All This Good News, So Why Does Life Just Suck?

So this week Word Girl comes home and tells me to call the father of one of her friend's seems they may have a job for me.. pretty cool right? I mean I have been unemployed for two freakin years and it has been really really hard, on me physically and emotionally. On my kids everyone. There are times when the only reason I made it through was because I had no choice. So I called and while they are not quite sure what they are doing as of yet, the position looks good.

Then, yesterday I got a call from the manager of this place I am living. It was supposed to be temporary but with no job finding a better place has been hard... and this place is way too expensive believe me an apt would be way way cheaper. Anyway he called and of course I thought that is it, we are out.. but NO!! He called to say that they had reduced my rates BIG time.. and I can almost afford to live here...

I have my local State Rep working on getting my missing child support check out of the greedy clutches of the CS system and there is hope for that.. I should see a check for over 600.00 soon.

So all great news right??

Well today in less than an hour and a half.. storage is going to auction off all of my things.. my entire life.. and the kids.. poof gone.. I have begged, borrowed and considered stealing from all that I can do so from.. There really is no more hope and frankly this will be the thing that pushes me over the edge..

So if I am not here for a while it is because I just plain gave up...


an addendum.. so an amazing friend said quit your witchin.. and the bill was paid.. Do you ever think God gets tired of being doubted? My God is an Awesome God

To Whom it May Concern

So I am frustrated a bit with life and decided to post the following letter...

To Whom it May Concern,

I used to dream of visiting the Pyramids and the Great Wall of China, as I grew up I dreamt of white picket fences and playdates, lunch with the girls. Later I would dream of the great job, exciting and fun, creative, demanding and of course sexy. Nowadays I dream of having a roof over my head and food on the table.

I am not asking anyone to provide these things for me, no I would in all honesty prefer to provide them for my children and myself on my own. Of course it seems that of all the dreams I have had this one is the one most unlikely to occur. All I want is a job and an apartment.. a place to call our own and the means to provide it. Over the past two years I have sent out hundreds no thousands of resumes. Needless to say I am frustrated beyond all belief. I am an excellent customer service rep. I have skills that companies should be fighting over and yet here I sit unemployed and incredibly depressed.

Now If I can not find a job I would love to just receive the money that is mine. The money that should come from my child support. I would like to know that I will receive my money in a timely manner. That when they have it I will not hear.. "If you don't receive your check with in two weeks give us a call back". No I would like to hear.. yes we have your money, we received it yesterday and mailed it out immediately. Why is that a fantasy instead of a reality. It can not even be called a dream.

Personally I am tired of not quite making it and wondering if I will ever again feel free of this overwhelming sense of failure. Now I understand raising teenagers is expensive and stressful so I will never be completely stress free and will be broke for quite sometime but please.. a little help here.. a job? an apartment? a place I don't have to worry day to day about whether or not I will be here tonight. A place where we can have separate rooms, well at least two bedrooms I can sleep on the sofa. The simple knowledge that yes there is food in the cupboards.. maybe just peanut butter and jelly but that we have the bread to go with it..

I know my dreams are fantasy.. it would be easier to continue to dream of the Pyramids and the Great Wall of China... and these days more likely to come true...

Sincerely

Shauni

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now if I could just figure out who to send this to...

Hanging on to the Money

Oh the state of Illinois is throwing a bash to be sure.. How do they plan on funding this troubled state? Oh I know.. they find ways to with hold the money passed to them that is supposed to go to custodial parents.. yes that is correct child support strikes again!!

As I have previously admitted.. I failed to change my address in time and they sent out one check to the wrong address. I have been calling weekly to see if they had received it back yet.. Seems like they did on the 14th.. Now I am hearing that even though they have it.. I won't see it for up to 60 days.. cuz they have so many. Hello?? I corrected my address.. I contacted them, they have the check... send me a damned new one!!

Oh and they are undercharging the ex about $30 a week.. no biggee.. well I could use the money but if he doesnt send that money in he gets charged interest.. and honestly it accumulates and will become an issue.. anyway right now he is at $19 interest..

Sighs.. He is unemployed and trying to do the right thing.. the govt is not taking the entire amt from his check and he is gonna get screwed for not paying..

I really really hate that the govt is involved in my child support... I mean he would just pay me weekly.. oh he would moan and complain but he would pay me.. without all the crap...

