In an era that created Women's Lib you flaunted your sensuality... you said hey I am as much a woman as the rest of you I just choose to live life my way. I don't think there is a single man I know, my age that didn't have that poster in hanging on their wall.. and oh that hair.. every girl i know wanted it! Thank you Farrah for being you, free spirit, loving, gracious, beautiful... your dignity in death has superseeded your grace in living. Rest in Peace Farrah you shall be missed...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

If I Could Blog Back Thursdays - #5 First Pet

So I have been following Lola over at Lola's Diner and I decided to play along.. If you want to join in on the fun make sure and go see Lola's Diner and sign up..

Todays Topic: First Pet

I never had a pet growing up and my first pet like my husband was courtesy of his ex wife. When they split she got the car, the kid and the money... he got Peaches. Sometimes I still swear he got the better deal.

Peaches was this huge dog, she was part german short hair and part lab but at heart she was a lap dog. She loved to try and crawl into my lap, especially during thunderstorms. The big wuss if my lap was unavailable (which it was since she was huge) she would crawl under the desk and hide until the storms passed.

Peaches was what I would call a runner, not that she loved to run but rather she loved to roam. If we left her out too long she would leave the yard and go roaming the neighborhood only to show up at our door the next morning. She would always at some point in her travels go visit my Mother in Laws (she lived on the next block over). If we timed it right we could get her there and bring her home.

I am not sure how it happened but peaches was a racist dog.. It was so funny if you said the word Mexican she would literally start howling. Now I know it sounds bad but it was just too funny. It got to the point where we would point and say peaches look Mexicans, just to see her howl.

When I got pregnant with Hair Boy peaches became my biggest protector if any other dog came around me she would shove them off and stand over me. I was never a pet owner until I had peaches and I didn't realize how much I cared for her until she died because honestly I cried when we had to have her put to sleep. She was a loving caring creature and I was blessed to have had such an animal as my first pet.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Are We Asking too Much?

So another politician gone AWOL.. yes once again lost in the arms of the other woman. I have to wonder do we expect too much of our elected officials? I know this sounds silly because I loathe people who cheat.. but being a lousy spouse does not necessarily make you a bad politician.

When I think of the list of great leaders (crappy husbands) I have to seriously rethink our insistence on their family values... Even thinking along these lines bother me because I am so not attracted to unfaithful people. I get rather disgusted with them and their behavior, I mean they made a commitment.. but the fact remains they did not make that commitment to me. To me they said they would do their best, they would take on the responsibility of writing and approving our laws. That they would try and make my life a bit easier.. now of course they fail there too as most politicians are in it because of lust for power and greed...

I think we as Americans expect so much and yet we have an entire generation face it we have several starting with my own, that were raised to put themselves and their wants, needs, desires first. We expect others to behave well and yet don't expect the same of ourselves. This is the fabric that is creating our political leaders. If we have raised them to think that the only thing that matters is themselves how then can we demand that they put others first?

If we raised them to not have morals (and face it our society seriously lacks them) how can we then demand that they have them? We say we want our elected officials to believe in God then we demand that we remove the words God from any of our public buildings and traditions. We say we want a man/woman to put their family first then put them in a job where face it the family is not first and one will see little of their children and spouses..

Sorry all I really did have a point to this blog I guess I just needed to say what was on my mind. We can not expect our leaders to lead in any manner except the way that they were raised. That is a sad fact of life.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Does This Sound Right?

