ShauniSpeaks

Blog Hop

2012-01-29T09:28:00.000-06:00

So Last Friday I attempted to sign up for Friday Friends Blog Hop.. my computer was being wonky (yes that is the technical term) and refused to co operate with me. This totally irks me.. I mean aren't computers supposed to make our lives easier? Not cause more stress?

Did we really gain anything with the advent of the computer era or did we just trade one set of annoyances for another. Oh sure, we can and do connect with people all over the world. We allegedly have paperless offices and have mainstreamed our work force. BUT when our computers crash or we don't understand something we are held hostage. To a machine no less.

Back on track.. I signed up for this wonderful blog hop and then couldn't get it posted.. and I still managed to make One new friend , krystimare at Country Living Product Review.. is that cool or what? Oh yeah, all this because of computers.. guess in the end the stress caused by computers is way better than the alternative.. *grins* yeah I did have a point in there somewhere..

Shauni

Turn About is Fair Play

2012-01-27T06:52:00.003-06:00

For years the liberal media has run amuck with their ability to brainwash the American public. Making sure to gleefully destroy as much as the conservative party as possible. Highlighting mistakes to extreme degree while burying the same when a liberal does it. They would at best mention it on page 6 then move on. But if a conservative did it they, with malice aforethought attacked and attacked and attacked.. until a simple error or mispeak became a death row crime.

Don't get me wrong I am not anti liberal, in fact I feel that we need a balance of liberal and conservative no one party should ever have so much control.. but because the media has forgotten it's place to REPORT the news and prefers to MAKE the news the balance is woefully to the left.

For the entire Bush term of office they insulted, insulted, insulted.. can you think of ONE good thing that was done during the Bush era? There was some excellent stuff to come out of it.. but we never saw it.. Or wait how about the Bush daughters.. when you hear them mentioned what do you think of? I know party going co-eds who dress inappropriately and spend all their spare times in bars.. did you know that both of them served in third world countries in some format or other? One was with the Peace Corps and one worked with another not for profit organization.. AND THEY DID IT WITHOUT PRESS.. they didn't do it for the press, because goodness knows they never got any, they did it because it was right..

NOW.. it seems President Obama has been disrespected.. and I actually agree.. but what did they expect after years and years of saying it's ok to disprespect the president? It's ok to denigrate and insult? It's ok to mock him, his wife, his family and his children? It's ok... well people are paying attention and they honestly believe that it's ok.. That we have the right to insult, demean and disrespect the man who leads us.. As my grandma used to say "garbage in, garbage out" if all you have been doing is feeding our brains with your garbage.. the garbage will eventually spew forth.

You want respect? Show respect.. if you think that THIS president should be respected then respect ALL of them!! After all we are taught respect.. we aren't born with it

FaceBook's New TimeLine

2012-01-25T04:52:00.000-06:00

FaceBook has announced that starting this week they will be instigating the timeline for everyone. No longer is it user choice. Nope everyone who uses FB will eventually have this format.

I don't really have a problem with it but it has been interesting reading the posts on it. It seems people are being recommended to clean up their posts. To make sure that things they posted back in the day when they only had say 5 friends, are managed, maybe even hidden. After all you don't want a boss or future employer to see you misbehaving..

I really don't have that problem.. why? Well my mother taught me one very pertinent fact of life.. Don't air your dirty laundry in public. That means if you are doing something that may somehow prove embarrasing to you or your family don't take pictures of it.. and if you do.. DON'T post it on Facebook for pete's sake.

Another thought.. for future employers great that you use social media to check into your perspective employees.. but the things someone did as a kid should not be held against them as an adult. Kids by nature are stupid.. they do stupid things.. I did.. and I was a pretty mild child.. but I still did things that I don't want people to know about now! That was me then, this is me now. Respect that. Of course I wasn't a teenager in the age of post it and print it.. no, I was allowed to make my mistakes in the relative privacy of friends and family.

I am certainly not judging any individual who chooses to post their life online.. it's their choice.. shoot I blog about stuff that others would consider quite private.. It's my choice! But I don't post anything that I think will embarrass me later on. I consider that while I am posting.. *grins* now it might embarrass the kids but that's different

One last thing I would like to add, yes there will people who complain, who don't like it and who get mad at Facebook.. The way I see it you have three choices..

1. clean up your facebook page so nothing incriminating is posted
2. accept that facebook has every right to do what it wants with your page as it is facebook's property.. the page not the contents..
3. close your page.. delete it.. remove everything!!

All Roads Now Lead to the Superbowl

2012-01-24T11:07:00.000-06:00

I know, the playoffs are over and I haven't written about football in a few weeks. There are reasons.. First off the incredible computer crash.. That sort of made blogging a wee bit difficult.. but secondly I was just irked..

Not one of my teams made it..

First off we had to have the memorial service for the Packers.. PITA Boy went into shock.. Considered burning all his Packer Gear thinks it may be cursed now.. *rolls eyes*

Then the Saints.. what the heck? I was so surprised but I will admit was thrilled to see the 49ers go to as far as they did.. California Girl that I am (so what if I live in Chicago.. born and raised in Southern California) I was glad to see the Niners back on top..

Now, for the AFC.. seriously? Poor Timmy was crushed but what did everyone expect.. Brady plays best when he plays with a chip on his shoulder.. and come into his town.. where he has lead the Patriots to how many Superbowls? Won How many? Has been named MVP How many times? And all the media could talk about was Timmy? Yeah Tom was gonna crush him.. *grins* I still like Timmy but the Broncos were really out classed.

I was sad to see Houston loose.. I would have liked to see them go farther but you know what? They did good!!

The Ravens? I don't really know much about them.. let's see, Michael Ohr from the Blind Side plays for them and Jim Harbough's brother, John is the coach.. but I did want them to make it to the Superbowl.. I really wanted to see the Harbough bowl.. *grins*

All things considered, I am happy to see Eli stepping out from behind Peyton's shadow.. and will look forward to the game..

My pick.. well The New York Football Giants are an awesome team and I think the better, more well rounded one... BUT never ever discount the Patriots..

RIP ETTA JAMES

2012-01-20T11:07:00.000-06:00

I just liked the way this was written so I am using the post on Etta James I found on The Associated Press and written by Robert Jablon

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Etta James' performance of the enduring classic "At Last" was the embodiment of refined soul: Angelic-sounding strings harkened the arrival of her passionate yet measured vocals as she sang tenderly about a love finally realized after a long and patient wait.

In real life, little about James was as genteel as that song. The platinum blonde's first hit was a saucy R&B number about sex, and she was known as a hell-raiser who had tempestuous relationships with her family, her men and the music industry. Then she spent years battling a drug addiction that she admitted sapped away at her great talents.

The 73-year-old died at Riverside Community Hospital, with her husband and sons at her side, De Leon said.

She was one of music's original bad girls.
James' spirit could not be contained — perhaps that's what made her so magnetic in music; it is surely what made her so dynamic as one of R&B, blues and rock 'n' roll's underrated legends.

"The bad girls ... had the look that I liked," she wrote in her 1995 autobiography, "Rage to Survive." ''I wanted to be rare, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to be exotic as a Cotton Club chorus girl, and I wanted to be obvious as the most flamboyant hooker on the street. I just wanted to be."

"It's a tremendous loss for her fans around the world," he said. "She'll be missed. A great American singer. Her music defied category."

Despite the reputation she cultivated, she would always be remembered best for "At Last." The jazz-inflected rendition wasn't the original, but it would become the most famous and the song that would define her as a legendary singer. Over the decades, brides used it as their song down the aisle and car companies to hawk their wares, and it filtered from one generation to the next through its inclusion in movies like "American Pie." Perhaps most famously, President Obama and the first lady danced to a version at his inauguration ball.

The tender, sweet song belied the turmoil in her personal life. James — born Jamesette Hawkins — was born in Los Angeles to a mother whom she described as a scam artist, a substance abuser and a fleeting presence during her youth. She never knew her father, although she was told and had believed, that he was the famous billiards player Minnesota Fats. He neither confirmed nor denied it: when they met, he simply told her: "I don't remember everything. I wish I did, but I don't."

She was raised by Lula and Jesse Rogers, who owned the rooming house where her mother once lived in. The pair brought up James in the Christian faith, and as a young girl, her voice stood out in the church choir. James landed the solos in the choir and became so well known, she said that Hollywood stars would come to see her perform.
But she wouldn't stay a gospel singer for long. Rhythm and blues lured her away from the church, and she found herself drawn to the grittiness of the music.
"My mother always wanted me to be a jazz singer, but I always wanted to be raunchy," she recalled in her book.
She was doing just that when bandleader Johnny Otis found her singing on San Francisco street corners with some girlfriends in the early 1950s.
"At the time, Hank Ballard and the Midnighters had a hit with 'Work With Me, Annie,' and we decided to do an answer. We didn't think we would get in show business, we were just running around making up answers to songs," James told The Associated Press in 1987.
And so they replied with the song, "Roll With Me, Henry."

When Otis heard it, he told James to get her mother's permission to accompany him to Los Angeles to make a recording. Instead, the 15-year-old singer forged her mother's name on a note claiming she was 18.

"At that time, you weren't allowed to say 'roll' because it was considered vulgar. So when Georgia Gibbs did her version, she renamed it 'Dance With Me, Henry' and it went to No. 1 on the pop charts," the singer recalled. The Gibbs song was one of several in the early rock era when white singers got hits by covering songs by black artists, often with sanitized lyrics.

After her 1955 debut, James toured with Otis' revue, sometimes earning only $10 a night. In 1959, she signed with Chicago's legendary Chess label, began cranking out the hits and going on tours with performers such as Bobby Vinton, Little Richard, Fats Domino, Gene Vincent, Jerry Lee Lewis and the Everly Brothers.
"We would travel on four buses to all the big auditoriums. And we had a lot of fun," she recalled in 1987.
James recorded a string of hits in the late 1950s and '60s including "Trust In Me," ''Something's Got a Hold On Me," ''Sunday Kind of Love," ''All I Could Do Was Cry," and of course, "At Last."

"(Chess Records founder) Leonard Chess was the most aware of anyone. He went up and down the halls of Chess announcing, 'Etta's crossed over! Etta's crossed over!' I still didn't know exactly what that meant, except that maybe more white people were listening to me. The Chess brothers kept saying how I was their first soul singer, that I was taking their label out of the old Delta blues, out of rock and into the modern era. Soul was the new direction," she wrote in her autobiography. "But in my mind, I was singing old style, not new."

In 1967, she cut one of the most highly regarded soul albums of all time, "Tell Mama," an earthy fusion of rock and gospel music featuring blistering horn arrangements, funky rhythms and a churchy chorus. A song from the album, "Security," was a top 40 single in 1968.
Her professional success, however, was balanced against personal demons, namely a drug addiction.
"I was trying to be cool," she told the AP in 1995, explaining what had led her to try heroin.

"I hung out in Harlem and saw Miles Davis and all the jazz cats," she continued. "At one time, my heavy role models were all druggies. Billie Holiday sang so groovy. Is that because she's on drugs? It was in my mind as a young person. I probably thought I was a young Billie Holiday, doing whatever came with that."

She was addicted to the drug for years, beginning in 1960, and it led to a harrowing existence that included time behind bars. It sapped her singing abilities and her money, eventually, almost destroying her career.
It would take her at least two decades to beat her drug problem. Her husband, Artis Mills, even went to prison for years, taking full responsibility for drugs during an arrest even though James was culpable.
"My management was suffering. My career was in the toilet. People tried to help, but I was hell-bent on getting high," she wrote of her drug habit in 1980.

She finally quit the habit and managed herself for a while, calling up small clubs and asking them, "Have you ever heard of Etta James?" in order to get gigs. Eventually, she got regular bookings — even drawing Elizabeth Taylor as an audience member. In 1984, she was tapped to sing the national anthem at the Olympic Games in Los Angeles, and her career got the resurgent boost it needed, though she fought addiction again when she got hooked on painkillers in the late 1980s.

Drug addiction wasn't her only problem. She struggled with her weight, and often performed from a wheelchair as she got older and heavier. In the early 2000s, she had weight-loss surgery and shed some 200 pounds.
James performed well into her senior years, and it was "At Last" that kept bringing her the biggest ovations. The song was a perennial that never aged, and on Jan. 20, 2009, as crowds celebrated that — at last — an African-American had become president of the United States, the song played as the first couple danced.
But it was superstar Beyonce who serenaded the Obamas, not the legendary singer. Beyonce had portrayed James in "Cadillac Records," a big-screen retelling of Chess Records' heyday, and had started to claim "At Last" as her own.

