Michelle Obama bood at NASCAR

This bothers me on so many levels.. 

First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden were grand marshals at today’s NASCAR season finale at Homestead-Miami Speedway, appearing as part of their charitable campaign to support military veterans and their families. Both of these ladies have worked really hard on this program one that every American should be supporting.. This is not a political thing this is the right thing.. and we should be proud that the two most powerful women (ok Oprah isn't involved.. but the next two most important) in our country think it is important enough for us to be aware of it. It is so important that they went to a NASCAR event.. why? because a HUGE sector of our military comes from the NASCAR fan base.. Do you really think they woke up one day and said.. hey let's go to a car race?

And yet.. they went.. to honor those who serve by offering support to their families.. You don't have to like President Obama.. you don't have to like his wife.. but as Americans we should support and respect the office and what it represents and yes that includes his wife.. Even more than what they were there supporting.. they were there representing something precious.. Us.. if you don't like them.. VOTE.. ok, how many of you VOTE? yeah.. I thought so.. and yet people sit and boo the first lady for being what? married to the man who dared to try and make a difference?

This isn't about being a Republican or a Democrat it's about being an American.. It's about respecting something bigger than we are.. More people need to learn basic manners.. *sigh* yeah and vote darn it!!

Lesson Learned!!

Yes this will be a self congratulatory post.. I can't help it.. I have actually managed to do something I have NEVER been able to do.. I SHUT MY MOUTH!! Yes that is right..

I have this amazing ability to stick my foot in it.. yeah, a lot of the times I am right but at what expense? When I was a kid, I was the best at seeing the good in people and accepting their verbal batterings with a smile.. somewhere along the line I decided that I needed to change and stand up for myself.. in theory good.. in reality.. not so much.

I agree, verbal battering is bad.. it's abuse and yeah I sucked it in for a lot of years while growing up. I still do with some people.. when I respond I sound bitter and angry.. petty.. and they sound reasonable.. they aren't but my resentment doesn't change them. I had to decide that I was handling it wrong for me and figure out how to handle it right. The way I see it I have three choices..

1. Accept that the person is not going to change and if you want them in your life then you just have to accept that this is the way they are.. Doesn't make them right.. just makes it who they are
2. Remove that person from your life
3. Fight back.. 

There are problems with all three choices.. accepting a person who belittles you constantly, means the verbal abuse continues.. and I am here to tell you it does.. You have to be really strong to deal with this kind of battering.. day in and day out and honestly.. most people aren't.

Removing a person from your life.. hard, especially if it is someone like a parent, spouse, child, sibling.. you know a relative.. You KNOW they love you and if you explained that they were abusive they would be appalled or worse *rolls eyes* point out how sensitive you are... Yes you can remove some negative forces but removing all is hard..

Fight back.. yeah did I mention that doesn't work out so well with me? I always get hurt when I do this.. Either I sound like such a flaming witch, others turn away or I am so intensely passionate, once again I look like an over emotional twit.

Recently two things happened.. and I have handled both situations differently..
The first one was extremely personal and I won't go into it.. but I decided on a combination of 1 and 2.. I have to accept this person for who she is but I can do it on a very limited basis.. I don't have to be the one to initiate the relationship interaction and I can accept that things will never be where I want them to be.. In a way, I did some serious pruning to that relationship. I feel like this burden has been lifted from my shoulders.. one that has been there for so long that I had forgotten what it was like to live without it.. If I ever knew..

The second.. well a case of a person telling me how to behave and represent myself.. yeah.. the words were there.. I had a pithy response right there.. I was ready to blast her.. I worked up a spreadsheet for pete's sake.. But then, instead of giving it to her with both barrels.. I shut up.. yeah.. I refrained.. I took evasive action and have redefined how I am going to deal with this person.. Believe me that is a HUGE Step forward for me..

Life is going to get interesting because both of these people are in my life to stay.. at least for a while.. I just need to know how to work with them to my benefit.. not to let them win in my inner self..  Not to give them power over me.. the me that matters.. it will take time but every day.. each step along the path helps..

And The Broncos Win!

I LOVE IT!! While I am not a Bronco fan I am a Tim Tebow fan!! No, not one of those crazed people who does the "Tebow" all over the place, nor one who assumes he all but walks on water... nah, I just plain ole like the kid!. He is polite, considerate, a hard worker and committed to his faith... and THAT is the problem.

This young man has been more vilified than anyone in football EVER.. yeah the Penn State fiasco will blow over... OJ Who? Vick, you mean the current football darling? Favre?? yeah all those names get skipped over to insult and defame a young man who not only believes in God.. but does everything he can to live the life. Oh, I am sure he isn't perfect but of all the sports figures out there, this is a young man I have no problem with my children admiring..

I know he is a Christian.. and oh yeah he is HUMAN.. one day he may stumble from his convictions.. make a less than Christlike decision and then I am sure that they haters will dance with glee..

But for now.. The Broncos in a desperate need to win put Timmy in.. and oh how he has delivered. Not with glory but with grace.. ok, inner grace cuz his football is UGLY.. I love listening to everyone say oh yeah sure he's good at you know HS or college football and his style won't work in the NFL.. hey guys? It's working.. Why does it work? Because he makes those around him play better.. He inspires and elevates he has the something.. His team mates have been known to say that when he is in they just play better.. hmmmmm guess it's that intangible that broadcasters can't define.. I hope he continues to develop his skills and becomes that premier football player he should be.. but for now.. yeah I am giggling... Go Timmy

A Death

Recently on the news I saw a story about a town grieving.. a 10 year old girl came home from school.. asked her mother if she could be homeschooled.. her mother, a working mother said no... as would most of us.. the little girl went to her room.. Several hours later her sister found her in the closet, hanging from bar with a scarf wrapped around her neck.

