Talent

Lately I have been considering all of the times I have wasted the talent that God gave me and how I can correct that. I was gifted with a superb imagination, an ability to turn the pictures into words and an extreme sense of whimsy. Instead of using those talents I brushed them aside.

The thing about talent is that with all things some of it can be learned. A person can learn how to play basketball but Michael Jordan taught us what it was to fly. A person who has learned a skill may actually be quite good at it, sometimes better than one with natural talent because they have worked harder to find it. A person with natural talent always seems to just find the easy way to do that one thing and often because it is easy they abuse it.

That is what I have done with my writing, my photography, my quilting, even my jewlery making. I see things, I create them and I move on but I don't really make use of my talents. I putter.. and that I fear is my sin.

"and since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us each exercise them accordingly" Romans 12:6.

Sounds like a pretty easy thing to do. Use the talents God gave you.. wow.. simple basic and yet like all things very hard to actually live up to. Honestly I know several people who actually do this day to day, year to year, decade to decade and they have had rich fulfilling lives. Perfect? I doubt it, I am sure they could give me a list as long as my arm of things that are wrong in their lives but their lives are good! They are happy better yet they are content. There isn't that constant need to find the next thing..

I have one friend who I have known since the age of 6 (well actually I have two such friends but I am only going to speak of one right now) yes I have know her for 42 years and for most of them we have had a bond of friendship that surpasses differences. She is a woman who has always inspired me, even as children she knew what she was good at and what she was going to do. She wanted to sew and boy was she ever talented. She went to fashion design school, married a lovely man and had two daughters.. she isn't a "fashion designer" no she uses her talents in every day ways. While I say she isn't a fashion designer I do know she is well established and has made dresses for events such as the Miss California Contest so she is no slouch.

Lori, has found a very simple way to follow God's word in her everyday life. She didn't listen to what the world said she should be, she listened to what God say she was/is. Because of that she inspires me, amazes me and someday if I am very lucky she will say the same thing about me.

Love ya Lori

Envy

Envy is an interesting thing, it takes the most grounded of people (of which I have never ever claimed to be) and twists them until they hardly recognize themselves. Recently, I have been feeling some pretty serious case of envy for several of my old friends. I am not at a point where I get twisted up and go all evil on anyone but I get these twinges inside that hurt.

All my life all I really wanted was "that life" oh I never needed to be rich or famous (although I honestly would never have turned away from that) but I needed to be loved, needed and wanted. To be important to those around me. I have always known I was loved, at times I have realized that I was needed but rarely have I felt wanted. It is a hard burden on one's self esteem, especially when one seriously lacks self esteem.

Recently I, like many of you, have gotten in touch with old friends on facebook and I see some of their lives, the lives they created and I admit I feel envy. A strong pulling inside one time I was even moved to tears because that was supposed to be my life. Intellectually, I know that their lives are not perfect that they have trials and tribulations just like anyone else but I would love to struggle through those trials as opposed to the ones I have. I also understand that these individuals made choices that brought them there just like I made choices that brought me here. I do not want them to have less of a life I want to find out how to have that one. Of course it would be different because my history and my previous choices but still it would be good.

For now, I am working on making the right choices, to remove myself from situations that cause me inner hurt. To make sure I commit myself to my faith and my God. Not just token words but to actually live what I believe. I have failed to do so over many years and each day is a constant struggle to make the right choice. I don't know if I will ever be part of one of those relationships, honestly I don't know if I am capable of it. I do know I do something to repel people over time. but I yearn.

In the meantime, I am choosing to remember a basic commandment

Exodus 20:17

“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.”

Go UCONN

I am a huge sports fan and even more so a huge fan of college sports. I was raised to appreciate them. My parents tell the story of my dad asking my mom (the non sports fan) on their first date, to go see the 7' basketball player, a freshman at UCLA then known as Lou Al Cinder.

