Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A New Life by Sophia

As many of you are aware, I have several other blogs.. *grins* you can see the list in the side column. Sophia is one of my reviewers, Sophia is a creative 10 year old who loves to read, fancies cats, Edward Cullen, and is a fan of anime! And a joy to work with. Her effervescent comes through with every review. Recently  she wrote this wonderful tribute to her grandfather. He left us three years ago today and I know his family's hearts are still grieving. Even so, Sophie's tribute celebrates their relationship. Carmen, her mother, sent it to me and I just wanted to share.

A New Life

I had to help him or he would fall.  My grandpa had just gotten very sick.  He lived with my grandma, his wife.  He would be at the house alone while my grandma was at the store.  It was a risk because he could fall.

He eventually moved in with us because his health was unpredictable.  He wasn’t happy with moving.  It made him feel like he was a little kid who needed everyone to escort him everywhere.  Miguel, my grandpa’s name, began to get used to living with me.

Everything was perfect.  Then he got really sick.  He was sent to the hospital.  His lungs and heart were old.  It was scary.  The doctor said he didn’t have a lot of time.  Every time we left the hospital, I would try to tell him good night.

He was finally sent home!  It was hard for him to walk.  Sometimes, he would call my name and ask me to walk him to the kitchen.  I loved helping him.  He was safe, and I was glad.  I was never annoyed if he asked me to help him.  It was worth it.

One morning I awoke to the sound of sobbing.  My mother sat next to me.  “Sophia, he’s gone.”  I hugged her.  I looked inside his room.  He was pale.  He was in peace.

I remember him.  His kindness, his love for me, him.  I love him and I helped him by walking him around.  That is how I helped my grandpa.

If you are interested in seeing more of Sophie, you can check out her reviews HERE


Monday, January 28, 2013

The Reason the "Big" Teams Can't Win without their Stars

Yep, that's right a picture of Phil Jackson.. I personally blame Phil Jackson for ruining the game of basketball. When he created Michael Jordan (and yes I said created, after all had MJ gone to the Lakers or Celtics of that time he would have been another exceptional cog in the wheel NOT the sole superstar) he created a monster. No I am not speaking of MJ as being a monster.. but the concept. No longer was basketball about the team, it was about the star! 

Oh sure there have always been "stars" in basketball but before they were surrounded by a team not sycophants.. Consider this what was Magic Johnson famous for? His free throws? Nope, His shooting? Nope. His Rebounds? Nope. HIS PASSES.. the man could pass a ball like nobodies business. He was a site to behold. To be famous for your passes meant he had to what? That's right PASS the ball! That meant while he had a superior ego (and yes I did meet him once) he also understood the game. And his ego was matched by his talent and his concept of the game. 

Magic also had an amazing cast of athletes surrounding him, they weren't his back up or his posse.. they were his team! Each an integral member of said team. Check out this roster...

Byron ScottGuard6'4"200 lbs.Mar. 28, 1961Arizona State, 1983
Magic JohnsonGuard6'9"220 lbs.Aug. 14, 1959Michigan State, 1979
Ronnie LesterGuard6'2"175 lbs.Jan. 1, 1959Iowa, 1980
Michael CooperGuard/Forward6'7"170 lbs.Apr. 15, 1956New Mexico, 1978
A.C. GreenForward6'9"230 lbs.Oct. 4, 1963Oregon State, 1985
James WorthyForward6'9"225 lbs.Feb. 27, 1961North Carolina, 1982
Jerome HendersonForward6'11"230 lbs.Oct. 5, 1959New Mexico
Kurt RambisForward6'8"215 lbs.Feb. 25, 1958Santa Clara, 1980
Larry SpriggsForward6'7"215 lbs.Sept. 8, 1959Howard, 1981
Maurice LucasForward6'9"215 lbs.Feb. 18, 1952Marquette, 1974
Mike McGeeForward6'5"205 lbs.July 29, 1959Michigan, 1981
Mitch KupchakForward6'9"230 lbs.May 24, 1954North Carolina, 1976
Chuck NevittCenter7'5"250 lbs.June 13, 1959North Carolina State, 1982
Kareem Abdul-JabbarCenter7'2"267 lbs.Aug. 16, 1947UCLA, 1969
Petur GudmundssonCenter7'2"260 lbs.Oct. 30, 1958Washington, 1981

How many of those names do you recognize? Maybe almost 30 years later not many but for the Laker fans of the 80's, believe me we appreciated a lot of those players.. There was so much more to the Lakers than Kareem's skyhook and Magic's infectious smile. They played the game!!!