This poor baby had had enough.. she couldn't take it anymore and decided to end her life. I saw this and just cried. Were the signs there? Did they even know what to look for? Our children are under constant daily attack.. and we are often so busy we put their complaints down to minor issues.. The little girl came home and asked if she could be homeschooled... Did the mom even know enough to ask why? If she did.. did she know the despair that her daughter was feeling? Did she understand that bullying is more than kids beating up on other kids. Yes that kind is bad BUT it is far worse, when one is battered by words.. a slow insidious drip.. at best it wears away at self esteem and does a life time of damage.. at worst.. well a 10 year old girl died..

I can't help putting myself in this mother's shoes.. Blond Girl for years had a stomach issue.. acidy stomach, heartburn.. yeah I blew it off.. turns out she has the makings of an ulcer.. For years she has had breathing and or passing out issues.. light headed.. no one even the nurses took her seriously.. turns out she has syncope.. a very real disorder..

PITA Boy got in trouble once in band for being where he wasn't supposed to be then reacting very negatively to the discipline enforced on him. I was appalled!! I read him the riot act.. turns out Word Girl had been there.. and PITA Boy was hanging out in that place to get away from a constant barrage of verbal abuse by one of the popular kids.. When I found out I went to the school and DEMANDED that this other child receive at LEAST the same punishment that my son received.. That of not being able to perform Middle School Night at the local HS.. yeah.. didn't happen.. The other Boy was a talented member of the band and a teacher fav.. He was not seen as someone who caused problems.. Bullies, real bullies, seldom are.. They have power, charisma, charm.. whatever. This other boy got to perform... the teacher tried to BAN PITA Boy from even attending.. yeah I in your faced her and pointed out.. it was a HS event and she had no power there.

I went to the Principal every day for weeks trying to get this boy punished.. according to the district's very By Laws.. there was NO TOLERANCE for bullying and there were witnesses.. Other than his sister.. of course anyone who knows Word Girl knows.. she won't put up with crap from her siblings and had no problem telling it like it is.. if they were in the wrong.. shoot if she just THOUGHT that they were in the wrong she made sure others knew it.. This boy was never even reprimanded.. He got away with it.. why? Because he was popular, charming and charismatic and PITA Boy was ADHD, stuttered and needy..

My point here is often we don't see what is happening, we don't understand the damage done and we don't fight hard enough to demand our children's rights.. Oh not the right to be in the advanced classes, when our child is at best a C student.. or not the right to make Varisity sports.. No the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Bullying is WRONG.. pure and simple.. but we need to learn just what it is and how to recognize it..

I weep for this poor baby and her family and her poor mother.. who will always wish she had taken just a little more time.. She did what probably every other mother in the world would do... and yet she lost her precious baby to despair..

Just Made Me Giggle

Saw this and had to admire the wit and the ability to put things into  a perspective that today's mind understands

Seriously?

Sandusky just totally gives me the heebie jeebies.. This is his defense? We were horsing around? On what planet is this acceptable? Sandusky.... Adult... vs 10yr old CHILD!!

I had decided to put this behind me not beat it into the ground but the man is an idiot! He needs to shut up and listen to his lawyers.. maybe they will just lock him in a hole for life that way.. otherwise someone is gonna go ballistic on him.

I am a mother of sons.. more than that, the mother of sons whose father was not in the picture.. and yes.. they found male mentors.. Paul Mackey, Andy Armentano, Dave Davis, Dave Toler... I can add more but those four were HUGE influences in my children's lives.. and not ONE OF THEM horsed around naked with them in the showers!!

Each and every one of them got it.. mentor yes.. naked shower play NO! Yes there was comradery! Yes there was goofing around! But these men knew that there were lines not to be crossed. Thank GOD!! that my boys were lucky enough to find such amazing men to show them what a REAL MAN is.

Of course there are the responsibilities of the parent.. believe me each of them knew me as well.. and there is not a doubt in any of our minds just what I would have done had they even considered betraying my trust and behaving inappropriately with my children. AND My sons knew to come to me.. there are some secrets we just don't keep!! I was not a perfect mom.. go ahead and ask my kids, I understand there is a list longer than Santa's as to what I have done wrong.. but no one and I mean NO ONE was ever going to mess with my babies..

We Got Your Back Pat

Earlier this year Univ of Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach Pat Summit announced that she had early onset dementia. Pat has done more for women's sports than any other female EVER.. yeah that may be just my opinion but when she started coaching basketball at Univ of TN.. women's sports were still an after thought..

Patricia "Pat" Head Summitt (born on June 14, 1952 in Clarksville, Tennessee) is an American women's college basketball coach. She is currently the head coach of the Tennessee Lady Vols basketball team. She is the all-time winningest coach in NCAA basketball history of either a men's or women's team in any division. She has been coaching since 1974, all with the Lady Vols, winning eight NCAA national championships, second only to the record 10 titles won by UCLA men's coach John Wooden. Summitt is the only coach in NCAA history, and one of three college coaches overall, with 1,000 victories. She was named the Naismith Basketball Coach of the Century in April 2000. In 2009, the Sporting News placed her number 11 on its list of the 50 Greatest Coaches of All Time in all sports; she was the only woman on the list. In 36 years as a coach, she has never had a losing season. (Wikidpedia)

Back when women hardly played sports let alone coached.. Pat stepped up and has changed the world of sports.. She had done it with integrity and grace.. and deserves every moment of praise she receives.. She was back on the court last night coaching her girls.. I hope to see her there for a long long time..