Had another stab today.. So I wanted to remind myself to let go.. and continue healing..
It's a great concept but really hard when the past slaps you in the rear.. when you miss what was and know that there is no way you can ever in any healthy way go back. And honestly, don't ever want to but still when you see links formed because of you and you are outside looking in.. it is hard...
I don't let go well.. I don't let go of my friends.. I hold them in my heart for a long time after they have moved on. It is a hard part of me and one that I have to accept. I have to accept this fact of my life because after 50plus years it isn't going to change...
As hard as it is for me to let go of friends it is equally hard for me to let go of grievances.. yeah, I hold a grudge.. usually against friends who hurt me.. don't worry I hold grudges against myself too.. either way it's not a healthy place to be. I don't see myself changing at this point but I am working on accepting this fact about myself and moving forward.
To that end.. I am going to force myself to let go.. I forgive you.. now maybe I won't get so upset everytime I stumble upon your name.
Shauni
I think you can let go, but you don't have to "forgive"--whatever that means. For me, it is okay to acknowledge that someone has done me wrong or hurt me...and then try to move past that feeling of betrayal. BUT I don't have to forgive them--I don't get that. Nope, if you done me wrong, you've done me wrong and I won't say that is okay, because it is not okay.
ReplyDeleteI've had hurt too, and I work on processing the event in my head and coming to terms with how I can go on without that event playing over and over again in my head. Sometimes that involves saying out loud "That was wrong and I know it, but I will survive and move past it." That's they key--not letting it affect you on a day to day basis.
Once you can do that and not let yourself focus on it for a day or two, you can extend your time to weeks, then months, then years. No, you will never forget, nor get over it, but you can choose to not let it dominate you and your mind.
I wish you peace, my friend. Internal peace is the hardest, but most important to achieve. I hope you get there soon. ((Hugs)
Thanks Lin.. you are a great blogger friend.. always there with the words that make me just like myself a bit more..
DeleteI agree, sometimes letting go is better than forgiving.. but forgiving is a way of allowing the bitterness to seep out of you..
For the most part I am better just every now and then things jump up and bite me in the rear