Ever wonder how it is that the current Chicago Bulls are winning WITHOUT Their star? Guess.. yep you got it they have created a team of players who work together, rely on each others strengths and understands their own weaknesses.. Again, sure there are egos.. shoot they play professional sports in the 12's but they actually play the game. 

When I watch these showboaters, these headline grabbers I think back to a kid who used to play little league with my son. Now my son was not the greatest baseball player.. he might very well have been the worst. BUT he loved being a part of the team.. This other young man was awesome, he could hit, he could throw, he could pitch, he could catch.. Yep that's right he could do it all. What he couldn't do was play on the team. One mother once said.. "I wish my son could play baseball like ______" my response was "why? He doesn't know how to play baseball.. he knows how to hit, catch, pitch and throw. But when he is playing shortstop he shouldn't be making the catch in right field.." needless to say that went over like a ton of bricks.. But my point is, you don't win team games for long without a team. 

Why do the Spurs consistently win? Well, they are a team.. right now the "famous" teams are lacking the concept.. They just aren't getting it. Learn to play the game..not just master the individual skills.. well they all could learn how to shoot a freethrow but that's for another time.


Monday, January 21, 2013

Internet Relationships

It's been all over the news.. the story swept the nation. Manti Te'o had a fake girlfriend. He says they had never met and was just as shocked as everyone else that she was not real. A lot of people find this hard to believe. They wonder how could he ever not know she didn't exist.

I think this is a generational thing.. The younger the adult is the more likely they would be to understand it. Today's adult spends a lot of time in social media, they have "friends" on facebook, twitter, pintrest, etc.. People they may have never met. And yet they most likely have had detailed and intense discussions with them. Yes, we warn our children.. we talk about predators but honestly, there are a lot of people on line and most of them are just that, people online. Nothing nefarious about them.. and connections, real connections are made.

It's easy to discuss your thoughts, dreams, hopes and feelings with these people.. to share yourself with a faceless person. Over time you begin to feel a real friendship from them. An intense emotional bonding.. It's easy to get lost in the unreality of that reality.. to almost forget that they are faceless beings on the other side of the internet.. faces that you have created.. you do not connect face to face. You chat..

I think older adults for the most part don't get this.. they are used to a different world and while many may have embraced the internet, they still believe that relationships need to be made and created face to face. And really they should at some point.. but who are we to say what point.

Sadly, Manti is going to be learning a harsh lesson.. first he suffered the humiliation of having a "girlfriend" who didn't really exist. Then everyone in the world found out about it and he has become the butt of all the latest jokes. And finally, his career is questionable.. There is a strong possibility that this charming young man will drop far in the draft and not be able to demand the salary that he might have initially been able to.

Why? Because he is 22 and yes naive.. He has shown that he has a good heart and is a loyal team mate. That he is a skilled athlete.. but right now no one wants to see that, they want to see the fraud, the deception.. and it doesn't help that we are all dealing with the lies that Lance Armstrong has been spewing for years..

So no one is going to give this young man the benefit of the doubt. They are going to judge him as only the self righteous can. Seriously, even if he did it.. the kids is what 22 years old? How many of us did stupid stuff at that age? At least we were allowed to be stupid in private..


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Dealing with Emotions

A long time ago I learned the truth about emotions. They are not right or wrong, they just ARE.. Feelings are real and they need to be dealt with by the feeler (feelee?) not by the hords of people who assume they know what they are or how to handle them. Yes there are professionals who have been educated and if used properly can help you, the feelee, deal with them. BUT they can not deal with them for you. And if they do their jobs properly they will not tell you how to deal with them.

The thing about emotions is that if you have them (or admit to having them) someone is going to tell you, you are wrong to have them. Having an emotion, even a negative one is not necessarily a bad thing. It's how you deal with them. If you by chance vent on your own personal blog about having an emotion and how it affects you and where you think it came from is not a bad thing. And accepting that there will be those who want to tell you to get over it, or ignore it or blame yourself is one of the realities of doing so. Sure you want everyone to say hey life is good, you are wonderful and of course you are right.. but that would be wrong.

See emotions just ARE.. you can not change the fact that you feel and sometimes feel deeply. You can of course try and ignore them, pretend that you don't feel. That is not the way to deal with them, that is the way to watch yourself eventually crash and burn. Suppressing emotion destroys and yet if asked most people would suggest just that. Suck it up, get over it, you are too emotional, it's really your fault and you are feeling guilty.. you smile too much, you must be faking it.. blah blah blah..

What one must learn to do is accept their feelings and emotions, allow that there will be times you have to express them in one way or another and consider the least hurtful way of doing so.. then consider yourself first.. Take into account what is the best way to deal with your emotion and don't let anyone or anything take that away from you.

