What is a Hero?

We hear about heros on the news all of the time. We hear about sports heros and movie star heros.. they call them role models and expect them to be above reproach. Well not exactly see if you an NFL player you can't kill a dog but you can commit vehicular manslaughter. NBA, well it is ok to choke the coach, but don't get caught not wearing a suit. Baseball, go ahead and strike but make sure when you do you take your ex-wife back to court so you don't have to pay child support. a figure skater.. well no baseball bats. and if you are a swimmer stay away from bongs.

Now we had what could be called a bonified hero in Senator McCain but there are those who think really he was a survivor not a hero and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.

The thing is we look to the wrong place for our heros, our role models.. Oprah is great but face it she has flaws just like anyone else. Look around you, do you see that father working two jobs so his wife can stay home and be with the kids... that is a hero. See the people who go to the P.A.D.S. (a homeless shelter program here in Illinois) churches week after week, year after year simple because it is the right thing to do, THAT is a role model. The young mom who runs accross the street to visit with an elderly neighbor that is a role model. And yes, the Fireman who risks his life day in and day out. The policeman who puts his life on the line for good.. that is a hero.

In today's society we dance gleefully in the streets when the good stumble, priests (DO NOT GET ME WRONG HERE) there are a handful of vile horrid priests out there and hundreds of thousands commited to serving their God.. which do we hear about? and don't worry I have an entire blog in mind for the horrid vile ones..

We hear about the policemen who are corrupt but forget the ones who go to work every day and do their jobs..

My point is we let the entertainment industry tell us who our heros are. We are so caught up in the glamour we refuse to see the corruptness beneath. As a parent, as a member of a community, as a member of society at large we need to teach our children what a real hero is. We need to say thank you to those who make a difference.. sports? they are fine but remember what they are, dunking a basketball, getting a homerun or making a touchdown does not a hero make.

just a though

I Just Can't Do It

It is amazing how no matter what the things that make you, you remain. No matter what steps you take, no matter how you disguise yourself your inner being comes through.

For example I started this blog partially as a means to document what was going on in my life. To share some of the day to day trials and tribulations. To put it out there oh maybe just to get it off my chest but also, maybe to help just one more person. But it seems I can't to dig that deep down and share my life is something I just can't do. I thought for a moment I was going to be able to. I have this other blog where I remain quite anonymous, none of my friends or family is aware of it and no one who I have met there knows me in real life. There it seems I can share my innermost thoughts and emotions I mean how many people are going to walk up to me on the street and say I recognize you from your blog?

Now since I have included my family and friends in this blog so I loose the anonymity, my choice, but I find I can't share a lot. This is not their fault, no it is because of me. See I was raised do not air your dirty laundry and honestly the stuff that happens in my life is just that.. oh not in some deviant form (at least then I could say I was having fun) no just day to day life.

I am going to attempt to change, going to attempt to share more. THAT after all is why I started writing this blog. If it starts to sound like I am whining please forgive me because I am not.. really, all things condsidered I have had a pretty good life..

Thursday Thirteen #1 - 13 Things I am Going to do Today

So it is Thursday and I decided to join the Thursday 13 crew, for more information on this one go check out this blog and maybe come along for the fun..


So 13 Things I am going to do today

1. Tell my children I love them, all four of them

2. Read a book, not sure which one since I have read all the ones I own

3. Talk to my friend Karen, not a day goes by when I don't get the joy of speaking with her

4. Look for a job, going to hope today is the day I find one.

5. Smile at a stranger

6. Laugh for the simple pleasure of laughing

7. Appreciate that there is no snow on the ground

8. Write

9. Do the dishes, yuck I know but real life sometimes Must interfere

10. Take a walk

11. Be there for a friend who may need me

12. Watch for robins

13. Just be happy that I am alive and healthy and that my kids are as well

So there you have it my very first Thursday 13

Shut Up and Listen to Grandma

Recently, I have heard all sorts of interesting philosophies on the economy, family, morals, ethics, hard work, etc... Some are of course way out there, sending me into peals of laughter but the ones that are considered the most amazing, the most ground breaking the most viable... are the same things I have heard my entire life.

