Do you ever see a train wreck coming and not know how to stop it? Do you ever come up with an awesome idea, bring people together for the idea then suddenly see yourself as odd man out? Yeah, story of my life..
Over the years of my life, I have had this tendency to want things soooo badly I ruin them. I would seriously love to blame just about everyone else in my life but realistically it has to be me. It is a total character flaw I have. I just want soooo badly that I screw things up with my intensity.
My latest endeavor my pride project just imploded.. not the project itself but the partnership that made it great.. I want to rant and rail and say hey they were mean to me.. sadly, it's not true.. I wanted too much was too intense and too controlling.. and once again I am odd man out..
I hurt.. badly... life will go on and things will get better or worse.. depending on how it is supposed to be I just wish I knew how to stop the train wrecks.. before they happen.. or shoot stop the actions which cause the darn things..
In a way this splinter of partners is a good thing.. I just wish it wouldn't have cost me friends.. and worse.. it seems not only did I loose my partner/friends but am the odd man out in the divorce and they got all the other friends..
I hurt.. deeply.. and again.. I am not blaming anyone but myself but I hurt..