An audio clip surfaced of James at a concert shortly after the inauguration, saying she couldn't stand the younger singer and that Beyonce had "no business singing my song." But she told the New York Daily News later that she was joking, even though she had been hurt that she did not get the chance to participate in the inauguration.

James did get her accolades over the years. She was inducted into the Rock Hall in 1993, captured a Grammy in 2003 for best contemporary blues album for "Let's Roll," one in 2004 for best traditional blues album for "Blues to the Bone" and one for best jazz vocal performance for 1994's "Mystery Lady: Songs of Billie Holiday." She was also awarded a special Grammy in 2003 for lifetime achievement and got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Her health went into decline, however, and by 2011, she was being cared for at home by a personal doctor.

She suffered from dementia, kidney problems and leukemia. Her husband and her two sons fought over control of her $1 million estate, though a deal was later struck keeping Mills as the conservator and capping the singer's expenses at $350,000. In December 2011, her physician announced that her leukemia was terminal, and asked for prayers for the singer.

In October 2011, it was announced that James was retiring from recording, and a final studio recording, "The Dreamer," was released, featuring the singer taking on classic songs, from Bobby "Blue" Bland's "Dreamer" to Guns N' Roses "Welcome To the Jungle" — still rocking, and a fitting end to her storied career.

Back from Oblivion

2012-01-18T22:47:00.002-06:00

This last week has been absolutely horrid for me.. I have been without a computer..

My story starts at Thanksgiving.. where my computer crashed with a particularly nasty virus.. Word Girl in an act of unexpected altruism offered to let me use hers until I got mine fixed. Her computer is pretty nifty, it was Christmas and I got busy.. so of course I didn't get mine fixed.. She was ok with it and was going to let me keep hers for a while.. UNTIL....

Last Monday, her computer got the exact same virus.. it was awful.. and let me tell you.. all of us were afraid.. very, very afraid... We devised ways to tell her.. like get the computer fixed before she got home and NOT tell her (didn't work out), tell her in the car with my friend, who was driving and taken me to pick her up (yeah, I didn't do that either...my bad). So I told her once we got in the building.. uhmm BIG MISTAKE.. I got to listen to about 4 hours of crying and temper tantrums..

Word Girl: When were you going to tell me?

Me: Hello? Isn't it obvious? I am telling you now.. I obviously waited as LONG as POSSIBLE to tell you.. *shakes head* Sheesh

Word Girl: You break everything.. I am texting Hair Boy!!

Me: *rolling eyes and mock quivering*

The next day she was ok.. and on Saturday we checked w/Best Buy to see how long it was going to take.. which btw, it was forever... which lead to another wonderful conversation...

Word Girl: I knew you would break it..

Me: *just letting her rant*

Word Girl: You break everything...

Me: Finally fed up... You know.. I have had my laptop for THREE YEARS.. and this is the first virus.. you have had yours for less than two and this is your THIRD.. I know I didn't give it the first two.. But I am pretty sure I PAID for it to be repaired..

Word Girl: *Silence*

Now, even though I did not have a computer I did have responsibilities that I was trying to fulfill. Namely my other blogs.. on Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy I was supposed to be hosting author Caris Roane.. fortunately I have some amazing partners and they did a lot of prep work.. but I tried to stay in contact.. Let me tell you this was a challenge..

I tried to use my phone for emails.. I was succesfull but that screen is really really tiny and it's not an iPhone so you can imagine how small the screen.. For actual blog access I was able to use my kindle.. NOT a Kindle Fire which was designed for web browsing.. no, regular old kindle.. You have to go into experimental then launch your browser then maybe if you are lucky you might get your page.. and if you do get it.. I guarantee it will freeze up.. you will be posting using a keyboard about the same size as the qwerty keyboard on your phone and you won't be able to access pictures, links or various other things.. and spellcheck? yeah not happening..

Honestly, half the time I felt I was communicating like this..

other times I was sure I was using his computer..

For sure I spent a lot of time doing this

But I really felt like doing this

But I have my lifeline back and all is well.. so for a while I will be doing this..

All in all it's great to be back!!

Winning

2012-01-09T00:22:00.000-06:00

Back to one of my favorite topics, football *grins* to narrow it down even further Tim Tebow.. well not really just had to say good ole, Timmy's name.. The Broncos won today and it was an awesome sight. A really good game that I seriously thought they were gonna pull a "Bears" on us and loose at the last moment after having led 20-6 at the half.

What got me about today's game is the media.. now there's a shock I know.. but the Broncos won.. pure and simple.. instead of saying the Broncos won, it was the Broncos won but.... so and so was injured, so and so didn't play, maybe a bad call or two... always qualifying that the Broncos didn't really win on merit..

Here's the thing.. years ago, a US figure skater won the national championship.. One opponent had the flu and one had a sprained ankle going in and after she won she was asked. Did she feel her title was negated by these facts? Her response is what has stayed with me for close to three decades.. she said..

"That is the nature of competition. On any given day anyone could be sick or injured and today.. I was the best.. and today is all that matters"

I can't remember who said it, I am not sure even when it was said, I only know it was sometime in the early 80's.. and yet the point remains the same..

Today the Broncos Won.. get over it newspeople..

Texas Teen Deported to Columbia Returned to States..

2012-01-07T02:34:00.000-06:00

I was surfing the net and happened upon this story about a US citizen, a 14 year old girl that was mistakenly deported to Columbia. Everyone is pointing fingers, it's the ICE's fault, it's the Columbian Government's fault.. shoot it may just be President Obama's fault (and he wasn't even there) No where in this article say this child was at best a spoiled lying brat who caused everyone undue stress and at worst a troubled young lady.

Seems she ran away from home a year ago.. was going under various alibis and was arrested for theft. When arrested she told the police that her name was Tika Lanay Cortez, a Colombian woman born in 1990. The police ran the name and came up with the information that Ms Cortez was a Columbian National here illegally. The Colombian Consul, gave her papers, set her up in programs and got her a job in Columbia. Everyone did what they were supposed to do... well everyone except the girl, who was a runaway, a theif and oh yeah a liar.

Her family found her on a fluke, she posted something really odd on a facebook account she uses under yet another name.. The Columbian Government was informed and she was brought back into the United States.. The family claims, she looks 14 and she doesn't speak Spanish how could the officials confuse her for anything but a child? Hmmmm, have you seen some of those 14yr olds out there? And this was a street smart kid.. not some innocent ripped from her parents arms and sent Columbia. She lied, she schemed and guess what? Someone called her bluff.

Now I am sure we will soon be hearing about how this family sues the governments of both the US and Columbia.. I hope when that happens someone laughs in their face..

Star Mangeled Banner

2012-01-06T04:35:00.000-06:00

This is an article near and dear to my heart.. and borrowed from

The Post Game Feel free to hop over and read it.. but here it is in it's entirety..

"O! say can you hear that?

That's the sound of national anthem singers rechecking their lyric sheets, putting their ramparts in the right place and being sure to enunciate "o'er" instead of "over" in response to an Indiana bill that would fine performers $25 for not meeting state-defined performance standards.

The bill, introduced by Indiana senator Vaneta Becker, would apply only to singers at public school and university-sponsored events, and would be dictated by guidelines instituted and enforced by the State Department of Education and the Commission for Higher Education.

Performers would be required to sign a performance contract agreeing to the department's specifications, and schools would be required to keep recordings of all renditions for two years for their review if complaints are filed.

Seriously -- two years.

Becker drafted the bill in response to a constituent's complaint about a non-traditional performance of the anthem at a local school, but stressed the bill is targeted at performers who take deliberate liberties with the song's lyrics or musical interpretation, explaining to The Indianapolis Star that it should be sung "the way that we normally have it sung or heard throughout most of our state and our country."

Indiana would not be the first bright star to bring this perilous fight to anthem signers. Massachusetts can fine citizens for using the song as dance music, an exit march or as part of a musical medley, where Michigan prohibits performing the anthem "with embellishment."

There is even a federal law (36 U.S.C. § 301) mandating that anyone in the presence of an anthem performance must "face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over the heart, and men not in uniform, if applicable, should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart."

If the bill passes, all indications are that someone like Steven Tyler would have owed $25 to the state after changing the lyrics to "the home of the Indianapolis 500" in his rendition, yet Christina Aguilera would have been in the clear for flubbing her Super Bowl performance last year.

Roseanne Barr's Padres anthem debacle in 1990 might have actually gone over without retribution given her lyrical accuracy, though her infamous crotch grab would (we hope) warrant a fine if for no other reason than it drew our attention to Roseanne Barr's crotch -- with our hands over our hearts, no less."

This has long been a pet peeve of mine.. It bothers me when I hear the National Anthem on the radio at noon, how am I supposed to stand up if I am driving a car? And why do singers feel the need to fancy it up? It is hard enough to sing as it is... and we are supposed to be able to sing our National Anthem it's not a showpiece.. Singers, just sing it.. you want to personalize a song.. do it on your own time with your own music.. this one is MINE

Girl Scouts are Turning 100

2012-01-04T22:48:00.000-06:00

I know the official birthday is not this month, but it is coming up on Cookie tiem.. and seriously when do we most think of Girl Scouts?

Wow!! 100 is that cool or what? An organization created and designed just for girls.. One that did not stay stagnant but evolved as women evolved and is still a rich, cultural organization. How cool is that? Girl Scouts unlike the Boy Scouts are rarely in the news.. you don't hear of political rumblings or them making statements..denying members or enforcing ideals.. the ideals of Girl Scouts has always been to provide an environment where today's girls (whenever today was) could learn new things, explore new ideas and meet new people.

I was so blessed with awesome girl scout leaders (ok I had one bad leader... and that was only cuz our personalities clashed and as an 8yr old I couldn't figure out why she hated me... I was of course the innocent victim.. part of me still believes this) I started in Brownies at 7, that was as young as you could be back then.. no daisies.. Mrs Armstrong was our leader and she was awesome.. she taught me about friendship and respect of an adult/child relationship that wasn't parental or teacher.. but a friendship. I met Lori Paris there and we are still friends to this day.. in 6th grade General P.. came into my life.. she was this amazing woman who was going to be the assistant leader and my mom was gonna be leader but *grins* my mom conned her into being leader and what a great decision that was for me.. as my mom and I tended to butt heads.. well not really, she said, I did.. but I had more chances to become me with other leaders.. In Cadettes I had the Mr See yes a MAN leader.. boy was that a huge deal back in 1976.. Of course it had 52 girls and was an active, physical group.. not your mother's girls scout troop.. but he graduated when I was in 8th grade and I then got the single best leader and mentor and friend a girl could ask for Grace Russell!! OH MY GOSH!! This woman totally rocked!

I won't go crazy explaining her to you just let you know how very special she was to me.. of course I also got her daughter Colleen Couron Smith, as well. Colleen and I are friends to this day.. Mostly via facebook as she is off having adventures and I am here raising kids.. But Lori and Colleen were not my only friends from Girl Scouts, I was also blessed to share my time with Judy Biggs.. the best non sister a girl could have..

I didn't stop in Cadettes I went all the way through Seniors and racked up badges, awards, patches anything I could.. I loved it.. and one of the things I did was sell Girl Scout Cookies... people when those girls hit you up this year.. think of me, buy a box.. I never turn a girl scout down.. I always buy at least one box.. yeah I go broke but hey, the kids love it!!

As the year progresses I will talk more on Girl Scouts.. but for now..just think 100 years.. WOW

Saw this Today.. it is Just Awful

2012-01-03T17:43:00.001-06:00

The most memorable rejection of the UCLA basketball season happened in the stands rather than on the court.

Midway through a 71-63 victory over Richmond Dec. 23 at the Honda Center in Anaheim, UCLA's "Mistletoe Cam" cut to a couple seated courtside. The man reaches into his pocket, pulls out a ring and says, "I knew that I was going to do this since the first day that I met you, and I figured now was as good a time as any." His girlfriend's response when he gets down on one knee and pops the question? Well, let's just say it involved an awkward pause and running in the other direction.