"Vick is the league’s highest profile felon. He just finished a 19-month federal prison stint and is currently on house arrest in Virginia. His crime was funding and operating a barbaric dog fighting organization. His case attracted massive media attention and well organized protests.
Stallworth is just beginning a month long stay in a Florida jail – he’ll be eligible for release in as few as 24 days – for DUI manslaughter, an incident that didn’t garner widespread coverage until he received such a light sentence." (By Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports)

Ok yes Michael Vick committed a pretty awful crime, he then lied about it committing perjury and pretty much treated us all as fools.. but folks his crime was against dogs and he got a 19 month sentence. Stallworth, killed a person while he was drunk and driving and he gets 30 days? That is it 30 days? He chose to get in that car and break the law, he chose to drink and drive.. We preach against it, we rail at our children but what are we saying.. 1. a human life is not as important as an animal one (which btw another football player has also committed vehicular manslaughter and played on) and 2. if you are rich enough, famous enough the rules don't apply.
I just don't get it? I don't understand why we put so very little value on human life.. why we are not all so very outraged at each and every senseless, needless death.. but no we just let it go.. then find ourselves in an uproar over something stupid.. a political affair, a questionable jockey, a crooked basketball player. What is wrong with us?
Oh well I am sure something will come along to distract us again from the value of human life.. I just wish it were not so.. for me, don't get me wrong I like dogs.. I have even owned some that were part of the family but I think human life is more precious.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Blog Back Thursdays - 4 Favorite Annual Events

So I have been following Lola over at Lola's Diner and I decided to play along.. If you want to join in on the fun make sure and go see Lola's Diner and sign up..

Today's Topic is Favorite Annual Events

I guess my absolute favorite family event from when I was a child was the family reunion. We would all get together on or around my great grandmother's birthday. All of my Grandma's kids, grandkids etc and all of my Aunt Margie's kids, grandkids etc would get together and spend one fun day together.

Everyone would bring a dish and each had something that they were known for, my mom's marshmellow salad, someone brought burritos (which were always good) and Uncle Johnny always brought the beer (He worked for Busch Beer or one of them wait maybe pabst? whatever)

I got to see all the relatives that lived within driving distance but we didnt see regularly which of course now we would think nothing of driving off to see them but back then they lived too far away. The best part was the chance to see my cousins Charlene and Irene, they were the only cousins in the entire family who were my age. It was hard being in the middle like I was.. with my close family I had my brother who was my age. My cousins were either way older (closer to my mom's age) or over 5 years younger and as a child that is a lifetime. So each year I would count the days until I got to see Charlene and Irene. The reunion was always held at the park we lovingly called Denace the Menace Park (I dont know why) and they had a public pool.

My parents rarely let us go to public pools, well we had one in our backyard as did well over half our friends so why go to a public one but for the reunion we were allowed. So for many hours Charlene, Irene and I would swim and cavort and just have fun. The magic of summer. To this day those two hold a very special place in my heart and I look forward to seeing them at any family event. Which I must say Charlene manages to attend way more than either Irene or myself.

It is funny how much of our lives are created by single days... one day each summer I spent with these two cousins, that is it. and yet they remain two of my most precious meomories..

Again Lola thank you for helping me to remember these moments

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I know I have Been Sporadic at Best

Have you ever stepped away from something you really enjoyed, then had a hard time going back to it? I have been blogging pretty regularly for over a year now, here on this page since October and in another format since January 08. I honestly enjoy it, I enjoy the people I meet, I enjoy expressing myself and I enjoy the feedback I get when I do so..

But lately, I have just been blah about it. Sad to say all of my blogs have been woefully neglected. Maybe it is the summer blues, maybe it is life, maybe it is just time to rest for a bit. I have no clue.

When I do sit down to blog it is like I have nothing to say. Now if you knew me at all you would realize the total impossibility of that ever happening. So for the foreseeable future I am going to just sit and ramble. No purpose, no issue, no subject maybe my head will clear and I can blog again.

It isn't as though my life isn't full of fun and fascinating facts..

Oh yeah.. I seriously hate Raquel Welch.. it is so not fair that she is that gorgeous at her age and I wasn't even close to that at 20..

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Fed Up with Mr Letterman

It is true I have never really enjoyed the humor of David Letterman, I found it well vulgar and stupid but that was my opinion and I understood many others disagreed.
My way of showing my dislike was to not watch his show, simple, concise and effective. I didn't have to listen to his dribble and he was allowed to continue on with it. This time his antics and improper behavior have taken him into the news. Mr Letterman needs to understand who is free game and who is not... and if he is going to make a topical joke he needs to get his facts straight.