I was blessed in the fact that my dad loved sports but he also loved his children, all of us. We did not understand the dynamics of male/female athletes. The better player played. Well in our games we all played but we were never told that we were not any good because of gender. I remember watching UCLA, I remember them winning honestly for years and I mean years I thought there really wasn't another college basketball team worth watching. I think I was in my late 20's before I found out that UCLA wasn't considered the best and that there were other premier teams.

When UCONN first came on to the scene back in the 90's I enjoyed their rise to stardom. They were not just good they were sexy. They were ladies any young girl could look up to and appreciate. The sad fact is they were attractive, because we all know in women's sports you don't get to just be the best you must be the most attractive (thank you Don Imes, even if everyone seemed to miss that part of the insult). And the UCONN girls were just that, attractive.

What gets lost so often is they are more than pretty girls who play basketball they are the best. They have accomplished something that NO OTHER college basketball team has accomplished. Not a single one. WOW!!

We, the sports fans of America should be cheering these ladies on. We should be showering them with accolades and watching them with awe. I know many are and sadly I also know that there are many who will push them back to mere girl status. All I can say is too bad for those who do that. Too bad for any who attempt to diminish this amazing accomplishment to a gender thing. These girls are awesome athletes, awesome competitors and awesome winners.

Congratulations UCONN you did good.

ps.. this blog is dedicated to Sarah who doesn't play basketball but does go to UCONN so I had to give her a shout out.

Time to Post

It has been so very long since I kept up my regular blog that it actually feels wierd sitting here typing but it is time to get off my laziness (I would say lazy rear but since I am typing I am still on said rear) and get back to blogging.

It has been an interesting and eventful year for me. I have been working on just developing who I am and where I am headed. I have worked on reconnecting with the faithful and maintaining relationships. It seems the years of my marriage were spent in hiding and the years after were spent in habitual hiding. Not that I ever wasn't front and center rather I was emotionally distant. I put up the wall and kept everyone at arms length. Let me tell you it made for a very lonely time. In a strange way facebook has been part of my salvation. I have been able to re connect with friends and see what they are doing and how their lives are progressing.

After reading about their lives I find I am envious. I do not like to feel envy that others have wonderful fulfilled lives. I understand that none of their lives are perfect but many of them have the life I wanted. I had to ask myself, how did they get these lives? As far as I can see, most of them got it by listening to God and following His plan for their lives. Unlike me, the queen of yes I understand Your plan but can I tweak it just a bit? I have to think God just shakes his head and waits to see how I am gonna mess up a perfectly good plan this time.

It is hard for me to just follow direction. A lesson I definitely need to learn. I like the big picture but to follow the map is somehow beyond me. I need to get on that. Anyway, I am getting ever so tired of banging my head against the wall and have finally stopped to listen.

My church has this fabulous over 40's program that I dream of attending. I do not have a car and getting there will be a challenge. I am hoping it is God's will that I attend and somehow I get there. To be able to interact with like minded Christian adults would be fabulous. A few of my friends have pointed out that this is a form of singles fellowship and yes I agree that is so but it isn't for the dating factor that I want to interact with others who have some of the same life issues. Someone who gets the bone deep loneliness of being a single parent of being without a part of me.

I know there are many who thrive on being an individual and I am certainly that but I am also by nature a pack creature. I am not a lone wolf I am an alpha wolf.. sorta. I think my personality has confused many because while I have no problem caring for myself and my kids in a completely unique and totally non traditionally manner, I do need to be able to lean, to find that person to rely on.

Had I waited upon God's plan instead leaping into the big picture I would have had all that, instead I have what I have made. I have great kids and I am very proud of them. I am just so thankful that they are in my life and I can not see doing anything that would have changed having them but it would have been nice to not be so missing something the entire time I was raising them.

They are growing and almost gone and in a way so am I. In a way, I wait, I am waiting to see where the road leads and where God plans me to be. I hope and yes I hope it is part of something special, something good, something precious but if not I can only be grateful that He allowed me to be part of the amazing lives of my children. That I had that something special but still I yearn.. so let's see where the adventure leads.

