Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tired of Being Ugly
Somewhere along the line I stopped caring what I looked like. Now I am a reasonably attractive individaul. I am not super model beautiful but my face doesn't stop a clock either.. I have always dealt with the weight issues, some of the issues were manufactured and unreasonable, growing up in Southern California where a 21" waist was considered fat because I had hips. But a lot of my issues are accurate.
Now self image played a huge part, I thought I was fat so I became fat. And then there is the age old excuse it is my mother's fault who cares that I have been on my own for almost 30 years and I never had a major weight issue until after I did so. I can blame part of it on a bad marriage and depression but seriously what it comes down to is I stopped caring what I looked like. This week I pretty much decided that, that attitude just completely sucks.
Steps I am going to take to make changes, well for starters I am fat does that mean I have to be dumpy? No, so starting in the morning it is up to walk, then shower make up and hair. Not a major effort but one that makes an attitude adjustment. I have an extremely slow metabolism so the best way for me to loose weight is diet and exercise and yes the diet means eating.. not abstaining. So tomorrow after I walk, it will be a small breakfast to get the metabolism going..
I want to loose 130 lbs, but for next week I will be happy if I loose 5 (ok so i want to loose 20 but how realistic is that- I am going to be ecstatic with 5). Tomorrow I am going to take the before picture, I am going to post it here.. and you all get to loose the weight with me.
I figure the accountability will help but not just that if I take the steps to make a change in my life I will just feel better about me. Then I am gonna like me more, then I am just going to be a nicer person because I am happy and then my world will most probably settle back into it's proper orbit.
In the end it is not about loosing the weight which I wan to do but rather about taking charge and making a difference first in my life then we shall see where I go from there.