It seems I see things differently than others.. See when I make a commitment I keep it. I follow through with my promises and even when it hurts and it does hurt I try and put others before myself.
Recently, I have seen this in action... I saw a circumstance where I created something and made sure I put other people ahead of me in the billing. Then when it came down to showcasing our talents, I let others take my favorites.. but when it came time to return the favor, nope it didn't happen. And yet I am the selfish one.. I am the one "in competition".. yeah feed that line...
I guess, I am angry, hurt, upset.. That dropping in the pit of my stomache curl up and cry feeling. I am tired of being the whipping boy.. tired of once again being used and betrayed. I am tired of accepting responsibility for my actions and never hearing others do the same. If someone walked up it would be hey it's obviously all Shauni's fault, you blame her, she says she was wrong.. you must be freakin perfect a total saint to put up with such a flawed person. Maybe I should just shun Shauni and fall at your feet... yeah.. that is what you would be lead to believe. I HATE that.. I hate that I feel remorse yet others don't. I HATE that I am able to believe in the innate goodness of people over and over and over again!! and yet.. if I didn't I would not be me..
That being said.. I will get grief for daring to voice my opinion.. but if I don't voice it.. I crack..