A Fall Fundraiser

Our local High School Band will be going on a trip this fall.. we are throwing a fall fundraiser.. while I know most of you can not come, I thought that maybe you might want to consider donating to our fund raiser. Any person or company that donates will be mentioned in our advertising as well as thanked prominently at the actual event

To Whom It May Concern:


The Fenton High School Music Department will be traveling to San Antonio, Texas in the spring of 2011 on a trip of music education, responsibility, camaraderie, and fun. The experience of travel is one of a lifetime for most and can be a reality with your help.

The promotion of professionalism in music and the reward for countless efforts and hard work can create a lifetime of memories for the students in our community. Our community’s music students will have the opportunity of performing at the famed Alamo while on this trip, they will also be visiting such locations as Sea World, a Dude Ranch and enjoying a stroll along the famous San Antonio Riverwalk. There’s not too much time for sleep, but what a unique opportunity.

In the past, several students were not able to attend because of financial burden. Many Children have never had the opportunity to travel and this trip will provide a new and exciting experience for them. Due to the educational value of this experience, we, the Fenton Band Boosters, are making every effort to decrease that number. Every member of the band and choir has and will continue to raise funds through numerous fundraising opportunities to raise money for their trip expenses. With their efforts and yours, maybe we can avoid leaving anyone at home.

The Fenton Band Boosters will be hosting a Cocktail Dance on Friday November 5, 2010 as a formal fund raiser. At the dance we will have a Band, which is lead by a former Fenton Band Member. There will be raffles and door prizes. We ask that you, as extended members of the Fenton Community, reach into your hearts to help support these wonderful kids. We would appreciate any items that you would like to donate to help these raffles. They could be movie tickets, pool passes, dinner at your restaurant, a night at your establishment, tickets to the ball game or the Opera. We would appreciate anything you have to offer. If you feel you are unable to donate a product for the raffle but would still like to help out we would gladly accept any cash donations. All profits will go to the kids in order to make this trip the best that Fenton has ever had. Our goal is to raise $200.00 per student to offset costs. We would appreciate any donation possible.

We are aiming to have all donations received by October 15th so that we may incorporate your tremendous generosity into our program. For more information, please contact me at Shaunispeaks@yahoo.com and I will provide you with a mailing address to better expedite your donation. Also all donations will be tax deductible.

Thank you in advance for your support! With your help and generosity for our music program, we will continue to contribute to the growth and development of our future leaders!

Sincerely,



Shauni
Chairperson Fall Fundraiser
Fenton High School
Band Booster Liaison

Sometimes Life Just Cracks Me Up

So I was a little bored tonight and was skimming through yahoo.. Sometimes it is fun to see what is trending. I noticed that The Blues Brothers came up. Now the Blues Brothers is a movie that ran pretty much nonstop for years in our household. The ex was a huge music fan and the movie is fun.The kids can all quote from it, almost as much as from The Princess Bride but that is another story.

Since I saw it was trending I went to see what was up.. Did you know that the Vatican has placed it on it's list of movies recommended for catholics? Here is a quote... "On the 30th anniversary of the film's release, "L'Osservatore Romano," the Vatican's official newspaper, called the film a "Catholic classic" and said it should be recommended viewing for Catholics everywhere." Seriously everyone stop laughing! All because Jake and Elroy were on a mission for God..

This movie has been placed on the list along with such movies as Cecil B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments," "Jesus of Nazareth" from Franco Zeffirelli," Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ," Victor Flemming's "Joan of Arc," and "It's a Wonderful Life" from Frank Capra. Yes a list of classics to be sure but now it also includes The Blues Brothers!!

I suppose it is great to see that sometimes just plain fun and good music do matter but I am still sitting here and giggling!

So Word Girl and I were off to orientation this week. I must admit it was an arduous journey but we did manage to have some fun...