Lessons learned at my grandma's knee...

hmmm let's see

1. pay yourself first. Now she wasn't talking 401K's or retirement they didn't have that then. No she meant take 10% of your income and put it into a savings account for a rainy day. Now I am horrible at this so I do make use of the 401K system to hold that 10%.. otherwise I would find a use for it.

2. give just a little bit more of yourself than you can afford. When it matters it will come back to you.

3. stand up for what you believe in, don't bow to peer pressure or trends.. they will move on with the winds of change only you remain the same..

4. quality of life is way better than quantity of life. Drive the same car for 10 or so years, live in the same house.. Yes it may seem to be too small but eventually it will be too big

5. keep learning, you are never too old to learn something new.. whether from a book or an education keep moving forward.

6. give back.. i know i said that earlier but it bears repeating.

7. live life like you were living (not like you were dying).. but always seek new adventures.

8. don't vote for the pretty one, vote for the one with the brains. research your candidates, find their histories.. what do they really believe in.

9. raise your children to understand that life is work. they don't get a free ride.. it is not your responsibility to put them through adulthood..

10. never say I can't... because as she would say.. You are an American and the last for letters of American spell I CAN... no kidding...

seriously, is there not a lesson in each of those statements.. have you not heard some of them formatted a bit differently but spouted by the new and "in" crowd? So all, maybe it is time to stop and listen to Grandma.. they it seems had a clue after all.

Every Now and Then

I know I have mentioned before I love sports. The concept, the action, the ideal. I love that in theory you play to win but honor the rules that it isn't all about winning but the game. Oh, I know with the onset of big business in our sports world that concept has been lost to some.

But occasionally that spirit shines through. I read this article a couple of days ago and it brought tears to my eyes. It made me proud oh so proud. With all the embarrassing behavior of the state of Illinois' leaders it made me especially proud. Our children have class..

Basically, in a cross state rivalry, there was a team from Wisconsin who had a stellar young athlete who lost his mom the day of the game. He of course wasn't on the roster but decided to show up to support his team. As a way to help stem the grief, the coach let him play. Now the rules say.. if you play someone not on the game's roster then the other team is given two technical free throws..

Here is where it gets interesting, the opposing Coach ARGUED with the officials tried his hardest to REFUSE the shots.. Finally after several minutes he conceded the free throws had to be taken those were the rules. So he looked to his players asked who was going to step up and do the job. In steps one of his seniors, a leader on the team. Proudly, walking to the Free Throw line, showing team spirit and integrity he promptly tanked the shots.. In an obvious show of good sportsmanship the ball barely left his hands. Just enough to appease the rule book. AND THE CROWD went wild!!! (did i mention the game was in Wisconsin).

I am so very proud of all of these players.. both of these teams. For remembering it is not about winning but about how you play the game.

A Generation of Errors

The other day my youngest and I were discussing the new president. She asked me if she thought he could fix things. A question indeed from someone who will have to endure the legacy of the mess we made of things.

My response to her was a bit more surprising than she thought, I am a conservative basically a Republican but I do vote for who I believe in rather than any specific party. What I have seen over the past almost 30 years of voting is not the Democrats being wrong, is not the Republicans of being wrong it was a generation of being wrong. Most of those leaders came from what we lovingly refer to as the baby boomers. A group that was parented by the "greatest" generation, they believed in saving for a rainy day, hard work and perseverance. The baby boomers believed in destroying the system and rebuilding it so they benefited now.

Yes, they did some good things, face it we wouldn't have a President Obama had they not stud up. And as a female athlete I certainly appreciate title IX shoot as a female at all I appreciate Roe vs. Wade whether I agree with abortion or not. BUT, they destroyed an awful lot. They made a group of women think they HAD to work, had to be supermom do it all, helping to destroy the American family. They instituted the greed is good theory, they destroyed the banking system and raised a group of children who believed they were entitled to it now. God forbid the hard work concept. Oh yeah and God forbid, well we aren't allowed to say God, unless we aren't Christian then your faith is acceptable (again, I believe in religious tolerance but that means tolerance for all). The generation who discovered global warming decried the very evilness of it then insisted on excessively large cars and "more". They found the problems and it seems exploited them instead of correcting them. Exposed them yes, so credit must be given but also they didn't fix them, one has to wonder if they even accepted the problems as real.