Have courage.. face yourself squarely and deal with your emotions.. know that voicing them will attract detractors, that someone will feel the need to point out your faults.. and that's ok, they may just be right and then again they may not have a single clue of which you speak.. but need to voice their feelings.. and that's ok too. Because after all Feelings just ARE.. they are not right or wrong it's the way you deal with them that matters.

Standing in your own space and venting is not bad.. hurling accusations at someone with the intent of being hurtful is. Of course when you vent there will always be those who apply your feelings as accusations and need to take umbrage.. gather their troops and shoot their slings and arrows.. that is a price you will have to pay.

Don't be afraid to feel, don't let those who don't understand control your feelings. I spent a lifetime believing that there was something wrong with me because I felt, deeply. I was TOO emotional.. except that is the way God made me so it couldn't be bad.. I had to learn first how to deal with my emotions and feelings and second to accept that there were those who would always and I mean always try to control them. That is not my problem, that would be theirs. I can not control their feelings, that is not my job in life.. nor can they control mine unless I allow them to.

All that being said, I am who I am and I have learned that those who love me always will and those who don't never did. I also need to remind myself that I have absolutely no reason to judge anyone else's feelings. I am flawed, I am not perfect and yet most of the time I can look at myself in the mirror and the other times, well those I am still working on.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Rage is an Interesting Thing

A little less than a year ago I was stabbed most brilliantly in the back by a couple of people I had mistakenly considered friends. I am one of those people open to such behavior because, really I would never do such a thing to others. I tend to believe in people. That is who I am. I give of myself whole heartedly and assume that others do as well. While I am far from perfect I find I prefer my way of behaving than those who must by their very nature deceive.

After much angst on this betrayal, I tried my best to let it go and it seems I do for long periods of time. Sadly, that is where the rage comes in. I will see something that reminds me of their perfidy..and I get lost momentarily in my rage. I don't strike out, I don't yell, I don't even accuse.. I just feel the rage swirling inside and for a moment I honestly hate.

The circumstances that bring about such feelings usually comes from something that continues the betrayal. I know it would be healthier for me to let it go, to forget. Honestly, I find it easy to accept an apology, to forgive if the apology is made.. if forgiveness is sought. Sadly, those that betray usually don't see that they were in the wrong. They don't recognize the damage they did and they would stand firm in their belief that I at best deserved what I got, at worst....

I am constantly amazed when I see these self same people approving completely things they insisted were not valid when I did them. Things they insisted I not do.. it irks me no end when I see them taking my ideas, thoughts, beliefs and using them for their own purpose and glory. I find myself resenting them and then I get angry because they still have the power to hurt me. To bring me momentarily to my knees. It angers me that I can not take that power from them. I advise those I know to let it go, to not let such actions work and yet they do..

And yet, I am eventually able to stand up and walk away from the debilitating anger they caused me.. the insidious rage that slinks within and insists upon my time. I know I am stronger for it, I know with each attack I am able to let go a little more of the power that they have stolen. Someday such behavior will be rewarded.. both mine to finally let it go and theirs for well being them.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Another Reason Why I Really Dislike the Media

The college football season is winding down, one more game to play.. and yet the idiots that man the mike and manage the media have totally irked me.

Recently Northern Illinois University was a bowl buster.. they managed to get themselves into one of the four major bowl games.. they won that right according to the rules and yet were never treated with respect. It was declared right off the bat that Northern did not belong.. That another team should have gone in it's stead.. That Northern had a weak schedule and therefore their ranking was suspect.. I really really wanted them to win the Orange Bowl.. They didn't.. in fact they lost 31-10.. Although for the first three quarters they held their own! The media has had a hey day with this. They have slammed Northern right and left.. saying they don't belong in the bowl games.. they weren't worthy, blah blah blah

Kansas St and Oregon played just recently in the Fiesta Bowl. Both had claimed the number one spot at one time. As a matter of fact Kansas was considered the better team and Oregon didn't claim number one until Kansas fell. But when the game was on the line Oregon did their thing and trounced Kansas.. 31-18.. and yet the media didn't proclaim Kansas St as losers.. Nope haven't heard that yet..

Let's see Orange Bowl.. 21 pt difference
Fiesta Bowl... 18 pt difference
seems to me both games were a bit mismatched

And let's not even get into the Sugar Bowl where Univ of Florida lost to Louisville 33-23... Hmm no one said that Florida was a bunch of losers..

Oh yeah.. when NIU went in and during the entire game.. they kept commenting on how NIU isn't like Boise State or TCU since both of those teams were proven teams and belonged in the BCS series.. wait.. they didn't start out as proven teams.. Not too long ago they were Bowl Busters!!

I wish the sports announcers would stick to announcing the game.. not telling us how stupid er smart they are.

Ok Rant over for now1!