Wow and I thought every girl new.. proper etiquette is you accept the ring then break it off later. Don't humiliate the poor guy. You like him enough to date him

A FANtastic Football Day!

2012-01-03T14:01:00.000-06:00

WOW!! What a day for those who love college football.. Every game I watched went down to the wire, overtime and TRIPLE overtime.. for anyone who loves a good game and didn't see these you seriously missed it..

The Outback Bowl

I don't usually watch this game but I was waiting for the Rose Bowl to come on and I was bored so I tuned in. Boy was I glad I did! This game was so intense, so amazing and so absolutely wild I thought it was going to be the highlight of the day. Blond Girl and I were practically riveted to it. Although, I will admit I wanted her to change to the start of the Rose Bowl. She looked at me and said.. "Mom, seriously triple overtime and you want to change the freakin channel? What planet are you on?" a most valid question... I was so happy to see Michigan State win!! This was just an exciting validation to what is a wonderful program.

The Rose Bowl

What can I say? I was raised on this game.. it is the highllight of my new years.. aren't you supposed to sit around the tv eating black eyed peas and cornbread on New Year's day? *grins* I have been an Oregon fan for a few years now.. love their snazzy uniforms and their even snazzier playing. They have really amped up the USC league.. I mean the PAC 10 er 12... And again this game did not disappoint!! The game went right down to the wire ending sadly with poor clock planning.. but with Wisconsin just short of the win. Now I felt a little bad cuz I like Wisconsin.. it's really one of the few Big 10 teams that I like so I did feel bad for them but I was thrilled with Oregon.. it has been a long time coming.

The Fiesta Bowl

The only game I was upset about.. and it wasn't the game itself.. It was that poor Andrew's Luck ran out.. This poor young man with his amazing record lost on a field goal.. ok two missed field goals.. Stanford had a chance to win but missed the field goal and had to go into overtime.. where they again missed a field goal. Luck was perfect!! He literally played a prefect game with amazing numbers. Any other game, these numbers would have had him hoisting the trophy but instead.. he had to watch another do so. Don't feel too bad Andrew.. you will probably going to play for Peyton,, er I mean the Colts, and Peyton Manning never won a bowl game until the Super Bowl...

I know the Championship game between LSU and Alabama should be another good game but I feel it is going to be anti climactic.. how can you top this day of great games? Well if Alabama wins but seriously who thinks that?

Rose Parade!!

2012-01-02T04:34:00.000-06:00

I grew up in Southern California.. and to anyone from Southern California New Year's Day means ONE Thing (and no it's not the Rose Bowl)!! It means ROSE PARADE.. or more properly the Tournament of Roses Parade! This is such an awesome parade they named a football bowl after it!!

Every year on New Year's day (except when New Year's falls on Sunday) millions of people gather to watch the parade.. and honestly that's just on the streets of Pasadena, let alone those who watch it in TV. In our house, it's an almost sacred tradition.

Now in the Midwest, we get HORRID TV coverage of it and the paraded gets cut off for various football games.. yeah can you believe it? But in California the parade actually loops all day long on some channels. Missed it the first time? No Problem it will be on again and again and again.. Of course today's commentators are such idiots they think we want to know about them, their kids, their opinions, their dogs, anything but the Parade which may be why viewing has been so bad over the past few years. *sigh* I will be forced to listen to Al Roker again this year and watch them NOT talk about the floats or the parade..

What people just don't realize is the precise planning and detail that is involved in each float. It takes hours and hours and hours of time to meticulously place each individual seed, every single part of the float MUST be covered in some sort of plant material. Do you get what that means? It is an awe inspiring process. I was lucky enough to work on the parade when I was in HS and College and loved every minute of it.

My children grew up watching the parade with me and when Word Girl was about 8 or 9 she started asking if she could go out and work on the parade. When she was in the 8th grade she finally got the opportunity. My mom brought both Word Girl and PITA Boy out to do it. She went back two years later with a friend. Blond Girl has wanted to go for years but things keep interrupting her plans. But I am thinking she will get there eventually. It is a great tradition and something I think everyone should do if they get the chance!

This year no one is working it.. although Word Girl is out in California but we will still sit and watch the parade and yell at the stupid commentators and oooo and ahhhh at the gorgeous floats.. Even if it is a day late.

Happy New Year's ALL!!

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T19:23:00.000-06:00

When I was a child, my grandma told me.. oh you have a babysitting job on New Year's eve.. that is wonderful!! She then said there was an expression that went something like.. whatever you are doing on New Year's Eve you will be doing all year long.. which meant.. cool you are working so you will have work all year..

The trouble is, that saying has stuck with me my entire life.. and every New Year's I struggle with it. If I am alone I go into a depression.. worried that I will be alone for the rest of the year.. If I am unemployed, I worry that I will not have a job... see the problem?

Yes I know this was just a silly saying that Grandma said to me that was meant to encourage but nutcase that I am... somewhere, I took it deep into my heart and it comes out every New Year.. I am thrilled that the kids all have plans.. that means they will have plans and be surrounded by friends and or family for the entire year of 2012!!

Me I am here, working on my websites and chatting w/some authors that I have meant online.. now this might sound depressing but I have this theory.... I have been chatting w/some authors to help build up our base on Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy. So that is exciting to me, says our site will continue to grow!! And by chatting with the Authors it is opening up new areas for me. I am not suffering from some grand delusion but it seems to me that life is heading in an interesting new direction... Not sure WHAT direction but 2012 has such potential.. now let's just hope the world doesn't end in December cuz that would really suck.. You know, get something new and exciting going on in my life... then the world ends.. *grins*

But seriously, everyone.. have a HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

2011 A Year in Books at Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy

2011-12-31T11:11:00.000-06:00

Wonder what We found to be the best books of 2011? After much hair pulling and head banging (our own not each other's) we have made our decisions Come to Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy and find out!

Here is hoping you have a happy New Year full of laughter, love and NEW BOOKS!!

A Conversation on Twitter Reminded me...

2011-12-30T17:39:00.002-06:00

I have a Twitter and blog friend Amanda from Parnanormal Romance Novels We chat both on my twitter account as me @Shauni_46 and on my account for Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy @Bodice_Rippers and have had some very indepth discussions in 144 characters or less. Yeah I know hard to believe. So she brought up how cute it was to see a man in the romance section at the bookstore.. and it reminded me

Years ago, my ex used to buy me books.. now let me explain the man was the absolute WORST gift giver in the world. Oh he sorta kinda tried but he never got it.. like he would be out buying, gas, beer, groceries..whatever and think hey.. maybe I could get Shauni a treat so invariably he would come home with either Rocky Road Ice Cream or a Three Muskateers Bar.. kudos for the thought. Now, it's not that I dislike either of those things but they are not my favorites.. they are HIS.. One year he got me this HUGE stereo system for Christmas, he paid well over a thousand dollars for it in say 1988 so it was a pretty penny. The problem? I would have been happy with a transistor radio as I am not huge music fan, um he is.. Yeah his solution is to buy what he would like cuz well he liked it so obviously I would too. Now enough background.

He used to buy me books.. and as I have stated many times I love Romance Books.. but I am very very picky. I have preferences.. I like PNR but hate traditional Vampire. I like sensual but erotic or graphic sex bores me. I like when a woman has choices but bed hoping turns me off.. Of course he didn't know any of this.. he would bring me home a romance book.. you know pick one off the shelf and then not understand why I didn't read it. It took me years to explain (and I am still not sure that he gets it) that there are different authors, subgenres all that stuff.. ph yeah did I mention I prefer reading books by authors who actually knew how to form a sentence? I finally used music, his one true love to explain. I said how would you feel if Eric Clapton came out with a new CD and I bought you Motley Crue? I mean they are both music CD's what's the difference? I think he almost saw the light.

With that particular background whenever I see a man in the Romance Section I try really hard to offer help. I smile, kinda browse around, make myself available, make eye contact.. then eventually just ask do you need some help? I must admit it is just plain funny. The scenarios usually go something like this.

Me: Can I help you?

Poor Guy: Well my wife likes romance and I wanted to get one for her...

Me: Well, what does she like?

Poor Guy: I just told you Romance?

Me: Yes, I know but Paranormal, Urban, Mystery, Historical *grins* and of course Historical has all those time periods, Time Traveling, Scotland??

By this time his eyes have glazed over and true panic has set in...

Poor Guy: But, but, but..... there is all that?

Me: Does she have a favorite author?

Poor Guy: Um, well, sure...

Me: OK, who?

Poor Guy: Um... (he is sweating now and starting to look a little green)

Me: Well try this one (Hands him a Nora Roberts Book) Always a safe bet.. but may I suggest that you get a piece of paper and start writing down her favorite authors, keep it with you.. Books are like.. Music (yes I learned) there are all different types of genres even within the main genre..

Poor Guy: Gee thanks lady... I don't know what I would have done without you but my wife is sure gonna be happy...

There is no guarantee about that but I have to think wow.. he made and effort.. and I hear all you ladies out there who read about the ice cream, three muskateers and wrong books.. he did try.. he wasn't all bad.. *grinsi

Spirit Bound, A Review

2011-12-29T01:53:00.001-06:00

I just posted this review at Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy If you enjoyed this review please stop by and see what else we have going on

Being an avid fan of Christine Feehan makes one understand the uniqueness of her talent. Ms Feehan has an amazing ability to write about her characters instead of shoveling them into her style of writing. It is a gift that continues to astound me. Sometimes she will write a book that I find boring, insipid or even just uninteresting, then I will really look at the characters and I realize it’s not the book... I know why write about such characters? Well because they are pivotal to the main arc and others might enjoy their stories and most importantly Ms Feehan needs to write them. When I read such a book I usually place it aside only to be re read if I am reading the entire series in order. Spirit Bound is not such a book.. Ms Feehan has eclipsed herself in this book.

I love words, absolutely love words.. there are so many wonderful words, some that slip silently off your tongue, others that virtually dance on air. Words that hurt and words that heal.. Words that bring a character to life and other words that kills the plot. The ability to mix together the proper words is what a writer focuses on. How does she bring her characters to life? How does she show us their world, share with us their life’s journey? When done right.. oh the joy we receive. In Spirit Bound.. Ms Feehan does it oh so right!! Ms Feehan, continues her Sisters of the Heart Series.. about a group of unique women who have survived individual tragedy and come out stronger.. They find each other in therapy and form a tight circle, creating their own family.. literally Sisters of the Heart. We were introduced to these women in Water Bound and had a taste of their individual talents in Spirit Bound we see a little bit more of each of them and they definitely make fascinating secondary characters and I will look forward to learning each of their stories. While I enjoyed Water Bound it had a bland feel to it.. it was too regimented and contained of course Rikki, the heroine of the book was autistic and as I stated in my opening paragraph Ms Feehan writes her books around her characters. Rikki needed bland and regimented but in Spirit Bound we focus on Judith. Who is anything but bland!! She is vibrant and alive and filled with color. Ms feehan brings her to life completely!

In Spirit Bound we meet Stefan Prakenskii the third Prakenskii brother to have a story. He is deep undercover ready to continue his life in the shadows.. knowing that is all his life can ever be, gray and dismal, bleak but he has a purpose. He is driven to remove as much of the truly evil element from the world as possible. To take them down as he hides his true self deep within, knowing eventually the man he is will destroy the man he could be. All he clings to is the love he has for the brothers he barely remembers. When his assignment parallels a threat to Lev, one of his brothers he leaps to defend Lev and complete the assignment by any means possible.

While in prison, pretending to be an upper echelon thug, trying to get close to Crime Lord, Boss, Resident Evil extraordinaire, Jean-Claude La Roux; Stefan has the opportunity to study Judith. As his target is completely and totally obsessed with her. Years ago Jean-Claude met and fell in love with a young artist whose innocence and beauty shines through the very pictures on the wall. Calling out to not only Jean-Claude but Stefan as well. As his assignment leads him to Sea Haven and Judith and Lev, Stefan creates an entire new persona to infiltrate the town.