As my grandma used to say the pendulum swings, face it she was a teenager and young adult during the 20's she understood excess and wild living but she was also a young parent during the depression, she understood the need to work hard and barely survive day to day. That was the generation who birthed the "greatest generation". What have the baby boomers brought? 50 years of destruction. It is not a political thing it is a generational thing.

So when Obama was elected I was pleased, not because I thought He was better for the job or even agreed with him (I actually admire the job McCain has done as a Senator) but because it was time for the next generation to step up and take over. The generation between the baby boomers and the generation of entitlement. The one lost in the land of no label. Some would say we are one without direction but no, rather we are one who took our time coming into our own. One that needed to make our way free of the baby boomers. Can Obama fix things, probably not at least not entirely but slowly the pendulum is swinging and change is happening.

I Choose to Dance

When life pulls at me
dragging me away
making me wonder
making me afraid
I choose to dance

When the rain comes
when sorrow calls
when the burdens
are unending
I choose to dance

When my heart weeps
when my soul cries
when I wonder
if I am all alone
I choose to dance

To refresh the soul
to treasure the rain
to enrich the heart
to mock the burdens
I choose to dance

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. I personally found it at On the Verge a blog that has a wicked take on raising multiple children. Something I obviously have in common with both authors of the above mentioned blogs.

It is Monday again so here comes my not me's

1. I am not going to go insane because I have no personal computer.
2. I am not going to go insane because it is a school holiday and they are all home
3. I am not going to go insane because it is starting to get cold again and I am stuck inside.
4. I am not going to go insane because my child support check is at least a week late... AGAIN
5. I am not going to go insane because I haven't dropped any weight this week.

and the theme for today is insanity...

Stupid Puter

My computer is down again, this is the second time this has happened to me since I started doing the entrecards drop. While I do not think it is entrecard, I have to wonder if anyone else has had this problem? Obviously while my computer is down I will be unable to continue dropping. I may be able to sneak a few in but for those who I visit regularly I am sorry, I will catch up as soon as I can.

I am trying to figure out what I have done differently (than over the past years) and what are the few things that are new that I continued to do. There aren't that many new things so I have to lean to a very slight window as to what is causing it.

Hopefully I will be back up and running very very soon...

OK, I Admit it, I am Just Odd

I was having a conversation with a friend and she asked me to do something and I couldn't goodness knows what it was but it was one of those odd things about myself that I don't usually admit to. Now this is not a tag or anything I just got to thinking of some of the odd things I do... So I thought, what the heck, I may as well admit them here

1. I don't kill spiders - he may have a wife and child to go home to
2. I rotate the ice trays - so none of them feel left out
3. I can't hear without my glasses on
4. I can't sleep under a canopy bed - it might come down and suffocate me
5. I don't delete blogs or comments once written - it is against the rules (mine but so what)
6. I like to have long hair so I can put it up in a bun - then I have a place to put my pens and pencils
7. I hate laundry but when I am done, I color co ordinate my clothes, light to darks, short sleeves to long, etc
8. I refuse to tie my shoelaces more than once a day... I mean I did it once why should I have to keep doing it all day
9 I have problems telling my right from my left.. I have to look at my hands to find where the "L" shape appears as my palms face down.
10. I am forever talking about Labor day in the spring and Memorial day in the fall.. of course I also have problems with which is spring and which is fall.


and darnit I still can't remember the comment that got me started on this...

Privacy or Not

Recently I read an article in either Dear Abby or Ann Landers (yes I admit it I am addicted to these two) anyway the letter was about the fact that this woman who had a friend who was constantly posting pictures of her on the internet. She didn't want it, she didn't like it and she didn't know how to stop it. The answer unfortunately was if you can't get her to stop then duck when the camera comes out. I didn't like that answer, it was a realistic one, but I still didn't like it.

I honestly feel that there has to be some room for respect and privacy. As a blogger I feel like I can write about anything until someone requests otherwise. Maybe that is an assumption but one I do go on. For instance, I had written a couple of blogs about a family member but was asked to remove them as she didn't want her personal business out there. So I did, it was actually the first time I had ever deleted a blog for any reason. The thing is, I probably should have been more aware of the rights of others before I ever wrote the blog. I should have understood the basic concept of privacy and respect.