Last week, he made an inappropriate slur against the daughter of Sarah Palin. Stating that she would be getting knocked up by ARod during the 7th inning stretch. Turns out the daughter in town w/Gov Palin was her 14 year old.. OOPS.. Then got offended when Gov. Palin said if that was the way he felt then maybe she should keep her daughter away from him.. Good old Dave said oh he thought it was the 18 year old not the 14 year old...

Hmmm so it is ok for a 62 year old man to accuse an 18 year old girl of spreading her legs for anyone (a girl who as far as we know has had sexual relationships with one person...the boy she thought she loved) A girl who has stepped up and taken responsibility for her actions and gone out to speak on the difficulties of teenage parenthood.. but even that point is moot.. she is an 18 year old girl.. Mr Letterman is a 62 year old man.. am I the only one who thinks his preoccupation with her sex life is just ewwwwwwww

And really, she has done nothing but be born into a family that Mr Letterman has decided is evil.. I mean doesnt he have a child conceived out of wedlock? Should that not mean that his ladyfriend is also a tramp? whore? slut? whatever term you use? one has to consider this.. Mr Letterman needs to understand boundaries, proper behavior and lines that should not be crossed. A politicians children are not fair game.. they are children.. of course it seems only the children of the Republican party are attacked and brought out a fodder..One has to wonder at the integrety of those who allow such behavior.. President Obama himself has said.. leave the children out of it. Mr Letterman I suggest you listen or accept the fact that you really are a pig and need to get off the air.

Ok rant over..

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Been Absent of Late

Sorry all I haven't meant to just disappear, I have just been away from the blogs.. I am not sure what happened but it seems life just took over for a few days. I meant to stop in, I meant to say hello, visit some blogs and leave my thoughts and comments and yet I just got busy.

I was a bit irked when I realized that thursday had passed and I missed Lola's blog back thursday blog.. I really enjoy writing that one and yes I realize I could do it now but that just seems to be cheating.

I guess I have been caught up in reading lately as several of my authors have books coming out. Most are part of a series so I have to read those first to catch up on what is happening so when the new book comes out I have a clue...

Goodness knows I haven't been child rearing as they are gone.. yes gone.. Blond Girl is off to CA, Word Girl has TWO jobs, Pita Boy has two positions with the same company and Hair Boy has a life (as well as a job)..

I am seriously gonna get out and do something if it ever stops raining...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A Theme Today Hair Boy is 21!!

In case you missed my blog over at Jugglingteens my oldest turns 21 today. I can't help it my theme for the day is happy birthday sweetie..

As I have dedicated 6 blogs to the boy I won't go into major details but I am going with the theme..

Happy Birthday... and no way no how am I old enough to be the parent to a 21 year old...

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Book, A Series to Check Out

I am an avid reader as a matter of fact reading has long been my drug of choice, my means of escape and most often the only way I will ever get to see some places. I read so much that until I started hogging the computer all the time with my blogs, my kids resented books.. now they would gladly see me escape to a good book..

Anyway last year I discovered this amazing author. Alyssa Day. She has written a series about Atlantis Rising, the people who live there and how they would interact with us today. Of course she has managed to combine vampires, shape shifters and romance into the mix. It is a creative concept a romance with a delightful twist. Atlantis Unleashed is the fourth book in the series so while I honestly recommend this book if you haven't read the first three.. I suggest you start at the beginning with Atlantis Rising..

Happy Reading All

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Average American Woman

Word Girl likes to watch America's Next Top Model... Now that Oxygen has it in marathon form on Sundays she will watch an entire season in one day. She laughs at the antics and doesn't take it too seriously but I find it rather annoying. Not the reality TV show concept because face it that is the American mentality these days. No it is the fact that they still say thin is in..

