What is the hardest thing for you to do? For me, it's changing direction. I tend to start down some path and then I see it's getting difficult or dangerous or just wrong and instead of stopping and re evaluating, I just keep on trudging. Until I am so deep all I can do is keep going. I figure hey I must be half way through this by now.
Only trouble is, I never know how long the journey really is, so how can I determine that I am over half way there? I can't. and yet, I just keep barging on. It's painful, it's heartwrenching and yes it's demoralizing.
Finally, when I know it is probably too late to fix things.. I stop face the facts and start the long journey back. It's not a really good way to live.
Yesterday, I finally made that decision to backtrack.. I had that moment when I just decided that life is worth more than sitting in the darkness. So, I was able to face reality and move forward. Even if I had to do it in the hardest way possible. Of course this is standard operating procedure for me.
I need to stop and re evaluate.. then start over.. get my center and find a direction worth heading in.
Shauni