Judith, a beautiful woman with a tormented past. Years of self recrimination forces her to attempt to control her gift. She compartmentalizes parts of herself forcing herself to remain calm and focused and never letting herself feel anything in the extreme and certainly never the negative emotions (For all you Nalini Singh readers out there it reminded me of how the Psy removed all emotions and created the alter netmind.. ) While this allows her to heal from the debilitating grief caused from her past, it also destroys parts of her very being. Even her art has changed... less of her joie de vivre shines through. And always an aura of sadness wraps itself around her. To the extent that instead of rejoicing in the life she has created she spends many hours hiding in the dark, creating a room of revenge. Ms Feehan delighted me while introducing both Judith and the room with the following passage

“DARK purples swirling with black lines moved across the high cobalt ceiling, weeping crystalline tears. With so much sorrow filling the room, floor to ceiling, simple stone and wood could barely contain the intensity of emotion. Sorrow lived and breathed. Rage moved in the walls, breathing in and out, so that the slashes of red and orange undulated, bulging outward and then pressing back, great gulps of air to control the force of anger, the need for retribution, for vengeance. Rage lived and breathed alongside sorrow there in the spacious confines of the large, dark studio. A breeze drifted in from the open French doors leading to the patio and backyard where great grasses obscured all view of the studio from outside, teasing at the flames flickering at the tip of each of the dark candles illuminating the paintings. The dancing light caught glints of jagged glass embedded in the dark, angry paintings. Bold, red Japanese characters wept out a single name—Paul Henderson.” *Spirit Bound Chapter 2

When Judith and Stefan meet it is instant attraction and Ms Feehan creates a relationship that sizzles with sensuous delight. It is a fast paced and unlikely relationship and yet completely believable. You, understand their almost compulsion like need for each other. Stefan, for the first time in his life finds it impossible to remain in character and parts of his real self keep revealing themselves to Judith. Judith begins to trust, really trust for the first time in years.. and as Stefan gradually reveals more and more of himself she falls deeper in love.

The necessary evil in this book is two tiered and most excellently combined. Stefan has to learn how to rely on Levi and how to trust Judith. He doesn’t quite get the concept of total honesty and Levi, the younger brother, is the one to show him the way. I liked the way the brothers interact and renew their relationship. In a way forging new ties.. with the childhood as a foundation. We do get to spend a teeny bit of time with Jonas and we see Aleksandr as the interesting and intriguing man that he is. Both Levi and Stefan recognize him for the predator he was originally written as. Which I enjoyed immensely as in the last few Drake novels, Ilya comes to power and Aleksandr comes off as the red headed step child. It’s nice to remember that he too is a dangerous man. What I didn’t like, is once again we didn’t get to see Ilya as he is off on a prolonged honeymoon with Joley. I want that reunion!!

True to form, Ms Feehan leaves enticing threads just dangling.. teasing us with what is going to happen farther along in the story arc. I can't wait for you all to read this book so we can discuss what is happening...

I will promise you this.. as far as I am concerned this was one of Ms Feehan’s BEST books! Her characters are passionate, loyal, driven and totally perfect just as they are. I rarely give a five star review as that needs to be with held for the best of the best but believe me, this one earns all five stars.

Shauni

This is Just TOO Fun

2011-12-28T15:00:00.001-06:00

I always said that if I marry again, the ceremony would be a fun one.. Something to enjoy and maybe goof off a little. Like dancing down the aisle or when asked who gives this woman my children would all stand up and say we do and it's about time.. or finally get her off our hands.. or maybe just a hop to Vegas and an Elvis Impersonator.. not sure but fun!!

I love how this bride chose to incorporate her favorite soccer team into her wedding dress!!

Manchester City are no slouches when it comes to peddling merch: sky blue toothbrushes, gnomes and electric guitars are just some of the random garish nonsense available at the club shop. One area where the club's marketeers have missed a trick, however, is bridal wear. When 38-year-old City fan Karen Bell (presumably no relation to Manchester legend Colin Bell) decided to tie the knot with fellow Citizen Simon, she snubbed the traditional white wedding dress and got creative with some of his old jerseys. The Manchester Evening News reports:

"We wanted to do something different because we have both been married before." Karen spent three weeks at a sewing machine armed with a collection of Simon's Blues shirts from the 80s and onwards.
"It was a labour of love," she said. "I was at the sewing machine six nights a week."

After the ceremony, when most couples might put themselves on a plane pointed towards a luxurious beach resort, Karen and Simon headed straight to the Etihad Stadium, where they watched Kun Aguero and co. put three past Stoke.

Considering it's made of brightly colored sports garments collected over the past 30 years, it actually looks reasonably tasteful. But the look of the dress isn't the entire point: what greater display of commitment is there than for a man to sacrifice his entire collection of beloved football jerseys? *Dirty Tackle, Yahoo Sports

Crazy New Holidays

2011-12-27T22:57:00.002-06:00

Chrismukkah

( R. Foreman / Fox )

Date: Holiday season on and around Dec. 25. Eight days of presents followed by one day with a lot of presents.

Origin: The blending of Christmas and Hanukkah, celebrated by kids with one Jewish and one Christian parent, was popularized by a 2003 episode of the teen drama series "The O.C." Though the actual practices are hazy, decorations include the display of a Christmas tree and a menorah and there's the Christmas Day tradition of staying in to eat Chinese takeout and watch movies such as "Fiddler on the Roof" and "It's a Wonderful Life."

This just made me giggle and seemed season appropriate.. there is are a lot of new holidays I need to read up on.. Will keep you all posted

Winner Over at Bodice Rippers!!

2011-12-26T11:39:00.002-06:00

Congratulations to Christmas Give Away Winner FRAN! She wins a copy of Lisa Kleypas' Christmas at Friday Harbor. *runs around tossing confetti and blowing horns* CONGRATULATIONS FRANNIE!!

Be sure make sure you make Bodice Rippers a must go to location in the new year.. who knows what we have planned? Well, I do and Sandy does.. and oh yeah Barb too.. but who else knows? *grins* yeah I am a nut, I just can't help myself!!

and What's going on today? Well... its MONDAY so you know what that means? IT'S MANCANDY TIME

and later, Sandy is posting a Mailbox Monday for your enjoyment..

From Our House to Yours

2011-12-25T04:11:00.001-06:00

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas

And Peace on Earth this Christmas Day, and hopefully for all the days following

Shauni

A Special Christmas Give Away

2011-12-23T18:37:00.002-06:00

For any of you that are interested in Romance Books we are having a give away of Lisa Kleypas' Christmas at Friday Harbor, over at Bodice Rippers.. All you have to do is join the site as a member and send an email to bodiceripperstrivia@yahoo.com... to be entered. On Christmas night a winner will be chosen in the perfectly random manner of drawing a name from a hat.. or some such thing.

Only residents of Canada and the US are eligible...

A Special Christmas Treat!! As part of Lisa's Divas We get some fun stuff!! This week in the mail I received some copies of Lisa Kleypas' Christmas Eve at Friday Harbor. The prologue to her new Friday Harbor Series.. The next book Rainshadow Road will be out in February! Christmas in Friday Harbor is a sweet book about family coming together trying to do what's right for an orphaned niece..

Publishers Weekly
"Kleypas (Love in the Afternoon) finds a little romantic magic in this spritely charmer. Mark Nolan's happy-go-lucky bachelorhood is interrupted by the death of his sister and his subsequent guardianship of her six-year-old daughter, Holly, who is traumatized into muteness and desperately seeking a maternal figure. Enter Maggie Collins, a toy shop owner who lost her own husband to cancer. As the holiday season draws closer, Maggie, Mark, and Holly begin to spend more time together, and Maggie and Mark's attraction becomes too powerful to ignore. Kleypas's holiday offering is sweet, romantic, and genuine, and avoids, thankfully, all the cheesy holiday miracle clichés. A solid romance with strong leads, this is a refreshing holiday treat."

Romantic Times
"Kleypas can do no wrong. If you want a fantastic read, pick up this poignant, heartbreaking and deeply satisfying book. Kleypas has a knack for making readers cry, laugh and cheer--often within the first couple of pages."
Annette Elton

And because Lisa was so cool to me.. I am passing this on to you!! All you have to do to have a chance at winning is make sure you are a follower of our site.. and send an email to Bodiceripperstrivia with the words Lisa Divas in your subject line...We will choose a random name from there and one lucky winner will be extending Christmas because she/he will get their present in the near future.. That's it.. no quiz, no knowledge of the author.. just passing on a thank you..

This contest will close at Midnight Christmas Night.. CST..

Hope you all have a healthy and happy Christmas..

The Rules of the Contest

1 1. You must be a member of Bodice Rippers to be eligible for ALL contests.

2. If you are not a member, go Bodice Rippers and click JOIN THIS SITE and set up a blogger account.

(here are the steps needed to join...
On the left hand column below the twitter link you will see the word Followers if you do not see a bunch of little square avatars.. then you need to refresh until you do..
Once you see that you should also see a button that says join this site.. click on it and follow the steps.. You need to join PUBLICLY.. as privately will not let us see you and we won't know that you have joined.
Once you have joined.. make sure you hit done.. I know such a simple step but I heard from others who skipped this part.... so I am including it in the instructions.. Once you are finished let us know.. and we will make sure. .. )

3. Submit your name via email with Lisa's Divas in the subject line to: bodiceripperstrivia@yahoo.com

Another Choice for Above and Beyond

2011-12-23T14:25:00.000-06:00

Hector Chacon, a Guatemalan firefighter dressed as Santa Claus, rappels down the Belize bridge in Guatemala City December 18, 2011, to give toys to children living in the neighbourhoods under the bridge. Guatemalan firefighters have been giving toys in the Christmas period to children living in the very poor area of the city for 13 years, according to Chacon. (REUTERS/Jorge Dan Lopez)

It's always nice to see when people just get it right!! We are so very blessed in this country, we forget that there are so many that would think our poorest of poor are wealthy beyond measure.. The thoughtfulness and tradition that these firemen are displaying proves that yes there really is a Santa Clause

Talk About a Class Act!

2011-12-21T11:09:00.000-06:00

I love to read about people living up to their responsibilities.. to find that there are people out there who have been given much... and understand that much is expected of them!! Here is a story about San Fransisco 49ers member, Braylon Edwards...

Braylon Edwards gave 79 students $10,000 for college

By Chris Chase

At 22 college campuses across the country, there are 79 students who may not otherwise be there if not for the generosity of Braylon Edwards.

As a Cleveland Browns rookie in 2005, Edwards announced he'd give $10,000 in scholarships to 100 area eighth graders if they could graduate high school with over a 2.5 GPA and 15 hours community service. Of the 100 who were afforded the opportunity, 79 met the criteria and have begun their first year of college. Many are attending Ohio universities, but the schools represented spread across the country and include Harvard, Cornell and Johns Hopkings.

"Without this scholarship, I probably wouldn't be here," Bowling Green freshman David Gholston told ESPN's Rick Reilly.

Edwards and his mother developed the Advance 100 program as a way to give back. The way they saw it, they were blessed with Edwards' football abilities and felt the need to help out others with their good fortune. Though they didn't expect so many of the students to fit the criteria (only half of Cleveland public school students graduate high school), Edwards didn't shy away from his commitment. In fact, he increased it.

The 79 students were provided with laptops and other supplies to help them out when they arrived on campus.

"I'm supposed to give people a chance like I was given a chance," Edwards said.

Edwards hasn't played for the Browns in two years. He's a member of the San Francisco 49ers this season and is earning a $1 million base salary for the year, just about what he'll pay the those 79 students he promised to help years ago.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-21T02:06:00.000-06:00

If he would have just asked for directions....

Seriously?

2011-12-19T11:09:00.001-06:00

I am seriously confused! I live in the Chicago area... you know home of Da Bears? Yesterday they were humiliated by the Seattle Seahawks. Our offense was pathetic, our best receiver was injured.. in a way that could be life altering.. he is having back surgery today and we all know what that means. Oh sure he is expected to recover and play again but still BACK SURGERY. Last week one of our players was arrested because he wanted to become the top drug dealer in the Chicago land area... and what is the top sports news? Tim Tebow lost...

Not only is that the top news of the day... it's said with glee... he is obviously not the chosen one after all. Ha ha.. he is a looser.. I don't get it. He actually played well and his team fell apart around him.. as opposed to him falling apart and his team held it together. It doesn't matter either way.. It's the malicious glee.. It's the fact that the media wants him to fail in the worst way. It's the fact that a decent hard working Christian Male is slammed... constantly.. He doesn't force his beliefs on the rest of the world.. he just stands by them, tries to live up to them.. He is a good and decent man who works really really hard!!