I Can See the Future and It Isn't Pretty

So the ex lost his job in theory it is not the end of the world as the payments will be taken straight out of unemployment and sent to me. Wonderful thing theory.. As you all know I have been battling the child support system for over 12 years. This past year having been one of the worst. Unfortunately it was not the worst. The very worst year I received child support it was handled directly by the state of Illinois.. Now here is the sad part.. my money would be held for up to 8 weeks at a time. I lost not one but two apartments over this and it took years to rebuild my credit.

Why is that pertinent? Well because my checks will no longer go through the state disbursement unit which is bad enough.. oh no now because of the unemployment it will be going through the state once more.. this is the same facility that I struggled with, fought with and finally dealt with the governor's office to get out of. Now I am being told that they get me again.. I would hope since it is coming from one state facility to another it will be all electronically transferred and not too much stress..

What a pipe dream that... while they may transfer from dept to dept I am not sure but I have just discovered they do not do direct deposit. That means I have to wait upon a check. What a crock.. depending on the mail?? and who in this day and age doesn't offer direct deposit? and honestly the State of Illinois does not offer direct deposit? What century are they living in?

So in short, goodness knows when my money will show up. Then when it shows up when will it transferred to my account? Then of course when will they condescend to actually mail it and finally.. when will the mailman deliver it.. Sheesh I am NEVER going to see my money.. Thank Goodness that the state insisted on protecting me from a deadbeat dad.. who by the way has paid every single child support payment on time..

Makes one wonder exactly who the deadbeats are, doesn't it?

Shut Up and Listen to Grandma

Recently, I have heard all sorts of interesting philosophies on the economy, family, morals, ethics, hard work, etc... Some are of course way out there, sending me into peals of laughter but the ones that are considered the most amazing, the most ground breaking the most viable... are the same things I have heard my entire life.

Lessons learned at my grandma's knee...

hmmm let's see

1. pay yourself first. Now she wasn't talking 401K's or retirement they didn't have that then. No she meant take 10% of your income and put it into a savings account for a rainy day. Now I am horrible at this so I do make use of the 401K system to hold that 10%.. otherwise I would find a use for it.

2. give just a little bit more of yourself than you can afford. When it matters it will come back to you.

3. stand up for what you believe in, don't bow to peer pressure or trends.. they will move on with the winds of change only you remain the same..

4. quality of life is way better than quantity of life. Drive the same car for 10 or so years, live in the same house.. Yes it may seem to be too small but eventually it will be too big

5. keep learning, you are never too old to learn something new.. whether from a book or an education keep moving forward.

6. give back.. i know i said that earlier but it bears repeating.

7. live life like you were living (not like you were dying).. but always seek new adventures.

8. don't vote for the pretty one, vote for the one with the brains. research your candidates, find their histories.. what do they really believe in.

9. raise your children to understand that life is work. they don't get a free ride.. it is not your responsibility to put them through adulthood..

10. never say I can't... because as she would say.. You are an American and the last for letters of American spell I CAN... no kidding...

seriously, is there not a lesson in each of those statements.. have you not heard some of them formatted a bit differently but spouted by the new and "in" crowd? So all, maybe it is time to stop and listen to Grandma.. they it seems had a clue after all.

And the Saga Continues

Today, I received a third child support payment, so in theory they are current and up to date. I also received an email in response to the one which I sent them. In short it declared all of the Federal Laws that governed the way it was run.

"Federal law defines a business day as a day on which State offices are open for regular business. The Federal Reserve, who processes the electronic disbursement, is not open on Saturdays, Sundays, or holidays to process the files. There are timing issues involved in electronic fund transfers/direct deposits. The settlement date is always the next business day. A fairly common misconception is that "electronic" does not necessarily mean "instantaneous" is the world of electronic funds transfers (EFT); whether the funds are going to or from a bank. A further bit of clarification: the Federal law requirement is two day compliance not 48 hours. The Federal Reserve, who processes these electronic files, is not open on Saturdays/Holidays to process files. Once the electronic disbursement file is sent to the State Disbursement Unit's bank and confirmed received, the funds are flowing through the Federal Reserve ACH electronic system and are incapable of being "held" by the SDU. The money is getting to your account as quickly as the banking system allows."

hmmm, interesting, I guess I am too stupid to allow for business days and the concept of what is and isn't considered instant deposits, of course I am a 46 year old woman who has functioned in society on her own for a lifetime. But I need an email to explain what a business day is.. what they of course failed to explain is why it is that AFTER I complained to them they suddenly found my checks.. After I pitched a major fit, the checks mysteriously appeared in my account.. hmm, one has to wonder if maybe they are skirting Federal Law.. I mean if the checks were really and truly lost in the mail, then how is it the all arrived immediately after my rant? The coincidence is astounding..