I am not sure why this letter hit such a nerve with me but I do think we all need to remember that while we love this thing called blogging, we don't have carte blanche with the people around us (husbands and kids aside). I don't mean to come of as lecturing I guess I am just voicing an inner thought and trying to correct my errors.

LIfe's Been A Bit Interesting

So my life has been rather interesting of late and then one could almost say it is just the norm.. my life is always interesting (yeah, if interesting means chaotic, crazed and out of control). But this week it has been good interesting.

My friend, my best of friends who was in the hospital with a heart attack FINALLY came home. Yes, after four long weeks he is home and recovering. It is difficult to imagine the anguish his attack has been on his loved ones but last night I heard his girl laugh. Really and truly laugh. These days we somehow think of heart attacks as almost blase.. that you go in get fixed and poof.. but no, they can take a long time to heal. The good news is, he will.

Another friend, the amazing Vonnie, has decided to follow me into the land of blogging. I have warned her, she is insane and will quickly succumb to blog withdrawals when not blogging but she valiantly ventured forth. As we all do she is going to be stumbling and fumbling to make her way into this wild world we cal blogging but please all, go on and give her a visit.. Now of course being a friend of mine overachieving being in the blood. She has not one, not two but THREE blogs.. but here they are.. Welcome Walmart Shoppers , The Fashionable Wench , My Crazy Life As I said she is insane but she has a great heart and could use the friends..

And finally rumor has it I am actually going to be receiving a check tomorrow.. So that would be last weeks,child support check if i happen to get this weeks as well I am so going glasses shopping. I completely broke mine and desperately need a new pair..

Oh well, have a fabulous day all

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. I personally found it at On the Verge a blog that has a wicked take on raising multiple children. Something I obviously have in common with both authors of the above mentioned blogs. So I decided to give this NOT ME MONDAY concept a try.


I am not upset that my daughter deleted the video of her sister singing at the school spaghetti and a song program - the only copy from both families
I do not let it bother me that I found 7 plates strewn about the place, all dirty, none in the kitchen
I am not upset that the trash bag is still by the front door although all four have left and had to walk by the trash room when as they left the building.
It does not bother me that pita boy never seems to leave.
I am not going to do laundry although there must be 25 loads waiting to be done.

Wow, that was fun but I am not going to have to find more exciting things to not do next week.

A Book, A Series To Consider

I am an avid reader, I often think I am actually an addictive reader. I must read, cereal boxes, newspapers, history books, laughs ok even science books, everything has interest to me. And once I start a book it is rare indeed that I can not finish it. It doesn't matter if I find the book good or bad, I must finish it.

Fortunately for me, Sherrilyn Kenyon hasn't written a book I don't like. Actually I adore her work. She is one of those amazing writers that has several series running at once but her most prolific and most amazing is her Hunter Series.

It is an amazing battle of good vs. evil, using greek mythology and vampire legends to make an astounding read. Her research is excellent and her stories don't just draw you in they make you want believe. More importantly they make you think. Not just a case of basic romance that can be scoffed at and pushed aside her work is read by all walks of life and both genders. She does have what I can only call a cult like following (I border on this myself) but her work is just that good one almost wants it to be true. Her work is fast paced, witty and compelling. As with all series stories there are of course some that seem tired and not as enthralling but it seems the books I just don't like others are raving about so it is ever a sense of taste.

Her latest in the series is Dream Chaser. The characters are pretty much divided into three groups of hunters, Dark Hunters (oh wow.. fans myself), Were Hunter (compelling and amazingly sexy) and Dream Hunters. Before this book I always considered the Dream Hunter part a bit of fluff, good reads but not relevant to the story arc, boy was I wrong. Ms Kenyon dragged the Dream Hunters right smack dab into the battle.

I decided against a traditional review because as good as this book is, I feel it is good because it carries on the story so well. As an individual read, I feel it may lack something BUT... I would strongly suggest that anyone take the time begin at the beginning and enjoy.

