Thursday, May 21, 2009

To Whom it May Concern

So I am frustrated a bit with life and decided to post the following letter...

To Whom it May Concern,

I used to dream of visiting the Pyramids and the Great Wall of China, as I grew up I dreamt of white picket fences and playdates, lunch with the girls. Later I would dream of the great job, exciting and fun, creative, demanding and of course sexy. Nowadays I dream of having a roof over my head and food on the table.

I am not asking anyone to provide these things for me, no I would in all honesty prefer to provide them for my children and myself on my own. Of course it seems that of all the dreams I have had this one is the one most unlikely to occur. All I want is a job and an apartment.. a place to call our own and the means to provide it. Over the past two years I have sent out hundreds no thousands of resumes. Needless to say I am frustrated beyond all belief. I am an excellent customer service rep. I have skills that companies should be fighting over and yet here I sit unemployed and incredibly depressed.

Now If I can not find a job I would love to just receive the money that is mine. The money that should come from my child support. I would like to know that I will receive my money in a timely manner. That when they have it I will not hear.. "If you don't receive your check with in two weeks give us a call back". No I would like to hear.. yes we have your money, we received it yesterday and mailed it out immediately. Why is that a fantasy instead of a reality. It can not even be called a dream.

Personally I am tired of not quite making it and wondering if I will ever again feel free of this overwhelming sense of failure. Now I understand raising teenagers is expensive and stressful so I will never be completely stress free and will be broke for quite sometime but please.. a little help here.. a job? an apartment? a place I don't have to worry day to day about whether or not I will be here tonight. A place where we can have separate rooms, well at least two bedrooms I can sleep on the sofa. The simple knowledge that yes there is food in the cupboards.. maybe just peanut butter and jelly but that we have the bread to go with it..

I know my dreams are fantasy.. it would be easier to continue to dream of the Pyramids and the Great Wall of China... and these days more likely to come true...




now if I could just figure out who to send this to...


  1. Oh, Shauni--I'm sorry that things are tough and you're down. I'm sure there are days when you can deal with it and days that it is just plain overwhelming--I get that. Just keep trying--work temp if you can, perhaps volunteer somewhere and they might take you on--full or part time if you show them your skills. Jobs are scarce, I know--just network anywhere, even if that means working for free--get your foot in the door....any door.

    Keep you chin up--if you are upbeat and positive you will feel the sun on your face at some time. Okay, maybe not today, but keep looking up--it will turn around.

    Sorry for the tough times, pally. I'll send some prayers your way that you find something soon and that the apt. situation gets solved. Maybe even the child support too. Sending you love,'ll be okay.

  2. As I read your post, I remembered being in a very similar situation about 20 years ago. Being a single mom with 2 daughters, periods of unemployment and struggling day to day, for years. It was very tough, and I know how you feel! My advice is to stay strong, keep as positive as you can and never give up! There were many times that I could have thrown in the towel, but kept going for the sake of my kids. I am lucky that I finally met and married a wonderful man, who loves my daughters and I have a great life, and family now. Things will get better for you, it may take time, but do your best and keep smiling the best you can. Just do not give up!