Oh, I know I will never be able to prove that I am right and God forbid they admit that they screwed up.. but we all know the truth.. oh yeah, and they still haven't responded to my offer to come work for them.. teaching them basic customer service skills.

The thing that bothers me the absolute most is, yes I received my money. Yes, I won that battle but what about those women who don't have my fortitude? My anger? My ability to fight the system? To question what is said and what is true? They are left alone without a voice. They are pushed aside, waiting for the money that is theirs by law and by right. Their voices are not heard.. WRONG!! If they so choose they may consider me their voice in the battle.. I am not going to let this go away. I am tired of wondering week after week after week if this week is going to be the one where my checks are late. I am angry that I had to fight a battle that should never have had to be fought, and I have had to fight it for 12 years.. Oh no, Illinois Child Support System, I will not go quietly into the night.. Oh no, you have created an enemy, a voice for the single mom.. and here in this forum I FINALLY have a voice.

Amazingly Enough

So I write a nasty blog and then I write to Child Support sending them the link, with the threat that if I don't get my money my next step is going to be to contact my local officials and the press.

You will be amazed and astounded.... the money mysteriously arrived at the CS center on Friday. Yes that is correct 2 checks arrived on just that day. It must have just arrived because we all know that they process the checks the minute they receive them. It couldn't have anything to do with my blog, phone calls and letters.. No coincidentally they received them on Friday.

Of course, I haven't heard anything about the job yet. I think they should really consider taking me up on my offer because this year I am their worst nightmare. Yep, that is correct every check that is late is going to be the lucky recipient of a blog. Making sure that the entire world knows how very inept they are.

Now, the good news is they received the checks, the bad news is they received them on Friday so even with direct deposit I won't see the money until Monday. Oh well at least I will be able to pay my storage and won't loose my things... For that I had until next Friday. And that was only because the manager of the storage facility works with me for that I am eternally grateful.

One has to feel sorry for the Child Support System, they ticked me off... gave me a purpose... now they are going to have to be accountable for their actions...

Child Support and the Government

You have to love the government and it's ability to grab on to money and not let go..

Upon my separation from my husband I was granted child support that was supposed to go through the public aid system. This program was developed to protect women from dead beat dads.. Yeah, right. In the beginning my checks were often late, at least 3 times in the first year they were 8 weeks late. My anger at this culminated in me writing a scathing letter to just about every politician I knew from the president on down. Contacting my local state representative personally and calling the governors office. My desire to escape this program worked they let me out (I know they just didn't want to listen to me anymore but I was free).

For 10 glorious months I received my checks from a county seat, they came on time every week of course that was not to remain the case. In steps the federal government who declared every state had to have one central location to send their checks.. of course the transition was rough and the checks were late and hey who cares if I lost my home over it? Of course the county clerk lost his job but I bet he got to keep living in his house. And yes, I once again contacted every resource I could and this time I had made the paper.

That was 10 years ago, up until now things have been better. Oh an occasional check would come late but in generall I would receive my checks within a day or so of when they were expected. But they have gotten complacent! Over the past year they have been late well over 20 times and behind as much as a week if not 2 12 times.. even now they are behind 2plus weeks.

When I call, I am told that they have not received the check for one of the following reasons.

A. the company has not yet sent it (the company which has sent their checks on the same day for over 12 years and has the paperwork to prove it)

B. The post office lost it.. what an interesting theory. The PO does not loose quite as many items as one would believe and seriously the same check week after week after week? Of course they really shouldn't use this argument on a child of the postal system. I understand how it works. When you mail a letter it goes to your local Post Office, if it is leaving that town it is sent to a distribution center THAT SAME DAY and forwarded on from there. For example if one worked in Bloomingdale IL and mailed a letter it would go to the Bloomingdale PO then get sent to the Carol Stream PO which is it's distribution center. From there it will be processed to go on. Now if one was sending a letter to say oh the Child Support system of Illinois you would be sending it to a PO box AT THE CAROL STREAM PO. so it would leave your office, go to the Bloomingdale Office and then to the Carol Stream one where it would be placed in the correct PO Box (the very same day) and not leave that Post Office in anyone's hands but the person from Child Support designated to pick it up (which would happen the very DAY AFTER it was mailed)... the odds of it getting lost are very very slim.