Happy Reading all

Way To Go Pat

Today Pat Summit the coach of Tennessee's Lady Vols basketball team reached a record 1000 wins. No other coach has done so, in fact the sainted (she says sarcastically) Bobby Knight has only done 902... She is partially responsible for the rise of women's basketball. She has years and years of great teams as well as a few clunkers..

In an era where women coaches are often replaced by men (hey there is money in it of course it should be a man's job) she has remained ontop. She is graceful in victory and defeat and from everything I have ever seen an amazing woman.

Congrats Pat.. You make me proud to be an athlete and better yet you make others remember what a woman can do.. ANYTHING...

Surviving The Crisis

Dealing with the fact that the State of Illinois Child Support System sucks is in and of itself a pain in the ass.. but because of my living situation I require them to be timely. Shoot, I need them to be on time, every time but this total and complete lateness.. this ability to just ignore the reality of the lives they are playing with is scary.

I am not sure where I stand or if I will get through this one but I am working on it. I am dealing with the bureaucracy and have been amazed by the generosity of friends.. if only to offer a shoulder to cry on.

I do know that 12 years or 11+ are too many for me to be continually on this rollercoaster. Even when I am working and have the ability to make ends meet without the support life is tough and the support helps. Face it, they are taking it from their father and NOT giving it to me.. so for the duration we are both out of the cash. They insist that this is the best way, the only way to protect me from a dead beat dad.. but honestly who is protecting me from the dead beat system?

And Still They Lag

So, it has been a week since the fiasco of no checks for me.. I finally got really angry and wrote my blog and sent it on to the powers that be. Miraculously enough the missing checks appeared. BUT... again they are late.. you know right now that is my main source of income and I am living in what could only be construed as horrid conditions, that money pays my week to week living.. So when they are late I run the risk of being homeless.. Of course they don't care. To them it is just a way to get their own paychecks. They have absolutely no concern for the individuals behind the checks.

As in so many government locations it is about herding people along, it is not about customer service or satisfaction. Their jobs are secure, their pay checks are coming so why should they bother with the time and concerns of others. The fact that I am wasting my time just writing this blog shows how little they care. I wanted to write about other things, but instead I need to document once again the ineptness of the Illinois Child Support System.

I offered them my expertise, hey I am out of work, I could use the job and I am very good at Customer Service, Order Entry and Training.. One would think they would jump at the chance to have me. It would give me a job, help with their obviously lacking program and probably shut me up.. and maybe hundreds of other voices would be silenced as well.

Let's see how long it takes for them to get me my check after I send them a copy of this blog.. last time the checks "miraculously" showed up within 48 hours of getting the letter (more like 24 business hours but I did send it late in the evening on Wed.. and the checks appeared at their location on Friday. So this time I am sending it early, maybe the check will appear as soon as today.

Michael Phelps

This story has been all over the headlines lately and all we hear about is how this may ruin his future earnings, how his image is tarnished how we expect so much of him. Give me a break, this young man has led a pretty darned exemplary life. He has spent a lifetime in training and choosing to do so, so when he was in his off time he made the same mistakes and poor choices that many many many individuals his age make. We forgive them why do we harp on Michael?

NBA, NFL and Major League Baseball players often are the epitome of slime, we have NBA fathers randomly impregnating women and not being accountable, we have NFL players who are convicted of vehicular manslaughter, think nothing of carrying guns and enciting violence an I won't even go into my opinion of baseball.. but each of these are looked at with a shrugg and an oh well. Note I did not mention the ridiculous violence and obvious steriod use? Even those we would still be shrugging off if the news had not decided that it was important. Must have been a slow news day. But the attack on Michael is just wrong..

When one lives in such a completely structured environment as a child it is very easy to follow the rules. To such an individual peer pressure is against the use of drugs, alcohol or any such thing (unless of course there are those who choose to performance enhance). They do not have to really make life decisions they are made for them. So when the time comes and they are faced with these choices, they are making them for the first time at a much later date.. me I said no to pot at the age of 11.. alcohol and cigarettes a few short years later. By the age of 14 I was on my path as a drug and alcohol fee individual. I think though it is harder to make these life choices as an adult than it is to make them as children.