Face it folks the average American woman is a size 12 (and that size 12 is actually two sizes bigger than the size 12's of my youth). Since the average woman is a 12 wouldn't it be nice to see a similar size on the magazines? Do you realize in the world of modeling a plus size woman is a size 8 - 12? Plus size?? size 8?? now blond girl is a size 7/8 with nice hips, flat tummy and shapely legs.. I only wish on my best day I looked like this.. but she is a plus size.. What are we telling our girls?

My girls are fortunately aware of who and what they are as individuals but still it is hard to have a positive self esteem when society is slamming it down their throats that they are fat.. Wake up folks we have been destroying self esteems since the 60's and twiggy and personally I always thought she was ucky looking.. and I gave up on things when I read an article saying Mariyn Monroe was fat.. Hello, Marilyn Monroe?? FAT?? she was gorgeous.. maybe we need to be less size absorbed and more health absorbed. The more we tell healthy looking girls that they are fat the more likely they are to become so.. or at least have an eating disorder of some kind..

Stops for a second, looks around and calming steps off my soapbox.. sorry but this is what one could say is a pet peave of mine

Saturday, June 6, 2009

A New Dawn

So life has once again gotten interesting... these past two years have been dark, very dark a difficult place for me to be. Me the woman who honestly believes that there is always good, always a silver lining, the glass is always (just a bit over half full)...

I have been known to drive those who know me completely bonkers with what they call my inability to face reality. What they don't understand it isn't not facing reality it is refusing to let reality run my life.. I mean I know my life is difficult, I know I have been a single mother raising four kids on her own for 12 years now. I know life has been a series of bad choices and rotten luck for many of them. But I also know I have met some amazing and wonderful people along the way. I know I have faced my demons and walked away from them. I know that I would not have done so had my life been different. So I choose to rejoice!! I choose to be grateful for what I have no longer wallow in what I have not!

I firmly believe the true miracles in our lives come not from grand sweeping gestures from God (and yes I have had those) but in the fact that tomorrow the sun will still come up. That eventually I will have worked my way out of these troubles and found joy in my accomplishment. That I remembered to lift my burdens to God along the way, that I remembered that I am not in charge merely along for the ride and that I have been given an amazing gift of the life I have. If that makes me an idealist, one who lives in fantasyland.. then hello fantasyland!! cuz I am so not leaving..

Friday, June 5, 2009

A Week of Interesting Days

Last week I know I told you all about how I barely made my payment in time and saved all my stuff. Ends up I didn't, the storage company took my money AND sold my stuff at the same time. It seems they happened at pretty much the same time. I was devestated but dealt with it as I could.

The next day a gentleman called me and let me know if I wanted my personal stuff I was welcome to it.. just come clear it out.. If I could come up with 800.00 then I could have it all back. Remember I had just forked over 400.00 which I hadn't gotten back yet. Needless to say, I couldn't get the money and I made arrangements to come get my stuff. For one reason or another we kept missing each other.. I began calling the poor guy every half an hour or so. Finally I said I would stop pestering him just call me when he was ready and I would be there. Sunday passes, I called on Monday left a message.. Tuesday passes, Wednesday passes.. Thursday I finally gave up hope. I told the kids what was going on and we all had a good cry.

This morning, I got a call.. meet me at storage.. The amazing thing is I got to keep most of my stuff. Oh there are a few things I am going to need to negotiate for and some I wont be able to get back at all.. but in general.. He left most of the furniture, the Christmas stuff, the pictures, the framed kids artwork, a few handmade items.. He kept the computer (an old Dell), the stereos (one is 11 years old the other 5) and the tv's... any electronic stuff and the baseball cards (ouch). But in the end I came out on top..Well on top would have been keeping it all..

After going through it all, I realized I had a lot of crap... this was not a bad thing after all..

Thursday, June 4, 2009

A Prayer for A Friend

Life is ever circling around us, a door slams shut another cracks open.. Friends you loved you walk away from and ones you thought were gone return. Petty arguments separate and self righteous judgments keep you apart.

