Saturday, March 3, 2012

Can You See the Smoke?

A Couple of my other blogs have that newsletter via Twitter.. It's a really cool concept.. It takes tweets from your followers and people you follow on Twitter and generates a daily newsletter. One of them had this one article.. To say I am livid.. well that is not extreme enough.

In WI, there is this senator who is proposing a bill that will claim, single parenthood is a form of child abuse... WI Child Abuse Law

Let me set some background on my life for you.. I am NOT whining just setting a scene..

I married what I thought was a nice, family oriented man.. who happened to be a recovering alchoholic. yes he had been married twice previously but he had drinking issues at the time and was now sober..had been sober for five years.

What he was in reality was a dry drunk.. as soon as we were married he started having an occasional drink, by the time our second son was born he drank on a very regular basis, weekly working towards daily. I was married at 25 by 26 we had a home and a child, by 30 we had three kids and had lost our home. He made excellent money but was already drinking most of it away. When I was 30 I had gone home for a family wedding, my mom wanted me to just bring my oldest as he was in the wedding, I insisted on bringing all three of them.. I had planned on not returning to Illinois.. sadly, my time spent in CA with my family was so miserable I came back to my husband.. we had one more child, while she was a blessing she was not planned.

By this time I was 32 and living in hell.. I managed to make my marriage last 3 more years.. for a total of 10 years.. that's right 10 years of marriage and 4 kids from 9 - 3... He was verbally abusive.. constantly belittling me, ranting and raving if I purchased more than two gallons of milk a week.. That's right four children and only allowed to buy two gallons a week. He would go on for hours because I insisted on my children being involved in little league and scouts...

Finally, one day he almost took a swing at me.. He had his arm back but had enough of the man he should have been left to realize he couldn't hit me. But I saw it coming.. so I told him, we would be better of on public aid than with him in the house. He took me at my word, cleaned out the accounts, didn't pay any bills, took the car and left. There I was w/four kids starting school in three days w/no money, no food and soon found out no shelter.

Over the next couple of years we struggled but I gave up EVERYTHING so my kids would have a normal, balanced life. I didn't drink, smoke or do drugs.. (I never had). I didn't even date. I made sure my children were involved in scouts, dance, choir, band and even a competitive swim team.. I took them to their father's church (he was catholic, I am not) because that is how I had begun and I wanted them to have a stable life. Shoot, I stayed in a town where I was miserable because it was best for my kids... I worked jobs way beneath me and my experience because they were close by and I wanted to be able to get to my kids if they needed me. We moved a lot because I really couldn't afford our town and yes once we were homeless for 89 days.. But I was ALWAYS there and I gave them my entire life.

Now that they are all almost adults, I see amazing individuals that I will gladly claim as mine.. I will shout from the mountaintops that I DID THAT.. yes, I had a good support system but I gave up my life for them.. I don't regret a minute of it!! But then to find out that this idiot from WI says I abused them by not being married, I want to just spit!! How dare he say my children would be better off with a drunken sot..

His life has deteriorated to such a degree.. that he is just a few steps away from being what in the old days would be called the town drunk. He is a miserable, lonely bitter man.. who, has had several relationships since our split, some with lovely women, some not so lovely.. since he met all of them in bars.. This is what Senator Glenn Grothman wants for my children. My amazing, strong, gifted and talented children. To pressure me to stay in a miserable, abusive marriage or be termed a child abuser..

Don't get me wrong, I believe in marriage.. I feel so very deeply that I stayed as long as I could. Had he been even a little different I might have stayed married. Even if it wasn't perfect I would have done everything I could to make it work..  To the extent of destroying my self esteem.. but it was an environment that put me and my children in danger.. so I had to end it.

Sure this is in WI and it doesn't affect me.. but it does.. if this monstrosity becomes a law in WI, that means it gains legitimacy.. and other states are going to vote it in and that my friends scares the beejeebers out of me..

Sound off.. make yourself heard.. Support the people of WI.. do all you can to help keep this law from being voted in..

No comments:

Post a Comment