As for the use of drugs going against his professional career and being pulled from the drug testing program. Well it didn't happen when he was competing or even training but during his off times. And face it he was smoking pot!! Not known for it's performance enhancing abilities.. Is it acceptable, probably not but it isn't the end of the world. This young man has done amazing things with his life so far and we just need to cut him some slack.. He too is gonna stumble at times.

And honestly, you all have seen his mother.. do you not think she is there ready to whack him upside the head? He is going to be just fine

Wow! 100 Posts

I am not quite sure how this happened.. or how it happened so fast. But this is my 100th post. I feel like I have accomplished a milestone, run the marathon (without the pain).

I always knew I had a lot to say and would love to have had someone to share it with before now. I appreciate those who stop by regularly. There have been so very many wonderful comments and fantabulous! When I started out I thought hey, this could be a great way to vent a little, do the Adsense thing and make a little cash. Along the way, I became a threat to the Adsense advertisers (still trying to figure that one out) and lost the income part. But I became adicted to the blog part.

Sometimes I wonder what I am going to say, and sometimes I feel like I am just getting started. The thought roll around my head bouncing off the walls of my brain and fighting to get out. Those days it is actually harder to write than when I have nothing at all. But I perservere..

Again all, thanks for the welcome and the support.. keep blogging, I adore reading your work.. and hope you all have been enjoying mine.

Rafa Wins

This picture says so very much.. It shows grace in victory and defeat.. to me it shows two men who understand both the incredible joy of victory and the complete and total agony of defeat and yet still understand and respect the skills of the other..

Rafa just impresses the heck out of me, he is a disingenuous young man who seems to be the epitome of talent, grace and respect. He exudes passion on the court and yet restrains from that temper tantrum name calling childish behavior of tennis greats from the past. As an athlete, as a parent heck as a person I thank him for that.

When Pete Sampras came along I would watch him for hours.. his cool elegance, his driven need, his complete dominance of the game for most of the 90's. He was truly a champion to watch. Of course he was mocked and ridiculed, called boring because he didnt throw fits.. he didnt argue with referees and he didnt break rackets, nope he slowly but surely eliminated his opponents with cool precision. He played his passion. Gradually he earned the respect he deserved and finally in retirement he is claimed to have been one of the best. His record of 14 slams should have lasted for decades..

Along comes Roger, his demeaner so similar to Pistol Pete.. His grace and style reminiscant of days gone by. His tennis astounding, just 10 short years later and he is poised to overtake Pete's record 14 slams. He has 13 now and is several years younger than Pete was when He took his. Of course for about 4 years there was no one in Rogers league. He ascended the throne and it seemed no one could stop him.

And then comes Rafa, not brash but passionette, poised and secure. Ready to work hard and slowly take on the greats.. It is a joy to watch this young man his parents must be so proud. Not just of his tennis, that after all is just a game. But of his grace, dignity and respect. He is a true example of what an athlete should be.

Actually they all are.. yes I am sure they have a certain arrogance, they are or in Petes Case was, the best in the world at what they do.. so on this day of sports indulgance here in the States.. I just wanted to say.. good job Rafa.. thanks for being the best and Roger your excellence shows through even more in your gracious defeat so I thank you as well.. I know soon that 15th slam will be yours and you will hold that record.

Super Sunday

I admit it, I am a total and complete sports nut.. and yes I will be watching the Super Bowl tonight... But I wanted to point out that although we as Americans think that football rules the world.. Today DownUnder two of the greatest tennis players ever and surely the top two in the world right now, will be battling for supremacy. It is sure to be a fantastic match and I will be watching what I can manage to stay awake for.. And since I know you are all wondering:
Serena Williams won the Womans Australian Open,
Venus and Serena Williams won the Ladies Doubles and
Bob and Mike Bryan won the Mens.. all of whom are Americans.
Who says tennis is dead in America? But I think, next we need a Venus and Mike doubles team and a Serena and Bob mixed doubles team.. then they could dominate even more.. and hey it could be fun (oh and they could switch off I mean Venus and Mike may not even like each other...).

Now onto the Football.. Whoo Hoo go Cardinals.. Oh come tell me you aren't secretly routing for this poor beleaguered team.. I don't care who the President is rooting for..