Aug 31, A Day Late

For most of you Aug 31 is the day Princess Diana died.. and yeah, I remember that. Only for me it is the day my marriage ended (still not sure if it was a happy or sad thing) and more importantly it was the day two woman who helped mold my life were born.


Do you have days in the year that mean something to you. Days other than your birthday, anniversary, kids birthday, holidays etc..? Well I do and August 31 is one of those days. In all honestly I should have written this yesterday but the words weren't there.


My Grandma, Dorthea Mae (Crabtree) Branch (There were a few other names thrown in there but I only know one of them and didn't want to ignore the other). My Grandma was a century ahead of her time. Had she been born into

My cousin Linda Comstock made this! hence the Aunt Dot

this world.. she would be president. Her teachings and thought process were so ahead of her time that I hear the pundits blowing smoke, I mean stating their new and innovative opinions and I think, That's not new.. I heard that when I was eight! Grandma was alive, vibrant.. tough as nails and proud of it. She could do ANYTHING she set her mind to and did! While she seemed to enjoy the occasional man (enough to marry three of them) she didn't really have a use for them.. I am sure there were all sorts of reasons why but for me, it didn't matter. She was Katherine Hepburn strong.. classy, gorgeous and yes a tough old broad (that was a compliment back in the day). I remember when we were kids and went to the mountains to go inner tubing and sledding.. there was grandma sliding down the hill right next to us. 

When I was a child she needed a traveling companion.. I go picked!! I was lucky enough to travel with her every two years for the next few years.. Hawaii (for a month), The East Coast, The West Coast.. and we didn't just travel we say, we learned. It was experiences that stayed with me forever. 

She always had this nifty little sayings and quotes Like:

• BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP.
• PRETTY IS AS PRETTY DOES
•  THERE IS NO SUCH WORD AS CAN'T. YOU ARE AN AMERICAN AND THE LAST FOUR LETTERS OF AMERICAN SPELL I CAN [believe me we rarely used the words I can't.. but as I got older and had kids.. I was a brownie leader and whenever the girls would say I can't I would say.. “Now if I had said that around my grandma she would say...(insert phrase here)” to this day.. those little girls now 19 – 22 can be heard to quote me when someone says I can't to them.]

Aside from that I have one (ok two great memories) of my grandma.

 What is hard to believe is that while I spent hours, days, weekends, weeks and even months at a time with Grandma I never and I mean never remember her cooking for me. Now we all know she fed me.. but to this day I don't remember what except for these two occasions..

Grandma had those wonderful orange trees in her backyard and I thought hey wouldn't it be cool to learn how to make freshly squeezed orange juice. So I asked Grandma.. “how do you make orange juice” *note I must learn to phrase my questions properly as I didn't ask for fresh juice and I did ask how “she” make juice.. Anyway, grandma went to the freezer pulled out a can of frozen orange juice and tossed it to me, saying.. “If you can read, you can make orange juice”

Having not learned my lesson, another time I wanted to learn how to bake a cake (you know from scratch.. don't even ask me why). So I asked Grandma (you know the one I never remember cooking for me) “Grandma, will you teach me how to bake a cake?” Yep you guessed it, grandma went over to the cupboard pulled out a box of cake mix and tossed it to me.. “If you can read, you can bake a cake”.. what did I learn? Don't ask grandma to teach you to cook and grandma was a great advocate of reading!

My cousin Linda Comstock made this!

The second most amazing woman and in my honest opinion the smartest woman I ever met.. and probably smarter than most I haven't. Was my Aunt Jean. Yep Grandma's oldest daughter.. born on the same day. She had a hard life and made some harder choices but through it all she was strong.. She was a woman to be admired and she played a huge part in my life!! When I took a friend to California a few years back (9 or 10 now) we spent some time with my aunt and let me tell you Mary will back me up on this. My Aunt Jean did something with her life.. Shoot she did everything!! A fabulous teacher, in her later years she and my uncle Karl, gave up their teaching positions in the American School system (A very well paying school district) and cut their salaries in half, in order to teach in the American Schools. They were actually teaching in Kuwait when Iraq invaded.. Well they were home for a three week vacation when Iraq invaded.. so they remained alive and well, but their things, all gone.. The only piece of jewelry I wear regularly was given to me by my aunt. And I think of her every time I glance at my finger and see it. 

Now Aunt Jean came close to repeating history with the birth of her youngest child. Lizzie was born on Sept 1. We are all convinced that Aunt Jean didn't want to keep the tradition going, so she crossed her legs and refused to push until the clock struck midnight.. either that or going into labor interfered with her birthday party.. no one is quite sure.

Since I am writing this on Sept 1.. Happy Birthday Lizzie 

My cousin Linda Comstock made this!

Shauni

Happy Birthday Natasha Lynn

There are moments in our lives where we remember exactly where we were when it happened. I am sure most of us remember, 911.. 

I remember when Mark Spitz won his 7th gold medal, I remember where I was when Elvis Died and John Wayne.. But one of my favorite memories was when my sister Natasha was born. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I was told of her birth.