Here we finally have a sports figure that SHOULD be used as a role model and the media is too busy gleefully tearing him down.. He goes to work early and stays late. He prepares for his job relentlessly, watches tapes.... does everything he can to get better at his job and all we hear is he is a looser... he will never make it.. he has no chance.. hmmmm... WOW!!!

Please let's fall at the feet of the Michael Vick's and the Sam Hurds or wait DONTE STOLLWORTH.. he KILLED A MAN!! While driving drunk, he hit a man in a crosswalk and the man died.. Mr Stollworth got 30 days in jail... and is still playing in the NFL.. or how about Braylon Edwards? hmmm 9 days wonder all..

It isn't that I am not a fan of redemption it's just that I resent the desire to tear down a young man who wants nothing more than to do his best, works hard, behaves in a respectful manner and doesn't complain... and then make heroes of these inferior men. How messed up are we? To be so confused? To think that Tim Tebow is bad? That he is lacking? Someone is... I just don't think it's Timmy...

Demon Possesion (Shadow Quest Book 1) , A Review

2011-12-19T03:06:00.000-06:00

As I may have stated a time or two I have this wonderful site called Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy that I work on with two amazing ladies... I may be a tad biased but I think it is a pretty awesome site.. go ahead, check it out... We have so much stuff going on over there and I read so very fast, sometimes there isn't room for my reviews.. So I decided to post an occasional review here! One of the initial reasons I started this blog so that I would be able to write reviews... *Grins* yeah I know any reason to give my opinions...

This Review of Demon Possesion is actually posted at Bodice Rippers feel free to check it out.. But I decided to post it here as well..

Special thanks to my friend Kimmie over at GoodReads for having this book on her TBR List. Since I started snagging books from her, I have found some really great ones!

Demon Possession is book 1 in Kiersten Fay's Shadow Quest Series and I must say.. Finally!!! A new premise!! Set mostly aboard the space ship Maradas in deep space. It’s a story of greed, revenge, salvation and redemption, oh yeah and finding love especially when you aren’t looking for it, don’t want it and would really rather live without it.. On Ms Fay’s website she describes The Shadow Quest Series as “her steamy romance series called Shadow Quest, based loosely on mythology and lore, with a little sci-fi thrown in”. I don’t usually use quotes from an author’s website but this tickled me and it was incredibly accurate.

Analia has no clue who she is, all she knows is she looks different than any species she has ever heard of and has some wicked freaky powers that others have been known to kill for. Alone, with nothing but vague memories and the occasional delusion she has been kept chained, starved, tortured and abused for centuries all she wants is freedom. When the chance for escape comes she takes it.. fearing every step of the way. Sneaking aboard the closest ship, she stows away thinking to escape at their next stop. After weeks of starvation and months of near starvation she has used her last bit of energy to make it aboard the Maradas before crawling into the nearest cubby and collapsing.

Sebastion is a demon from a destroyed planet. What little that is left of is people are either enslaved or scattered but he is blessed to have both his brother and his sister with him as well as a hodge podge of others who have drifted to his service over the years. Captain of the merchant ship Maradas, he has accepted a unique cargo that must be delivered with no stops between accepting and deliverance. No one on, No one off.. A stubborn, sexy, loyal demon all he wants is the right to survive.

Once Sebastian finds Analia, several weeks into the trip... sparks fly! He is wildly attractive to his little stow away and has no clue what to do with her. She is used to being abused whenever it strikes the fancy of her former “Master” she is terrified by Sebastian's very strength.. and yet she is drawn to him and the wonderful world he introduces her to. Ms Fay, does a wonderful job describing just how someone who has never seen anything, would react. To her joyful pleasure at seeing and waving to a child to her decadent response to chocolate, Ms Fay’s writing was a sensuous delight.

Analia is what I would call a pure character.. in spirit and action.. She has depths of rage and anger but no malice.. All she wants is to be free and it really is wonderful watching this amazing character evolve into a position of strength, drawing Sebastian’s cast of characters into her circle of friendship. It isn’t long before she is the very heart of the ship.

Sebastian and Analia must deliver the package and escape from the man who would enslave her. Who bargained with a betrayer and took her from her family. Along the way, they learn what depth one will go to, to save love. They also, find trails that lead to Analia’s mysterious past and find that their enemies are the same.

A powerful book of acceptance.. Sebastian must accept that Analia will not betray him and Analia must accept Sebastian with her very self.. her inner core of power. I really enjoyed this book, it pulls at the imagination and makes you wonder, what if...

Shauni

Celebrate Tuesdays!!

2011-12-18T03:35:00.001-06:00

Yes, I know it's Sunday

A while ago I read a book and I am not sure who wrote it.. It could have been Nora Roberts or Jayne Ann Krentz both amazing authors.. But who wrote it doesn't really matter. What matters is this one phrase.. Celebrate Tuesdays

The leads were working on an ad campaign (about wine I think which is why it leads me to believe this was NR's The Villa) and they wanted to say hey, sit back have relax and have a glass of wine.. for no particular reason.. Celebrate Tuesdays.. Enjoy what you have!!

I forget that!! All the time and yet Celebrate Tuesdays is one of the quotes I often repeat in my head. Yes, I am carry around a handful of quotes from my favorite books that kinda declare who I am..

Quotes like..

What have I got in my pocket?

Do you like my hat?

and .....

Some animals are more equal than others...

and to add to those illustrious three.. Celebrate Tuesdays!!

I am one who always tries to top things.. I have silent competitions with myself.. to see if I can win.. that's not so bad but I can be a sore looser.. *grins* I forget that sometimes others put their sweat and tears into something and they too would just like to Celebrate Tuesdays!! I am working hard on remembering!!

oh yeah just for the heck of it.. does anyone know where my three favorite quotes came from?

Shauni

Wanted, Square Holes

2011-12-17T02:09:00.000-06:00

So, I was out Christmas Shopping tonight, There I was walking the mall, seeing all the happy smiling faces.. all the families out getting pictures done, listening to what they had planned for the holidays. It was a very nice night and yet.. I felt so out of the loop.. It was like I just didn't fit in the picture. I felt like someone was going to start singing, "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong". I felt like the proverbial Square Peg trying to squeeze into a round hole..

Then I started thinking.. if the stupid pegs need to go into a round hole, why do they make them square? Hello, maybe they should change the stupid shape of the hole! Or stop making square pegs! I have been different my entire life.. I know, I always have.. Oh, I try and fit in, but I don't.

And, it's not my imagination... I think I was two when I started hearing from my mom how I had to move out when I was 18. yeah I was ok with that.. I didn't fit.. my family has these huge reunions, oh I am welcome, even wanted but you know, no one actually invites me.. It isn't about not being liked it's about not fitting in. I always seem to see things differently. I am emotional and insecure..

Over the years, I have learned to keep most things contained.. but doing that damages me.. yeah so, maybe all the round holes are happy but I am miserable.. So today, while I was walking through the mall... I smiled at all the round holes and just laughed.. I decided that honestly, round holes bore me.. I am off to find the square ones...

I can't change who I am and frankly, I resent people who expect me to... It's like, the way I was made isn't good enough for them.. I can't be angry at them, they can no more help being a round hole than I can being a square peg... I just know that this square peg is tired of the round holes expecting me to make it work.. it takes two.. if you want me.. ok, if not, let me go.. quit trying to make me what you want..

I have actually, removed myself from some family relationships.. and for the first time in many many years, like EVER, there is a lightness to me.. I can't let someone's disappointment in me hurt, if I don't talk to them. Yeah, some I have to talk to but I don't have to initiate contact.. I can just wait for them. Enjoy when they condescend to talk to me and go on about my business.. They can feel like they have met their obligations and I can have days, weeks, sometimes even months of peace.. WIN/WIN.. I don't have to worry about failing to meet their expectations.. why? because I stopped trying.

I know this is not very Christmasy.. but in a way it is.. I can accept others better because I refuse to allow them to hurt me.. Go ahead, be a round hole.. be happy... I can't be, I never have been and frankly, those darn holes are boring!!

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!!

2011-12-16T16:09:00.000-06:00

New attorneys for sleazeball Jerry Sandusky have come up with this defense.. He was teaching them how to shower.. showing them how to put soap on their bodies? Seriously? Please, raise your hand if you even remotely think this is conceivable.

Honestly? This was a grown man who was alive during the age of child molestation? Sure it has happened since the dawn of time.. but in my lifetime it has come to light as the horrid abuse that it is.. for at least the last 30 years we have been taught that we don't have to accept anything that we find uncomfortable... even if it just seems iffy..

I have actually refused to let a man drive teenage girls home without another adult in the car with him... Not because I had any qualms about the man.. but because I understand today's society.. all it takes is one word and a person can be ruined.. if not legally, then via the media and public opinion.. Since that is the case.. wouldn't someone who lead an entire charity be aware of just how cautious he should be? Honestly, would he not understand that he must appear as Ceasar's wife, above reproach? Would he not understand that however innocent such actions might be he can not even appear to do wrong? And believe me Jerry buddy, this "appeared" to be wrong...

The man is an idiot.. there is no defense and every time he opens his mouth... well.....

OCD and the Every Day Life

2011-12-14T20:43:00.000-06:00

I have never considered myself a neat freak.. seriously, there are those who have classified me as domestically challenged. Don't get me wrong.. I KNOW how to clean a house.. I know how to make it so clean you can eat off the floors and brush your teeth from the toilet water.. and never feel like ewwwwwwwwwwwwww... not that I ever have cuz, well EWWWWWWWWW!! But my mother is such a neat freak all her pencils go the same way in her pencil drawer.. and that was while raising four children.. Or here's one, she combs the fringe on her rugs.. (note to all, just asked what grandma's rugs were called as in Oriental or Arabian and blond girl responded ANNOYING)... Honestly though, if the kids, including my now 4 yr old nephew mess up the fringe.. they have to comb it so it lays right. Every single one of us have learned to STEP OVER the fringe while walking. As a child, I would sometimes come home to all my underwear dumped into the middle of the room, why? Cuz it hadn't been folded right in my drawer.. seriously? There is a right way to fold underwear?

I have always been considered the messy one, now how messy can a person get when her underwear drawer gets dumped out? So I have no idea how they formed that conclusion when I was little, but I will conceded that they were right. I have never understood the need to make a bed.. I mean I understand cleaning the living room, kitchens and bathroom, guest rooms all that.. but your bedroom is your sanctuary and no one should be in there unless invited.. makes perfect sense to me...

I tell you this because I am astounded by the fact that I have serious OCD.. my friends actually laugh at me.. How can someone as eclectically messy as I am have OCD? Well, it's easy... here are a few of my rather unique oddities..

1 I hate odd numbers.. everything must be in even numbers unless they are multiples of 5 cuz well that's different. By everything, I really do mean everything.
         A. Take M&M's for example.. I open a pack... divided it by colors then
         eat them two at a time.. when the colors stop matching I make
         "family"   pairs.. I create the correct color combination.

          B. Or better yet, Lucky Charms.. I eat as many of the cereal pieces as
          I can, avoiding as many of the marshmallow pieces as possible. Then
when all the cereal pieces are gone, I eat the marshmallow pieces.. that's
          right, by twos... the same way I eat M&M's

2. My closets.. honestly I don't care if the laundry gets put away or not.. BUT IF IT DOES.. all clothes must be hung up, light to dark, short sleeves to long sleeves... shirts to dresses..

3. And for the really insane part. . you should see my banking system.. when I do it right.. I literally create several different accounts.. one for rent, one for utilities, one for food, one for clothes, one for car, one for entertainment... if I put it all in one account the money disappears. If I split it up the minute I get the check? Well then suddenly I have money left over... How can that be? I start with the same amount of money!

4. Or, here's a fun one... My filing system.. I file and I mean seriously file!! I file my emails, my paperwork.. everything!! It's another case of it can stay on my desk forever but once it get's put away it has to be put away in an exact manner...

5. And finally, dishes.. yes it's true, I have been known to take the dishes down and put them back correctly...

6. OHHHHHHH and don't even get me started on spreadsheets.. I ADORE spreadsheets..

Now explain to me please how someone who willing admits to suffer from serious domestic challenges.. can be this OCD?

Just thought I would share some of my insanity with you all..

BYE BYE BLAGO

2011-12-09T01:33:00.000-06:00

As a resident of Illinois I can only look at this weeks news with a certain amount of glee.. Yes that's right GLEE!! I am so happy to see this sorry excuse for a governor receive appropriate punishment.