The adventure started on Wednesday when we realized that I needed an ID as mine had been expired I obvious needed a new one. Fortunately a good friend managed to find the time to fit me into her incredibly busy schedule and drop me off at the DMV then pick me up an hour later. Who knew going to the DMV could be fun? Somehow I managed to get the lady behind the counter with my sense of humour and we managed to laugh through the entire event. Can you believe I had a good time at the DMV? Ok that is an altogether different story. Of course I had not realized that fees had gone up and Drivers licenses were now $30.00 not a huge biggee but I had this trip planned to the penny and that was eating into my pennies..

Bright and early Thursday morning we were up for our taxi to get to the train station to get downtown. We arrived at our local station early which of course means we were able to get the earlier train.. only problem there we were rushed buying our tickets and instead of buying round trip we bought one way.. oh well we could get them coming back. Upon arrival at Union Station Word Girl started to stress about how we would miss our train or not get seats together or whatever.. so we bought a quick breakfast and went immediately to the Amtrak station needless to say we were way early, they hadn't even started to board the train that left before us. So we waited.. Finally we got on board and of course there were plenty of seats. It was a lovely ride just short of 4 hours and no hassles I really enjoyed this part.

When we got to Macomb we decided to walk to school, I had tried to find out bus info but it was too confusing online (not too much later I would find myself wishing I had done better research). The walk to the school was pleasant and not too far BUT once we reached the campus was an entirely different story. The campus is lovely it is placed upon rolling hills.. not mountains and not huge climbs but hills none the less. I thought I was gonna die.. it was HOT, HUMID and Hilly... of course the fact that I am ridiculously out of shape and overweight didn't help. By the time we were about 1/3 of the way I knew I was in trouble so I decided to mortify my daughter and ask a school employee for help. The lovely woman gave us a ride AND a mini tour of the campus. Then dropped us off at our location. Once checked in I met a family that had found the bus route.. believe me I remembered them later.. lol

The day was long.. lots of informative meetings by the last one though a migraine was setting in.. long day, no sleep, almost collapsing in the heat and not eating for one reason or another and my head was about to explode.. fortunately dinner started and we could take a break.. there were more meetings in the evening but Word Girl sweetly (and yes she was actually sweet) told me to rest and then come downstairs when they had the end of the evening fun.. I did so had a fun time, enjoyed watching my daughter interact, she is so like me.. the girls like her but she just automatically seems to connect with the males of the species.. not romantically but in friendship..

Then next morning, breakfast then more sessions.. Finally ending around 4. We waited for our bus at 5:30 which took us to the train and met our train at 6:18.. Of course during the wait more drama ensued.. ooops Word Girl hadnt realized that some of the money I had put on her card was for the trip so she had spent it. We had enough left for the metra ride home from Union Station IF they accepted debit cards.. of course by the time we found out it would be too late a phone call home got the ball rolling and a friend dropped 30 in her account (not that we knew this part as we were on the train with out good cell service).

When we reached Union Station we heard an announcement saying the train that was supposed to leave BEFORE we got in was leaving in 5 minutes we ran.. First towards the ticket station. Now since we weren't sure what they would accept and or if the money was in her account I stopped a man explained the situation and he gave us 10.00. So either way we were fine. Of course they took Visa and all of Word Girls worries were nothing but drama for the event.. but hey such is life. We made the train which involved me running Word Girl says I didn't run I waddled but hey my feet and knees thought I was running.

Our taxi was waiting at the train station another woman needed a ride to a place more or less on the way. She asked if we would share.. hello, nice lady at Western, Friend who deposits in account and Nice Stranger who gives us 10.00? OF COURSE we would share.. Got home and crashed.. It was a long two days.

ALL I can say about this trip really is..

1.Western does a nice job with their orientations sometimes they repeat themselves in different sessions but I would rather hear it twice than not at all.

2. Make sure you find out all transportation issues before embarking..

3. and this should be 1. Praise God for taking care of me.. I can be an airhead at times but God ALWAYS manages to make sure I am cared for..

4. Be sure and pay it forward.. there are many people out there who need a simple and often easily accomplished helping hand.