Now when speaking to the Customer Service people (and I use that term with a bit of contempt as more than a few of said employees are rude, arrogant and insufferable - not all quite a few) they will tell you that the checks are processed the minute they arrive. Hello? that is physically impossible, it would imply that for every check there is one single person waiting there to process it... yeah right!! Since that is obviously not the case each check is not processed as soon as it comes in, rather as soon as possible. Allowing for lazy, inept employees to enter it in. I am sure an occasional honest mistake is also made. Often these times come around the holidays or days when the PO is not delivering (where the argument lost in the mail or delayed by the mail still would not work do to the proximity of the Post Offices I am discussing).

Now, I always know when they are seriously behind in the checks because I call and am kept on hold, listening to their ghastly hold music. When I comment on this I am told that the two locations are not together and thus their delays have nothing to do with what is happening with the checks. Again, hello?? they are getting more than the usual amount of calls because more than the usual amount of checks are late.. Do the math..

Of course, what do I know? years as a senior Customer Service Rep would surely not give me a clue as to how to speak with a customer making sure they at least feel like something is being done for them. And of course the time, I spent in Order Entry would never allow me basic knowledge of how an item is processed and handled.

I am serious these people need me to come work for them, give them a clue as to how to get it right.. because they just keep screwing up over and over again.. Child Support Give me a call, I know you have my name, number, address, SS#, docket #, name of my children, my ex, my dog's name, my sister's husband's cousin's fishes name.. etc. What you haven't yet learned is not to keep my money.. I am getting seriously irked.

Life's Miracles

No, I am not back on the internet.. I do though have limited use of one in the downstairs lobby of the hotel. Not the best of circumstances but at least it provides an alternative to nothing.

A long time ago when I was the golden girl and my life was full of promise; I was considered the best of friends, the one people went to when they needed a shoulder to lean on, advice, or whatever.. then life hit and it hit hard. Over the past 11+ years of single parenthood I have struggled to put food on the table a roof over their heads and clothing on their backs. For years school clothes and school supplies were sent by my mom and Christmas? well it often happened because there is a Santa Claus, not because I had the wherewith all to provide a good one. And of course the ever ongoing struggle for money.. if you listen to their father he is the reason all good things have happened and if left up to me entirely we would be on the street. Of course this confuses me since I am here every single friggen day.. trying to give them whatever I can and his contribution? Child support and the occasional grand gesture.

But that is for another day, what I honestly want to talk about is the ongoing struggle that is seriously part of my life and yes many of it is from bad choices. I am not one to put the blame on another's shoulder just because it makes me look better. As hard as it has been, amazingly enough there have been some pretty awesome miracles along the way. Just tonight one was handed to me. Now I don't deserve such graciousness but not being an idiot I am not going to complain. For some reason even in my stupidity God smiles on me and sends me angels of grace and blessings. Just think how wonderful a tribute to Him I would be if I actually listened occasionally.

What I did want to say, is that when you are down and you wonder why those miracles never happen to you.. look around are the bills paid? Do you still have a job? healthy children? a roof over your head? Believe me the miracles are coming every day in teeny tiny little ways. Appreciate them and say a prayer in thanks for me. Remember we don't deserve our miracles we just get lucky

Should We Bail??

Having been watching the news recently, and seeing what is actually legitimate news I have been forced to think. Who else is going to expect us to bail them out? What other industry is going to flounder and fall? First the Financial industry, now the automobile and I heard that American Express has their hand out too.

When will it stop? When will these bastions of creed and incompetence stop and say hey we screwed up and we need to get serious? Why is it my fault that the Automobile industry steadfastly refused to see the writing on the wall? Refusing for an entire generation now to consider the need for serious alternative fuel cars? This has been in question since I was in high school (the 70's) and probably long before that when we the consumer were clueless. Not only is fossil fuel bad for the economy face it.. we dont own the majority of it. Then while they fed off the sense of false security in Americans they gleefully pocketed buckets full of personal profit. Few of them had pride in their craft, American cars were scoffed at? Buy American? not if you wanted good gas mileage or a quality car. Now they are off to Washington whining for money.. and they go in private jets? hello have we never heard of commercial airlines? Common sense seems to fly out the window and they want us, the taxpayer to bail them out? I hope our Congress serves us well and refuses this. In the long run will another bailout actually help anything?

As a single mom who has struggled to raise her kids on her own for 11 long years.. I find I resent the greed that runs rampant in the leaders of our Corporate world