I do have to say though I did not feel betrayed by him, don't get me wrong I was totally disgusted by his actions but sadly not surprised. This man from the very moment he took office used it like his own personal servants system. He was elected governor then refused to move to Springfield because his daughter, then around 7 didn't want to leave her friends.. Well shoot, I bet there are thousands of military kids who feel the same way and yet they move over and over and over again. So he refused to move down to Springfield.. can you believe this he COMMUTED.. yeah that's right he flew back and forth on a sometimes daily basis (so he could have family time) all on the taxpayers dime.

You have to figure if he did this there was plenty of other crap going on that we were totally clueless about.. and yet he was re elected.. that scared me.. made me worry about what the average voter in Illinois was thinking. Part of me, was almost apathetic when Blago was arrested.. I mean he was a corrupt, self important little man and we elected him twice to lead the state.. why? Cuz he was young and good looking? Sad fact of life.. we like young and we like attractive, heaven forbid we look for intelligence and ethics and commitment and devotion to service.. NAH.. what good would that do us? oh, I know it might get us out of the mess we are in!

Anyway... BYE BYE BLAGO.. you won't be missed..

Rest In Peace, Colonel Potter

2011-12-07T14:57:00.000-06:00

"M*A*S*H" star Harry Morgan died at his home in Los Angeles on Wednesday morning. The character actor was 96.
He was best known for playing Colonel Sherman T. Potter on the long-running army comedy.
In a 2004 interview with the The Television Academy Foundation’s Archive of American Television, Morgan acknowledged the profound effect that the iconoclastic sitcom had on his career.

"He was firm," Morgan said. "He was a good officer and he had a good sense of humor. I think it's the best part I ever had. I loved playing Colonel Potter."
Although "M*A*S*H" made him a television icon, Morgan first came to attention for his role as Officer Bill Gannon, Joe Friday's partner on the revived version of "Dragnet," which aired on NBC from 1967-70.
Morgan's ironically gruff demeanor made him an in-demand character actor for nearly five decades.
He appeared in supporting roles in more than 100 films, many of them classics such as "The Ox-Bow Incident," "High Noon," and "Inherit the Wind."
His resonant voice and irascible verve made him a natural for parts as authority figures, and he was frequently called upon to play judges, lawmen and military officers.
In addition to "M*A*S*H" and "Dragnet," Morgan scored small screen success playing a henpecked husband on “Pete and Gladys” (1960-62), which originated out of a supporting part he played on “December Bride” (1954-59).

Morgan also was married to Eileen Detchon for 45 years until her death in 1985.
He is survived by second wife Barbara Bushman; three sons from his first marriage, Christopher, Charles and Paul; and eight grandchildren. *yahoo news*

I know this man touched generations with his portrayel of two characters.. amazing isn't it how little it takes to touch lives.. He brightened mine every Monday night throughout my teens and as young adult!! I was trying to find a picture of his last episode of Mash where he rode out on Sophie.. but alas, I could not so instead.. we salute you Harry Morgan

SO I Get eMails from Payless

2011-12-01T21:49:00.000-06:00

Being a single parent whose children have feet... I have always looked for the best pricing on shoes. When they were little and I wanted to care for their feet to make sure they were properly supported.. my mom bought their shoes (thank you mom, cuz otherwise they would have been barefoot) but as they turned teen and had a need for more than one or two pairs.. Cuz seriously, a girl needs more than one pair of shoes.. I started going to payless..

A few years ago, I realized that I only owned two pair of shoes myself so of course I started shopping there myself.. Now I get regular updates!! And while they are not Christian Louboutin they do have some really awesome shoes.. I find myself in lust.. I want these boots..

Seriously are they gorgeous or what? I can not help it I am a serious shoe girl.. If I had my way I would have closets full of shoes. I totally understand why women spend all their money on shoes.. those crazy ladies w/the rooms just for their shoes? That would be me if I had money... Good thing God made me poor

Just a little something light.. hope you have a fantastic day!!

TurnBack Tuesday

2011-11-29T16:41:00.000-06:00

Hmmm.. I got this picture today.. it's a picture of Blond girl.. BUT those are my arms in the background.. I am thinking I want those arms again..

After years of internal debate I am fed up.. I have to do something about how I look. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror and heaven forbid I get a picture taken.. So... I have decided I am going to get my arms back...

Yes folks.. I am holding myself accountable and going to post my weight loss journey here.. While I can not really turnback time I can turn it back enough that I have the shape I used to.. Since my shape is so well.. round.. right now no matter where I end up.. will be a shape I used to have.

I am not going to post my actual weight or how much I want to loose.. well not until I actually loose it BUT I will be posting weekly pictures and stuff..

So to start it off.. this is what I look like NOW..

Yeah that is me sitting in front.. I actually allowed my kids to take a picture with me in it.. grrr.. next year it will look way better!!

Music is Alive and Well

2011-11-27T16:01:00.000-06:00

I spent Thanksgiving with my family at Hair Boy's this year.. it was a wonderful event and yeah I most certainly have a lot to be grateful for.. The list is endless and most of it circles around my four amazing kids but that is for another blog..

What I want to write about is something I learned. Hair Boy is an amazing musician and has started on his life's path of creating his own. He has direction and goals something he did not inherit from either his father or myself as we are both loaded with talent and have NO drive..

ANYHOW... Hair Boy had a show Friday night.. it was fabulous.. in this room above a bar.. 4 acts.. with amazing music with French Lyrics played in between sets. Yeah I want that CD.. didn't think to ask who it was of course. The thing that made me happy, other than the fact that he dedicated his show to me.. was the fact that Indie music is alive and well. I had honestly thought that that era was gone. That everyone was mainstreamed and totally boring.. but no, there is an entire culture out there with wonderful music.. wanting to share.

One of the artists was a young lady named Haley Jane She had this wicked wit along with a beautiful voice, excellent presentation and soul searching lyrics.. I would most happily purchase her music which you can do so Here.

I completely enjoyed the atmospheric room, the great music and the sometimes intellectual conversations about music. I also liked watching the way the kids were dressed. From Classic Rock to Steampunk it was great! It taught me that there is hope for those who dream. That if you search for it you will find what you are looking for. You just have to be willing to fail.. and not afraid to try..

<p>&amp;lt;a href="http://hayleyjane.bandcamp.com/track/arise-fair-sun"&amp;gt;Arise Fair Sun by Hayley Jane&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;</p>

I am so going out to find the Indie poets and writers I want to be a part of this..

Michelle Obama bood at NASCAR

2011-11-21T00:56:00.000-06:00

This bothers me on so many levels..

First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden were grand marshals at today’s NASCAR season finale at Homestead-Miami Speedway, appearing as part of their charitable campaign to support military veterans and their families. Both of these ladies have worked really hard on this program one that every American should be supporting.. This is not a political thing this is the right thing.. and we should be proud that the two most powerful women (ok Oprah isn't involved.. but the next two most important) in our country think it is important enough for us to be aware of it. It is so important that they went to a NASCAR event.. why? because a HUGE sector of our military comes from the NASCAR fan base.. Do you really think they woke up one day and said.. hey let's go to a car race?

And yet.. they went.. to honor those who serve by offering support to their families.. You don't have to like President Obama.. you don't have to like his wife.. but as Americans we should support and respect the office and what it represents and yes that includes his wife.. Even more than what they were there supporting.. they were there representing something precious.. Us.. if you don't like them.. VOTE.. ok, how many of you VOTE? yeah.. I thought so.. and yet people sit and boo the first lady for being what? married to the man who dared to try and make a difference?

This isn't about being a Republican or a Democrat it's about being an American.. It's about respecting something bigger than we are.. More people need to learn basic manners.. *sigh* yeah and vote darn it!!

Lesson Learned!!

2011-11-19T18:54:00.000-06:00

Yes this will be a self congratulatory post.. I can't help it.. I have actually managed to do something I have NEVER been able to do.. I SHUT MY MOUTH!! Yes that is right..

I have this amazing ability to stick my foot in it.. yeah, a lot of the times I am right but at what expense? When I was a kid, I was the best at seeing the good in people and accepting their verbal batterings with a smile.. somewhere along the line I decided that I needed to change and stand up for myself.. in theory good.. in reality.. not so much.

I agree, verbal battering is bad.. it's abuse and yeah I sucked it in for a lot of years while growing up. I still do with some people.. when I respond I sound bitter and angry.. petty.. and they sound reasonable.. they aren't but my resentment doesn't change them. I had to decide that I was handling it wrong for me and figure out how to handle it right. The way I see it I have three choices..

Accept that the person is not going to change and if you want them in your life then you just have to accept that this is the way they are.. Doesn't make them right.. just makes it who they are
Remove that person from your life
Fight back..

There are problems with all three choices.. accepting a person who belittles you constantly, means the verbal abuse continues.. and I am here to tell you it does.. You have to be really strong to deal with this kind of battering.. day in and day out and honestly.. most people aren't.

Removing a person from your life.. hard, especially if it is someone like a parent, spouse, child, sibling.. you know a relative.. You KNOW they love you and if you explained that they were abusive they would be appalled or worse *rolls eyes* point out how sensitive you are... Yes you can remove some negative forces but removing all is hard..

Fight back.. yeah did I mention that doesn't work out so well with me? I always get hurt when I do this.. Either I sound like such a flaming witch, others turn away or I am so intensely passionate, once again I look like an over emotional twit.

Recently two things happened.. and I have handled both situations differently..
The first one was extremely personal and I won't go into it.. but I decided on a combination of 1 and 2.. I have to accept this person for who she is but I can do it on a very limited basis.. I don't have to be the one to initiate the relationship interaction and I can accept that things will never be where I want them to be.. In a way, I did some serious pruning to that relationship. I feel like this burden has been lifted from my shoulders.. one that has been there for so long that I had forgotten what it was like to live without it.. If I ever knew..

The second.. well a case of a person telling me how to behave and represent myself.. yeah.. the words were there.. I had a pithy response right there.. I was ready to blast her.. I worked up a spreadsheet for pete's sake.. But then, instead of giving it to her with both barrels.. I shut up.. yeah.. I refrained.. I took evasive action and have redefined how I am going to deal with this person.. Believe me that is a HUGE Step forward for me..

Life is going to get interesting because both of these people are in my life to stay.. at least for a while.. I just need to know how to work with them to my benefit.. not to let them win in my inner self.. Not to give them power over me.. the me that matters.. it will take time but every day.. each step along the path helps..

And The Broncos Win!

2011-11-18T09:37:00.000-06:00

I LOVE IT!! While I am not a Bronco fan I am a Tim Tebow fan!! No, not one of those crazed people who does the "Tebow" all over the place, nor one who assumes he all but walks on water... nah, I just plain ole like the kid!. He is polite, considerate, a hard worker and committed to his faith... and THAT is the problem.

This young man has been more vilified than anyone in football EVER.. yeah the Penn State fiasco will blow over... OJ Who? Vick, you mean the current football darling? Favre?? yeah all those names get skipped over to insult and defame a young man who not only believes in God.. but does everything he can to live the life. Oh, I am sure he isn't perfect but of all the sports figures out there, this is a young man I have no problem with my children admiring..

I know he is a Christian.. and oh yeah he is HUMAN.. one day he may stumble from his convictions.. make a less than Christlike decision and then I am sure that they haters will dance with glee..

But for now.. The Broncos in a desperate need to win put Timmy in.. and oh how he has delivered. Not with glory but with grace.. ok, inner grace cuz his football is UGLY.. I love listening to everyone say oh yeah sure he's good at you know HS or college football and his style won't work in the NFL.. hey guys? It's working.. Why does it work? Because he makes those around him play better.. He inspires and elevates he has the something.. His team mates have been known to say that when he is in they just play better.. hmmmmm guess it's that intangible that broadcasters can't define.. I hope he continues to develop his skills and becomes that premier football player he should be.. but for now.. yeah I am giggling... Go Timmy

A Death

2011-11-17T17:42:00.000-06:00

Recently on the news I saw a story about a town grieving.. a 10 year old girl came home from school.. asked her mother if she could be homeschooled.. her mother, a working mother said no... as would most of us.. the little girl went to her room.. Several hours later her sister found her in the closet, hanging from bar with a scarf wrapped around her neck.

