Friday, July 19, 2013
I know I haven't written tons about my weight loss plan.. I haven't written much at all but I have not given up! I don't have a scale so am not weighing myself daily (this is a good thing) but I am thinking I need to find a scale soon!!
My body is slowly coming to order..
First off, the other day I needed to borrow a pair of my daughter's gym shoes and found a really nice pair (for the record not the ones she suggested but no way did these fit her, as they are tight on me and I have smaller feet). My problem with gym shoes is well, shoelaces.. aside from my lifelong refusal to tie my shoes more than once a day (if I tie them once they should stay tied) I haven't been able to actually reach my shoelaces in a very long time. I seriously was loving the whole slip on thing.. but I put these shoes on (and they were a bit snug) but was able to bend over and tie them right up.. YAY..
Next.. a couple of days later I put on one of my favorite tops. This top is a fitted T.. it was never tight but it definitely hugged my ample curves.. but it was hanging on me.. yep that's right hanging.. it didn't hug anything but my chest (note the word ample was not used - even fat I know all the flat jokes). I thought maybe the top is just stretched out.. maybe it's just that old.. so the next day I put on a nice fitted cotton blouse, with buttons. Now this top had started to hit the gap stage.. you know when the buttons gap instead of laying smooth.. BUT it was hanging on me too!!
OH MY GOSH.. it's working!! I don't think I have reached my first goal yet (and yes I have my eventual goal and a series of attainable goals to help me get there) but I am seriously on my way..
The thing about weight loss is it is addicting.. now that I know I am loosing weight.. I am working harder to do so. Walking further (yes in the sweltering heat).. watching my diet even better and totally getting into it!
Just wanted to share!!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Monday was my Uncle Johnny's Birthday.. I didn't get a chance to write this blog until now but I really wanted to share my feelings about him.
I come from a definite matriarchal family, the amount of men who marry into our family and stay is very very small. Now the men seem to have a bit better luck. I think part of our problem is we are strong women.. and I mean strong. Women who have never needed a man to "take" care of them, just to care for them. Sadly, in generations past men didn't get that. But Uncle Johnny Did..
Honestly in my entire life there have been a very few men who have been around for the duration. Some because well we grow up and move on but others because they didn't want to stay. But Uncle Johnny has been a mainstay in our family for generations.. That's right.. generations! He married my Aunt Margie as a very young man, 25 I think and true to the daring ground breaking women that I come from, he was ten years her junior. But he loved her kids.. and together they had three more.
This man has always been a source of laughter, joy and security for me. I know if I ever needed him he was right there, in the same home, in the same town.. of course that doesn't mean he always stays put.. nope the man is always on the move. Visiting navy buddies, family, friends.. on the go!
One thing Uncle Johnny is famous for are his stories.. he has a lifetime of them! Of course as children we didn't always appreciate them but as an adult, I seriously hope someone has written them down! My favorite was always the peanut butter cookies and the sharks one. Now I am paraphrasing and may get a lot of it wrong but..
Uncle Johnny was a Navy cook, on a ship (not sure what type) but for some reason one time they got cans and cans and cans of peanut butter (huge coffee cans). Not sure what to do with it and not having anywhere near enough recipes for peanut butter, the cooks made peanut butter cookies. (I am sure the men just got sick of those cookies). One day Uncle Johnny said the boat just started to rock, no one could figure out what it was.. Are you ready for this? The men decided to feed the fish the cookies. I guess it was a complete treat because it not only attracted fish but sharks.. and those sharks were hungry.. Before anyone even knew what was going along the sharks started hitting the boat (Naval Vessel NOT canoe) and the entire ship just started rocking..
Now I can't seem to remember the end of that story or how they extradited themselves but these are the gems that Uncle Johnny shared with us over a lifetime.
Uncle Johnny was the first of our family to get email, he had his AOL account as soon as humanly possible and would correspond with family and friends all over the world. No way was technology leaving this man behind.
I mentioned my Aunt Margie, and they had a storybook love.. the kind you read about. They were always together even when Aunt Margie got so ill she had to live in a home. Uncle Johnny went daily to have meals with her.. Just to be with is Margaret.
The most amazing thing about this wonderful man is is capacity to love. The man has five children and seventeen grandchildren (No clue how many greats are in there) and yet every Christmas and birthday my kids would get a card with two fives in it.. Saying Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday love Aunt Margaret and Uncle Johnny.. This tradition went on through their teens, yes even after Aunt Margie left us.. Uncle Johnny never forgot..
Honestly, I am not used to men who stay.. it's just such a wonderful gift that I was given this man to be a part of my life. To be loved by and to love! I admire him more as an adult then I was ever able to as a child.. To me he represents what love, true enduring love is..
So while I missed writing this on his birthday.. I still wish him a Happy Birthmonth!! Hope you celebrate every day of it!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Last Friday I celebrated my 51st birthday.. It was a quiet day but held a lot of meaning for me. Ever since I had children the plan was for me to be finished raising them by the time I was 50. Originally it meant that my husband and I would be empty nesters and would be able to enjoy our golden years... But 10 years into marriage that sort of tanked.
There I was with four children ages 9,7,5 and 3... at the very beginning of an amazing journey. Over the years there has been homelessness, poverty, unemployment and evictions. The one and only thing I managed to do for my children was raise them in the same town they were born in. A small town nesteled in the suburbs of Chicago. A Place where the head librarian knew if you needed help with your homework. Where if your children were up to no good across town, you knew about it before they got home. A place that celebrated it's children with a decent school system, a good park district, an excellent library and a community minded Village Hall. All of this and still just a short 20 minutes away from downtown Chicago. What a great place.. But it was never my place.. I existed there.. for my kids.
My youngest left for the Univ of Wyoming last Fall and yes she came home for Christmas but isn't coming home for summer break.. My second youngest left for Western IL Univ almost three years ago and has never really come home.. My boys.. well the oldest is 25 and on his own path.. Finding his way and living his dreams.. My second son, he has finally found a path he wants to follow.. oh sure he may change his mind but he is headed out.
What does this mean to me? Well it means finally I can fly.. it's my turn to soar... Oh sure I haven't planned it, I didn't save for it (since I spent every last penny I had and then some on the kids) but now I am going. Will I be judged? Heck yeah, it's already begun.. Even my kids are shaking their heads and judging how I am going about. "That's not the way it's done" "You have to do it this way?" How is it that I managed to raise FOUR kids three of which are in college ON. MY. OWN... and yet everyone thinks I am useless? Incapable of standing on my own two feet?
Part of it is my fault.. the last five years have been really hard on me.. I lost my inner way.. I sunk into depression and had to fight really really hard to get out. And yes I lived way too much in my head (I personally like the world that goes on in my head but it doesn't pay the bills). But honestly people.. I did it your way for years.. what did it get me personally? Five years of depression!! Now I have to do it my way! It's going to be hard.. It's going to be a struggle but you know what? I have been struggling for years for everyone else. Now I get to struggle for me!
What do I want out of it? It's simple really.. I want forever! I want the magic of a midnight moon and the wonder of a mountain meadow. I want joy and laughter and friendship.. oh how I want friendship.. I don't want to be alone anymore. While living in my head is fun it is lonely..
So my friends the adventure begins!!