Did You Ever??

Did you ever express yourself for the sheer joy of sharing who and what you are and find out later that your words hurt someone else? Did you ever wonder why it is that no matter what you say it is the wrong thing? Did you ever try to live your own life and not make it about others and then find out that you are making it all about you?

Recently I have had some pretty crappy times, I have leaned on people and frankly I hate it. Because I hate taking from people I am not gracious with it yet with the way things have been going about in my life for the past year I have needed all the charity I can get.

The things is charity is an interesting thing, people expect something back from it. If you are lucky all they expect is for you to pick yourself up and pay it forward. The thing is picking yourself back up is hard sometimes seemingly impossible. Especially when you are being monitored and watched for mistakes.When your very words of growth are used as an attack on those who have loved you in the past.

I have been given a lot lately, by people who genuinely cared I accepted it in the vein it was offered but now I wonder should I have not.. should I have just accepted the consequences of my choices and moved on? and then I decided, I am so imperfect.. I am such a flawed and broken vessel... who am I to decide what I am worthy or unworthy of?

So today I am reminding myself of a simple and basic truth, choosing to live by it.. bring it close to my heart and truly listen to the words.. and sometimes it means remembering to love yourself..

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I Love Words

I absolutely adore words.. the way they sound the way they trip across your tongue. they dance and flow.. skip their way through your life. To me the sheer joy of wrapping my tongue around a good word is astounding. There are times when I will use a word and just stop and pause.. liking the way it feels. I warned you all I was odd..

Anyway today I decided to post of few of my favorite words.. please feel free to add one of your own.

1. Plethora:

1: a bodily condition characterized by an excess of blood and marked by turgescence and a florid complexion2: excess , superfluity ; also : profusion , abundance

— ple·tho·ric plethoric" title=" Listen to the pronunciation of plethoric"> \plə-ˈthȯr-ik, ple-, -ˈthär-; ˈple-thə-rik\ adjective

2. Condundrum:

1: a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun2 a: a question or problem having only a conjectural answer b: an intricate and difficult problem

3. Maelstrom:

1 : a powerful often violent whirlpool sucking in objects within a given radius 2 : something resembling a maelstrom in turbulence

4. Brouhaha:

: hubbub , uproar

5. Circumspect: :
: careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences : prudent

6. Palpalple:
1 : capable of being touched or felt : tangible
*2 : obvious, plain

7. Facetious:
*1 : joking or jesting often inappropriately : waggish
2 : meant to be humorous or funny : not serious

8. Muckrake: :
to search out and publicly expose real or apparent misconduct of a prominent individual or business

9. Pantheon:
1 : a temple dedicated to all the gods; also : the gods of a people
*2 : a group of illustrious persons

10. Shunpike:
: a side road used to avoid the toll on or the speed and traffic of a superhighway

thanks to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary for the accurate definitions..

Like I said.. please leave a word..