This poor baby had had enough.. she couldn't take it anymore and decided to end her life. I saw this and just cried. Were the signs there? Did they even know what to look for? Our children are under constant daily attack.. and we are often so busy we put their complaints down to minor issues.. The little girl came home and asked if she could be homeschooled... Did the mom even know enough to ask why? If she did.. did she know the despair that her daughter was feeling? Did she understand that bullying is more than kids beating up on other kids. Yes that kind is bad BUT it is far worse, when one is battered by words.. a slow insidious drip.. at best it wears away at self esteem and does a life time of damage.. at worst.. well a 10 year old girl died..

I can't help putting myself in this mother's shoes.. Blond Girl for years had a stomach issue.. acidy stomach, heartburn.. yeah I blew it off.. turns out she has the makings of an ulcer.. For years she has had breathing and or passing out issues.. light headed.. no one even the nurses took her seriously.. turns out she has syncope.. a very real disorder..

PITA Boy got in trouble once in band for being where he wasn't supposed to be then reacting very negatively to the discipline enforced on him. I was appalled!! I read him the riot act.. turns out Word Girl had been there.. and PITA Boy was hanging out in that place to get away from a constant barrage of verbal abuse by one of the popular kids.. When I found out I went to the school and DEMANDED that this other child receive at LEAST the same punishment that my son received.. That of not being able to perform Middle School Night at the local HS.. yeah.. didn't happen.. The other Boy was a talented member of the band and a teacher fav.. He was not seen as someone who caused problems.. Bullies, real bullies, seldom are.. They have power, charisma, charm.. whatever. This other boy got to perform... the teacher tried to BAN PITA Boy from even attending.. yeah I in your faced her and pointed out.. it was a HS event and she had no power there.

I went to the Principal every day for weeks trying to get this boy punished.. according to the district's very By Laws.. there was NO TOLERANCE for bullying and there were witnesses.. Other than his sister.. of course anyone who knows Word Girl knows.. she won't put up with crap from her siblings and had no problem telling it like it is.. if they were in the wrong.. shoot if she just THOUGHT that they were in the wrong she made sure others knew it.. This boy was never even reprimanded.. He got away with it.. why? Because he was popular, charming and charismatic and PITA Boy was ADHD, stuttered and needy..

My point here is often we don't see what is happening, we don't understand the damage done and we don't fight hard enough to demand our children's rights.. Oh not the right to be in the advanced classes, when our child is at best a C student.. or not the right to make Varisity sports.. No the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Bullying is WRONG.. pure and simple.. but we need to learn just what it is and how to recognize it..

I weep for this poor baby and her family and her poor mother.. who will always wish she had taken just a little more time.. She did what probably every other mother in the world would do... and yet she lost her precious baby to despair..

Just Made Me Giggle

2011-11-16T12:43:00.000-06:00

Saw this and had to admire the wit and the ability to put things into a perspective that today's mind understands

Seriously?

2011-11-15T16:14:00.000-06:00

Sandusky just totally gives me the heebie jeebies.. This is his defense? We were horsing around? On what planet is this acceptable? Sandusky.... Adult... vs 10yr old CHILD!!

I had decided to put this behind me not beat it into the ground but the man is an idiot! He needs to shut up and listen to his lawyers.. maybe they will just lock him in a hole for life that way.. otherwise someone is gonna go ballistic on him.

I am a mother of sons.. more than that, the mother of sons whose father was not in the picture.. and yes.. they found male mentors.. Paul Mackey, Andy Armentano, Dave Davis, Dave Toler... I can add more but those four were HUGE influences in my children's lives.. and not ONE OF THEM horsed around naked with them in the showers!!

Each and every one of them got it.. mentor yes.. naked shower play NO! Yes there was comradery! Yes there was goofing around! But these men knew that there were lines not to be crossed. Thank GOD!! that my boys were lucky enough to find such amazing men to show them what a REAL MAN is.

Of course there are the responsibilities of the parent.. believe me each of them knew me as well.. and there is not a doubt in any of our minds just what I would have done had they even considered betraying my trust and behaving inappropriately with my children. AND My sons knew to come to me.. there are some secrets we just don't keep!! I was not a perfect mom.. go ahead and ask my kids, I understand there is a list longer than Santa's as to what I have done wrong.. but no one and I mean NO ONE was ever going to mess with my babies..

We Got Your Back Pat

2011-11-14T11:02:00.000-06:00

Earlier this year Univ of Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach Pat Summit announced that she had early onset dementia. Pat has done more for women's sports than any other female EVER.. yeah that may be just my opinion but when she started coaching basketball at Univ of TN.. women's sports were still an after thought..

Patricia "Pat" Head Summitt (born on June 14, 1952 in Clarksville, Tennessee) is an American women's college basketball coach. She is currently the head coach of the Tennessee Lady Vols basketball team. She is the all-time winningest coach in NCAA basketball history of either a men's or women's team in any division. She has been coaching since 1974, all with the Lady Vols, winning eight NCAA national championships, second only to the record 10 titles won by UCLA men's coach John Wooden. Summitt is the only coach in NCAA history, and one of three college coaches overall, with 1,000 victories. She was named the Naismith Basketball Coach of the Century in April 2000. In 2009, the Sporting News placed her number 11 on its list of the 50 Greatest Coaches of All Time in all sports; she was the only woman on the list. In 36 years as a coach, she has never had a losing season. (Wikidpedia)

Back when women hardly played sports let alone coached.. Pat stepped up and has changed the world of sports.. She had done it with integrity and grace.. and deserves every moment of praise she receives.. She was back on the court last night coaching her girls.. I hope to see her there for a long long time..

Practice Your Gratitudes

2011-11-12T12:29:00.000-06:00

Feeling down? Life stressing you out? Out of work? Children driving you crazy? Well it's time to practice your gratitudes.. Seriously! We can not change so very many thinks in our lives.. but we can be grateful for the postives. Have you ever noticed that the bad always seems to take us over. Life is hard.. and we struggle.. and yest there are those who are happy.. why? Because they know they have something to be grateful for.

It doesn't matter what it is.. there is always something. I used to by nature practice my gratitudes and I was a happy self confident person.. then along the way I started listening to so many people who would tell me to get my head out of the sand, face reality and stop pretending life was wonderful and I got bitter and mean.. and sank into a depression that it has taken me years to get out of.. And how did I get out.. finally? Why, I started practicing my gratitudes..

I woke up (I figure if you do this one you are pretty much ahead of the game)
I am healthy, overweight and under exercised but healthy non the less
I have four amazing children.. who are healthy and whole..
I have a roof over my head
I have friends
I have family (yes even if they do drive me nuts, they are there)
Someone gave up their seat on the bus for me today
Someone held the door open for me when my hands were full.. shoot someone held it open just to be polite..

See there is always something to be grateful for.. today I am going to make sure that I practice my gratitudes..

Thank You

2011-11-11T08:35:00.000-06:00

This is one of my favorite posts...

Thank You

John Jensen

Bill Steenburgen

Guy Lile

King LaBau

Harvey Lemming

Jr Branch

John Lill

David Lill

Fred Mohr

Joe Bush

The Veterans who helped shape my life.. who do you have to thank?

And Yet I Doubt!

2011-11-10T13:47:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, financially my life has not been what I can call secure.. even when at it's best it was a constant struggle to raise four kids in today's world and to well be able to pay for it. We have muddled through.. but there are times when I wonder if we are going to make it. We ALWAYS do..

For some reason, my child support checks were yet again going absent.. you must understand on very few occasions has it been the ex's fault. The gov't garnishes his wages so when he works, I get paid. And to be fair.. the man worked!! He gave all of his best parts to his job.. of course when the economy tanked.. he lost his job.. got it back as a temp and then lost it again.. so now we are dealing with unemployment and the temporary agency's need to contest said unemployment.. I have a problem with that, but that is a different story.

I was unable to contact him, so I went and tracked him down.. understand that we don't have a bad relationship all things considered.. you know, I do all the work and he pays what the gov't makes him.. anyway, I found him and he is not looking good. It kind of hurt because this was just a beautiful man and to see what alcohol has done to him, hurts..ok.. still not the point.

When I found him, he explained that his money was on hold and who knows when he would see unemployment again.. ok.. life sucks but I can deal, seriously I only have until July anyway.

I came home and was told, the bill that needed to be paid.. TODAY.. was paid.. how? Well PITA Boy paid it.. I was confused, I knew he had no money.. well seems like he got paid a day early.. I know.. to many this is not a miracle.. but think about it.. I had a need.. and God provided.. what exactly would you call it?

I have often in my life failed God... but HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME!!

Giving Away Your Power

2011-11-09T14:43:00.000-06:00

I admit it, I am one of those touchy feely types.. not the actual touch part it took me forever to be able to let a friend hug me just to say hello.. and seriously when strangers do it.. yeah drives me nuts.. but... emotionally, I am one of those that lets things get under my skin.. and stay there.. letting the words of others affect me. I shouldn't. I should let those words slide off of me. I don't and that is the problem

I have spent most of my life being told that I am too sensitive that I needed to deal with it and not be such a wuss.. Over the years I have learned that MOST of the time.. this is actually their problem. I am sensitive it's who I am.. I don't have to change to make others happy.. They can learn to deal with their own issues.. and if I want to cry.. then you know what? I am gonna cry. It makes me feel better..

What I do have to work on is giving others the power to upset me. Yeah, I am one of those that remembers.. I won't say hold a grudge although when someone hurts my kids.. I have the memory of an elephant.. That is not what I am talking about.. No, I am talking about those words that are usually said without thought.. offhand, whatever.. but those words slip under my skin and fester... and then there are the words that are said for just that purpose.. to hurt. The best thing I can do is forget them. DO NOT GIVE THEM POWER.. One day I am going to learn how to do just that!

Joe Frazier,RIP

2011-11-08T07:03:00.000-06:00

Joe Frazier was a huge part of my childhood... I was raised by an honest to goodness sports enthusiastic. It didn't matter the sport if they were talented.. if they were good then he loved and appreciated them.

My Dad loved Boxing, although I was raised that Mohammed Ali (Cassius Clay, when I was really young) I knew who Joe Frazier was and what he meant to the sport.

In a sport that Americans have triumphed in Olympics after Olympics, Joe Frazier was the ONLY one to win a gold medal in the 1964 Oylmpics. He was the heavy weight world champion from 1970 - 1973 back when people paid attention and cared about boxing..

Who, even non boxing fans, could forget the "thrilla in Manilla"? The iconic Frazier/Ali heavyweight champion fight held in Manilla. The name Joe Frazier meant something... integrity, blue collar... he was the working mans champion.

It is sad to see him go, RIP Joe Frazier.. you made a difference, in the end what more can we ask for?

Joe Paterno and Penn State

2011-11-07T18:05:00.000-06:00

Sure he's the winningest coach in college history.. sure he's an example to working octogenarians everywhere.. Sure he even seems like a nice guy.. But he needs to go.

In the late 90's his asst coach, and assumed golden child predecessor was caught molesting a child int he showers of the locker room by a grad student. The student went into his office and called his father who told him to get the heck out of there. When he got home they called the Dean.. not the police the Dean.. who discussed it with his fabulous coach and they decided to let the asst coach go.

Yes that's right they released him from his employment. They made no mention to anyone but the inner sanctum about what he had been caught doing. They didn't tell his charity.. yeah the one that helped out "troubled" boys.. And even though they let him go.. they still allowed him access to the campus and the locker rooms.. They treated him like an honored guest not the criminal that he was.

It has finally come out.. and everyone from the governor on down says that Joe Paterno is not the subject of the investigation. I am appalled..sadly I am not amazed as cover up seems to be the way of the world, if you have money, or can bring money in... The school needs to step up and say.. Joe, you are a nice guy we like you but sorry.. you screwed up big time..

A child's life was RUINED.. and no one did anything because it might have made the school look bad.. WOW.. lovely priorities.. I am glad my child is not looking to attend school there..

Just Dragging

2011-11-02T16:32:00.000-05:00

Ever since Blond Girl's incident and consequent trip to the hospital I have been basically unable to get back into the groove of things.. It seems I am always just a bit out of step.

This is frustrating for me because I have spent a very long time and a lot of effort to fight anemia, depression and frustration. To find that I had settled into a rythmn of sorts and yet this one just through me for a loop.