I was 8 years old and away at summer camp for the first time. I was so excited because finally no more day camp. Honestly, I don't really remember my mother being pregnant.. I mean she just was, I wasn't all that excited.. I already had two brothers. One older and one younger so what's one more kid? 

There we all were, in the mess hall enjoying dinner when one of the camp big wigs came and got me... totally scared me to death.. Seriously, what did I do? And why was I in trouble.. yeah, I know, Paranoid much? but hey, I was eight.. Anyway they pull me into a back room (who knew they had a back room with a phone in it) and handed me the phone. It was my mom, letting me know I had a baby sister.. Natasha Lynn.. I know I said all the right responses and refrained from saying seriously, you pulled me from dinner for this.. but we all know I was thinking it. 

Tasha has been a joy my entire life. I am honestly grateful for the eight years between us because she was truly a beautiful child.. and had she been just behind me my envy might have erupted.. instead I could enjoy her. Over the years I learned just how deep her beauty went. 

She was the person who would have custody of my children should anything happen to either myself or my ex.. yep I was placing my babies in her hands.. and I wrote this will when she was barely 21. I knew even then that she would always put my kids first.. As a matter of fact my only fear was that she would love my children so much that they would forget about me. I know weird thought.. and yet what a great comfort for a mother.. Knowing your children would always be loved. 

She has made every graduation both Middle School and HS (pretty impressive since she lives in FL and we lived in IL).. always remembered birthdays and holidays (way better aunt than I am) and has made trips to Disney World to see them when they performed there. There my sister was, with a double stroller, a video camera and a phone (calling me so I wouldn't miss it).. 

A Generous heart, a great friend and an even better sister..

Yep, I got lucky that long ago day when they pulled me from my dinner..

Shauni

Happy Birthday Uncle Johnny!

Monday was my Uncle Johnny's Birthday.. I didn't get a chance to write this blog until now but I really wanted to share my feelings about him.

I come from a definite matriarchal family, the amount of men who marry into our family and stay is very very small. Now the men seem to have a bit better luck. I think part of our problem is we are strong women.. and I mean strong. Women who have never needed a man to "take" care of them, just to care for them. Sadly, in generations past men didn't get that. But Uncle Johnny Did..

Honestly in my entire life there have been a very few men who have been around for the duration. Some because well we grow up and move on but others because they didn't want to stay. But Uncle Johnny has been a mainstay in our family for generations.. That's right.. generations! He married my Aunt Margie as a very young man, 25 I think and true to the daring ground breaking women that I come from, he was ten years her junior. But he loved her kids.. and together they had three more. 

This man has always been a source of laughter, joy and security for me. I know if I ever needed him he was right there, in the same home, in the same town.. of course that doesn't mean he always stays put.. nope the man is always on the move. Visiting navy buddies, family, friends.. on the go! 

One thing Uncle Johnny is famous for are his stories.. he has a lifetime of them! Of course as children we didn't always appreciate them but as an adult, I seriously hope someone has written them down! My favorite was always the peanut butter cookies and the sharks one. Now I am paraphrasing and may get a lot of it wrong but.. 

Uncle Johnny was a Navy cook, on a ship (not sure what type) but for some reason one time they got cans and cans and cans of peanut butter (huge coffee cans). Not sure what to do with it and not having anywhere near enough recipes for peanut butter, the cooks made peanut butter cookies. (I am sure the men just got sick of those cookies). One day Uncle Johnny said the boat just started to rock, no one could figure out what it was.. Are you ready for this? The men decided to feed the fish the cookies. I guess it was a complete treat because it not only attracted fish but sharks.. and those sharks were hungry.. Before anyone even knew what was going along the sharks started hitting the boat (Naval Vessel NOT canoe) and the entire ship just started rocking.. 

Now I can't seem to remember the end of that story or how they extradited themselves but these are the gems that Uncle Johnny shared with us over a lifetime. 

Uncle Johnny was the first of our family to get email, he had his AOL account as soon as humanly possible and would correspond with family and friends all over the world. No way was technology leaving this man behind. 

I mentioned my Aunt Margie, and they had a storybook love.. the kind you read about. They were always together even when Aunt Margie got so ill she had to live in a home. Uncle Johnny went daily to have meals with her.. Just to be with is Margaret.

The most amazing thing about this wonderful man is is capacity to love. The man has five children and seventeen grandchildren (No clue how many greats are in there) and yet every Christmas and birthday my kids would get a card with two fives in it.. Saying Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday love Aunt Margaret and Uncle Johnny.. This tradition went on through their teens, yes even after Aunt Margie left us.. Uncle Johnny never forgot.. 

Honestly, I am not used to men who stay.. it's just such a wonderful gift that I was given this man to be a part of my life. To be loved by and to love! I admire him more as an adult then I was ever able to as a child.. To me he represents what love, true enduring love is.. 

So while I missed writing this on his birthday.. I still wish him a Happy Birthmonth!! Hope you celebrate every day of it!

