Thursday, April 18, 2013
Just A Note to Self
Had another stab today.. So I wanted to remind myself to let go.. and continue healing..
It's a great concept but really hard when the past slaps you in the rear.. when you miss what was and know that there is no way you can ever in any healthy way go back. And honestly, don't ever want to but still when you see links formed because of you and you are outside looking in.. it is hard...
I don't let go well.. I don't let go of my friends.. I hold them in my heart for a long time after they have moved on. It is a hard part of me and one that I have to accept. I have to accept this fact of my life because after 50plus years it isn't going to change...
As hard as it is for me to let go of friends it is equally hard for me to let go of grievances.. yeah, I hold a grudge.. usually against friends who hurt me.. don't worry I hold grudges against myself too.. either way it's not a healthy place to be. I don't see myself changing at this point but I am working on accepting this fact about myself and moving forward.
To that end.. I am going to force myself to let go.. I forgive you.. now maybe I won't get so upset everytime I stumble upon your name.