Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Did You Ever Wonder?
Did you ever feel like no matter what you do it is wrong? Life is interesting that way.. we go through life making choices some good some bad and yet each important to our individual growth..
We find a place that is all we are ever searching for.. one that we think fulfills our deepest needs and yet once settled in it doesn't.. you look around at all of your friends and they are happy, ecstatic... you wonder why? It must mean you are missing something.. they must be leaving you out.. of course that is rarely the case.. what you are missing is you.. they are happy because they are where they belong.. you are not..
Then along comes someone and makes all of the exact same choices and he/she is blissfully happy... how can that be? The exact same choices were made.. almost as though you had followed the same instructions.. and seeing the glow, the peace in others you resent it.. like that person is stealing your happiness.. if you are lucky you don't resent the people involved just the situation.
And yet you lash out.. you fight, you struggle.. you hold on so tight you strangle those around you and still you just don't get it. Finally if you are very very lucky the light will go on.. it is not the choices it is the people.. you are making someone elses choices.. not yours.. the choices are right.. you are not.. the term square peg in a round hole exists for a reason..
Once you realize that you have much to consider and plenty to figure out.. first and foremost it is the path itself... is it yours? Are you meant to walk it with others? Or were you meant to blaze it on your own? Create your direction?? And know that others will find it and be happy after you not with you??
When you answer those questions you have to ask yourself where do you go when you reach the end of the path? do you stop and wait for others to catch up? Do you start a new path? Do you turn around and return from where you came?
Two of those answers involve leaving and knowing that others will be happy on your path.. the one you forged and created.. yet if you leave it is because it is the wrong path.. then you have to wonder can i be happy with that? Or will i be envious, angry and alone?
Finally one day you wake up and realize that you were not making your choices you were making someone else's therefore whether you stay or whether you go you will be envious, angry and alone unless you let it go..