Shauni 

Reflections

Last Friday I celebrated my 51st birthday.. It was a quiet day but held a lot of meaning for me. Ever since I had children the plan was for me to be finished raising them by the time I was 50. Originally it meant that my husband and I would be empty nesters and would be able to enjoy our golden years... But 10 years into marriage that sort of tanked. 

There I was with four children ages 9,7,5 and 3... at the very beginning of an amazing journey. Over the years there has been homelessness, poverty, unemployment and evictions. The one and only thing I managed to do for my children was raise them in the same town they were born in. A small town nesteled in the suburbs of Chicago. A Place where the head librarian knew if you needed help with your homework. Where if your children were up to no good across town, you knew about it before they got home. A place that celebrated it's children with a decent school system, a good park district, an excellent library and a community minded Village Hall. All of this and still just a short 20 minutes away from downtown Chicago. What a great place.. But it was never my place.. I existed there.. for my kids. 

My youngest left for the Univ of Wyoming last Fall and yes she came home for Christmas but isn't coming home for summer break.. My second youngest left for Western IL Univ almost three years ago and has never really come home.. My boys.. well the oldest is 25 and on his own path.. Finding his way and living his dreams.. My second son, he has finally found a path he wants to follow.. oh sure he may change his mind but he is headed out. 

What does this mean to me? Well it means finally I can fly.. it's my turn to soar... Oh sure I haven't planned it, I didn't save for it (since I spent every last penny I had and then some on the kids) but now I am going. Will I be judged? Heck yeah, it's already begun.. Even my kids are shaking their heads and judging how I am going about. "That's not the way it's done" "You have to do it this way?" How is it that I managed to raise FOUR kids three of which are in college ON. MY. OWN... and yet everyone thinks I am useless? Incapable of standing on my own two feet?

Part of it is my fault.. the last five years have been really hard on me.. I lost my inner way.. I sunk into depression and had to fight really really hard to get out. And yes I lived way too much in my head (I personally like the world that goes on in my head but it doesn't pay the bills). But honestly people.. I did it your way for years.. what did it get me personally? Five years of depression!! Now I have to do it my way! It's going to be hard.. It's going to be a struggle but you know what? I have been struggling for years for everyone else. Now I get to struggle for me! 

What do I want out of it? It's simple really.. I want forever! I want the magic of a midnight moon and the wonder of a mountain meadow. I want joy and laughter and friendship.. oh how I want friendship.. I don't want to be alone anymore. While living in my head is fun it is lonely.. 

So my friends the adventure begins!!

Shauni

Happy Birthday Dr Seuss

Over at Speculative Fiction they are doing celebrating Dr Seuss' birthday by doing Seuss style blog

Here's my attempt

Happy Birthday Dr Seuss
you'd be here if I choose
you'd be here to write a book
you'd be here to meet a zook

If I had my way
You'd be here to stay
writing writing every day
maybe even writing a play

If you were here
I would stand up and cheer
wishing you well
with my silly spell

but you are not
things aren't so hot
you've been gone a while
But I still smile

when I hear about ham
and someone named sam
whenever a hoo let's out a shout
or a screech is out and about

I miss you today
All of the way
But at least we know
what you tried to show

that you were you,
that is truer than true
and there is no one alive, who is Youer than You!!

@Shauni

hey don't laugh it's a poem

A Theme Today Hair Boy is 21!!

In case you missed my blog over at Jugglingteens my oldest turns 21 today. I can't help it my theme for the day is happy birthday sweetie..

As I have dedicated 6 blogs to the boy I won't go into major details but I am going with the theme..

Happy Birthday... and no way no how am I old enough to be the parent to a 21 year old...

Happy Birthday

Today celebrates the birthday of the first boy I ever loved.. I don't remember a time in my life when he wasn't there.. My first memories are of him and his sharing with me.. He taught me how to spell my name (as it is 23 letters first and back this was no mean feat) taught me how to swim, taught me how to be a little sister. Strictly by being a big brother.

My first memories are of him at the beach.. there we were two towheads covered in zinc oxide, collecting shells, learning the ways of the water, eventually learning to body surf and later to surf. He was the one I pestered to play catch with me, to ride bikes with me and to go adventuring.

At the age of 6 someone had the brilliant idea to put him on a pair of skis... oh my could he ski. I remember one of the few times as a child I went skiing with him.. I was maybe 9 so he was about 12.. people, adults would stop just to watch him go by.. he was beauty in motion. By the age of 13 he had maneuvered the Matterhorn (and not the one at Disneyland).

In high school he discovered surfing and of course he was an amazing surfer as well. There wasn't much athletically that my brother couldn't do.

Unfortunately he made some bad choices in life and has had a rough adulthood but nothing can ever take away the way he impacted my life. The way he was there for me, loved me and protected me. He turns 50 today and I can not help but think of him.. wish him well and hope he knows deep inside that he is loved..

Happy birthday big brother..

Just One Theme Today

It's my baby's 17th birthday!! Well not "the" baby.. but my special baby! She is wacky and wonderful, strong and determined, independent and needy, moody, broody and full of life! a daily challenge. A joy to have in my life.. Happy Birthday Ashley-Frances