I have done my share of ending relationships both good and bad.. the endings and the relationships. I have had them ended because of my attitude or self righteousness as much as I have been the ender.. life pretty much balances itself out.

Recently, I have been embraced by a dear and wonderful friend, when she was wounded by her own actions I judged and yet when I was wounded by mine, she stood true.. hmmm one of us is a darned good person. Anyway, this morning I received an early call, her son was in a serious car accident. 14 hours later she is still not sure of what will happen long term. By the grace of God he is alive.. No neck or spinal injuries and they think no brain issues.. We can fall to our knees and thank God for this but I know with my mother's heart she is quivering in hers.

I ask that each of you spend a few moments of your time offering up prayers to your maker.. asking for peace and guidance and the strength to accept His will... She needs all of this. and while down on your knees maybe you could say a small thank you for those that are in your life, safe and happy and running amuck..

If I Could Blog Back Time Thursdays - Music Show


So I have been following Lola over at Lola's Diner and I decided to play along.. If you want to join in on the fun make sure and go see Lola's Diner and sign up..

Today's Topic is Music Shows.. I must admit this is an interesting one for me.. we weren't allowed to watch a lot of TV when I was a kid (oh we managed to sneak it in but....) Music shows well let's see I guess I would watch the Smothers Brothers... and Laugh In and the Carol Brunet show and as I became a teenager I watched Saturday Night Live. I know most are more variety shows but that is what we watched and loved.. I know I loved the Smother's Brothers. And in a tip of to Lin (cuz we are almost the same age..) I too watched the Partridge Family.. grins who could resist David Cassidy? And then there was Donny and Marie.. I admit it I watched it.

Most of our music TV watching was done at the Grammys or what not.. and like I said the occasional Variety Show..

Lola this one was a hard one.. music played a major part in my life but I didnt really watch it on tv...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Did You Ever??

Did you ever express yourself for the sheer joy of sharing who and what you are and find out later that your words hurt someone else? Did you ever wonder why it is that no matter what you say it is the wrong thing? Did you ever try to live your own life and not make it about others and then find out that you are making it all about you?

Recently I have had some pretty crappy times, I have leaned on people and frankly I hate it. Because I hate taking from people I am not gracious with it yet with the way things have been going about in my life for the past year I have needed all the charity I can get.

The things is charity is an interesting thing, people expect something back from it. If you are lucky all they expect is for you to pick yourself up and pay it forward. The thing is picking yourself back up is hard sometimes seemingly impossible. Especially when you are being monitored and watched for mistakes.When your very words of growth are used as an attack on those who have loved you in the past.

I have been given a lot lately, by people who genuinely cared I accepted it in the vein it was offered but now I wonder should I have not.. should I have just accepted the consequences of my choices and moved on? and then I decided, I am so imperfect.. I am such a flawed and broken vessel... who am I to decide what I am worthy or unworthy of?

So today I am reminding myself of a simple and basic truth, choosing to live by it.. bring it close to my heart and truly listen to the words.. and sometimes it means remembering to love yourself..

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Monday, June 1, 2009

Piggy Poop and the Environment

I was reading the news yesterday and I cam across the most interesting article. It seems some farmers in Europe have found a way to well recycle piggie poop, they eliminate the methane gas that damages the environment, run their farms and send energy back along the grid. It seems the piggies actually poop in a certain place which sends it down a chute (yes piggies can be semi domesticated and for lack of better term house trained) Come on admit it you are laughing..

The thing is everyone was wondering if this would eventually just be another way for rich countries to buy carbon credits and say they are more energy efficient. and of course this alone will help but not fix the problem.. and that makes me think, yes it will not fix the problem but it will help it and if everyone does one thing to help the situation think how much farther along we would be.

For my part I have to think.. Remember when Al Gore said we have less than a decade to reverse the problem? I know many think he is being hysterical and over dramatic and that he is wrong but my question is... What if he is right? For that reason alone everyone should do what they can..