It is hard juggling my life because I have this split very public/very private life. As many sufferers and survivors of abuse do I keep my troubles very very close. I don't share with others what is really going on in my life and when I do, things are usually better. Then I have no problem sharing, well some things..

I just feel battled, bruised and not the victor in day to day life right now. Alone, abandoned and completely without my support base. I have plenty of lovely acquainances and many people who have stepped out and offered a helping hand.. but few friends, if any.. who call and say hey, let's hit the show. Or want to discuss what I am reading.. I created this wonderful and fantastic new site and I have no one to really share it with.

Then of course there is family, sometimes I wonder if I did the kids a disservice.. I feel disconnected from them, while they have become that cohesive unit I always wanted them to be. They will never feel like they are unwanted or unappreciated amongst their siblings.. They will never feel like there they sit with their faces to the window.. on the wrong side, seeing a lovely family unit, knowing that they should be a part of it and yet, aren't.

Yeah, I am suffering a setback.. I know I can not rely on anyone to define who I am except myself, but it would be nice, if just once.. one of those people who claim to care for me got it.. got that while I am not some week useless creature (that most of my family sees me as) I am also not that strong fortress (that most of the community sees). I am me, no more, no less.

The Phantom Tollbooth Turns 50

2011-10-31T09:55:00.000-05:00

The Phantom Tollbooth is a book that helped shaped my childhood. I read it around the age of 10 and promptly announced it the BEST BOOK EVER.. (although it was quickly usurped by LotR but that is an entirely different story). Over the years I have spoken about this book to many, encouraged others to read it and given it to just about every 10 year old child I have come in contact with. My own kids all read it between the ages of 8 and 10, depending. Only Blond Girl fell in love with it the way I did but oh the fall was glorious.

Because I loved the book so much when I found this article and just wanted to share...

The Phantom Tollbooth turns 50 this year, and we've joined Norton Juster and Jules Feiffer, Milo and Tock, and a host of authors, critics, teachers and kids, to celebrate the classic 1961 children's book, by making the definitive documentary film about this beloved work of the American imagination.

We follow Norton and Jules as they return to the house in Brooklyn Heights where Norton began writing a little story "to get his mind off of what he had to do." Working as an architect, Norton was awarded a grant for a book on Urban Perception, which he promptly didn't write. Instead, he created Milo. When he showed his notes to his neighbor, a young political cartoonist bent on overthrowing the government, Jules began sketching – and The Phantom Tollbooth was born.
Through the lens of Milo and his adventures, we get to know Norton Juster – an incorrigible punster with a "delight in glorious lunatic linguistic acrobatics" (Maurice Sendak, in his appreciation to the 35th Anniversary of The Phantom Tollbooth). Bored as a kid, wondering why he had to learn so many useless facts, Norton is Milo, we learn. And we get taken into Norton’s personal Phantom Tollbooth: where his imagination gets him in trouble for demoralizing the Navy battalion with his drawings of elves; where his friendship with Jane Jacobs and her critique of American cities shows up in Digitopolis and Dictionopolis; where “beyond expectations” takes on a personal meaning for Norton’s daughter and granddaughter as they confront their learning disabilities.
And there’s Jules Feiffer: “that rare artist who can draw an idea," as Maurice Sendak writes in his appreciation. Or as Jules puts it “this was the first children’s book I’d ever done and I thought it was going to be the last. This was the Cold War Fifties, I was interested in overthrowing the government". We’ll look at Jules’ emergence as a voice of his generation through his comic strip at The Village Voice. How much of that era – the politics, the ideas, New York in 1961 – worked its way into his Phantom Tollbooth illustrations? Jules may argue that he illustrated the book more as a favor to a friend – but we just might find his wit, his deft criticism, his radical politics, embedded in those iconic sketches.
And then there’s the cast of authors, historians, teachers, fans, kids, and many more who all have their favorite parts: The Whether Man – “for after all it’s much more important to know whether there will be weather than what the weather will be;" The Island of Conclusions - which you can only get to by jumping; The Terrible Trivium "demon of petty tasks and worthless jobs;" and faithful Tock who just can’t stand to waste time, but does love a nice ride in an automobile.
Join us on "The Road to Dictionopolis: The Phantom Tollbooth Turns 50." Our documentary is a key part of the celebrations, and will, we hope, help bring a fourth generation of readers to Norton and Jules' masterpiece.
We've been filming since January 2011 and expect to have the film ready for release in 2012.

I hope you can find the time to read and enjoy this book. It doesn't matter when it was written, it feels like it happened yesterday. I think all of us have a bit of Milo in us. Let's just hope we learn our lessons as well as he did

* this article was found at The Phantom Tollbooth

Did You Catch That Game?

2011-10-30T09:03:00.000-05:00

As I may have stated a time or two.. I LOVE College football and yesterday to be enjoying the game..

Three undefeated teams went crashing, loosing any chance of a national championship. Penn state and University of Illinois played an historical game during an October Snow.. and that wasn't the historical part. Joe Paterno has won 409 college games.. WOW!! Can you imagine how long he must have been coaching and in the same position.. The man is 84 years old. In this age of ageism and quick turnovers it is amazing that Joe Paterno is even still working, let alone being appreciated! And now he shows us all just why.. He has a job that he loves.. he has people who admire and respect him, he is truly one lucky man..

At the end of the day was the best game of all. Stanford, at the top of the leader board safely ensconced at number 4 in the national rankings had until last night been undefeated... Along comes USC, a team that has been nationally ranked over and over and over again. Although, Stanford has beaten them the past couple of years.. This year USC was out for blood, in their last year of sanctions they had nothing to loose. No chance at the PAC 12 championship let alone the National Championship. This Game WAS their national championship! And they came to win...

Taking off to an early lead.. and honestly as late as teh early 4th quarter I was sure Stanford was TOAST.. but then Luck was with Stanford. I know people are getting tired of that statement.. But Andrew Luck showed the world just what he was made of. Can we say number 1 draft choice? Tying the game with seconds, yes that's right seconds to go.. Stanford went on to beat USC in triple overtime!!

What an amazing game!! Let me tell you if you love football and missed this game.. you missed a great game..

One of Those Days

2011-10-29T10:38:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days when every thing goes right until things just start collapsing at your feet?

Yesterday was one of those days for me! I started my morning off early, well I didn't sleep as I was overly busy and had excess energy (first mistake as I am a known crab if I don't get my 8 hours). I wrote a review for the book Ascension by Caris Roane at Bodice Rippers and was able to post our tribute to our Author of the Month as well as announcing our contest and give away of an autographed copy of Vampire in Atlantis by Alyssa Day . Believe me this had me totally and completely stoked! And then things just got BETTER! We heard back from Author Anne Bishop about doing an interview for our site! And we were in talks with people at Christine Feehan's for the same! All this before 9am!

Then the trouble started! I went onto a website and read a conversation going on between some of my friends. Now this particular group of ladies is known for giving their opinions.. in an accurate manner no holds barred! If they like the book, they like the book and if they don't... well they tell you why. This is not always a good place for me because I become so very passionate about my books that I feel personally insulted.. Hello? I didn't write the book. Why should it bother me? Who knows? But it does... One of my friends, probably the nicest of all of us, made a comment and I exploded.. (See yesterday's rant).The problem with reading words on a website is the fact that well.... you read what YOU think they meant... no tone of voice to tell you what they meant. Now put that together with no sleep by an admitted sleepless witch.. and you get just nasty.

I immediately reacted.. responded with a pithy comeback.. now had my partners in crime over at Bodice Rippers been online I would have gone to them and they would have told me the same thing I tell them when they get upset.. Let it go.. take a breath.. write a letter to yourself.. don't react!! They weren't they were both off living their lives.. the rats... I realized within moments of posting it that I was wrong.. I went back and immediately deleted the post.. Which would have been ok, EXCEPT.. on this site when you make a comment all the people on the post get a notification... yeah that's right.. a notification. My snarly, snarky remark hurt someone's feelings.. She responded on my wall.. I got angrier.. I mean I took it down.. let it go right? Well I should have listened to my own advice.. I came here and posted my rant.. She saw it.. yeah that's right.. I am/was good enough friends with her that I had shared this blog with her. BUT WAIT.. it gets better.. Next I made a snarky remark on twitter.. oh yeah AND on facebook.. She saw the twitter.. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she didn't see the FB.. Of course if she reads this she will now!!

Was I right? NO!!.. For several reasons..

I have no idea what her tone was and her comments may not have been and knowing her probably weren't meant as in insult.
I know myself well enough to know that when I am tired I tend to over react. Grow up
Not everyone is going to like Bodice Rippers get over yourself
As a professional.. well that just wasn't
I lost a friend... over my stupidity...

Now with that being said... plenty of people have said some pretty nasty things to me and I let them.. I don't take them to task... I don't even make them apologize..From a friend I could have used that same treatment. I also know that plenty of times people have read things into my words that I never ever meant or sometimes even thought of.. I still apologize for hurting their feelings.

Of course as a Christian, someone who tries to live a Christ like life.. I should have just offered my hurt up to God, maybe taken my friend aside, sent her a PRIVATE email and let her know that the comment hurt my feeling.. You know acted like an ADULT!! Not a freakin two year old!!

So I am sorry.. I am sorry that I responded angrily, I am sorry that once I knew that my response hurt that I took it further.. and I am most sorry that I lost a friend..

Hard Lessons Learned, Again and Again

2011-10-28T10:13:00.000-05:00

Be prepared this is a Rant in the truest form.. I am angry.. really really ANGRY.. If you read my blogs at all you know that along with two of my friends I have started a book review site..Bodice Rippers. We are really really proud of it and have been getting an awesome response..

A Couple of authors have agreed to our interview requests and have complimented us on the site. We have been having book reviews, discussions and yes even disagreements.. Today I found out that one of our staunchest supporters was gleefully slipping the knife in.. She didn't like our choice of reads.. didn't enjoy the books.. which seriously, there are plenty of books I don't like that people have recommended to me. I either read them or don't. If I do, I generally keep my mouth shut and don't tell them what I disliked about it.. usually I will find something positive and elaborate on that.. But even bad mouthing a series is really no skin off my nose.. (ok, yes I take it personally but I know that is on me...)

Today, I read a comment that not only insulted the books, the author and everything about them but my site.. the one I am nurturing so very carefully.. and that just made me blow a gasket!! It hurt.. yes I admit I lashed out.. I responded with a pithy post.. that I then deleted. too late as it is because all posts get email notifications so the people who read them will know.. I shouldn't have.. I should have taken the high road. My behavior was unprofessional.. I was just so very hurt...

Oh well, lesson learned.. watch your back.. but don't let it slow you down.. look towards the horizon and keep going!!

Top soccer team booted from playoffs for strange technicality

2011-10-27T16:13:00.000-05:00

I was completing my normal routine this morning.. Reading my emails, responding to posts and comments on Bodice Rippers, talking with my BR associate, reading Dear Abby (every day since I was a kid.. can't help myself) and cruising through Yahoo News..

I admit, I like Yahoo News because it not only informs me of important stuff but tells me what other people consider important. Believe me I rarely agree with what they think but I do find it fun. Today I found a rather interesting article about a Soccer Team that was disqualified from the playoffs. The picture shows the team all decked out in their uniforms posing for what I can only assume is their yearbook picture. You are SUPPOSED to feel sorry for them. I find that while I do feel bad for the girls, they didn't do anything wrong, I have to agree with the decision.

The team, which is one of the best in the State of NY and who could conceivably win the state championship was disqualified because it played one too many regular season games. This is a newer rule as it is only two years old.. But that should be a reason why they actually are aware of it. It is not as the title implies a strange technicality, it was a rule that has been enacted for a specific reason. And the people who scheduled games for this team screwed up. Obviously, by playing one more game than the rest of the teams gives them one more chance at working together in a game environment. Fine tuning their team work and learning just a bit more about each other.

The school petitioned the State athletic board for a dispensation, fortunately they were turned down. Sorry girls, yes you are one of the best and you should be playing in these championships BUT don't blame the State. It wasn't the State that broke the rules. They didn't create it to hinder you.. it was in place in plenty of time for your schedulers to be aware of..

Part of athletics, the part parents today like to forget, is learning to work within the rules.. If you hit a ball between these lines you may advance to a base or two or three, if you shoot a ball while standing outside these lines, you get extra points, if you pitch a ball between the shoulders and knees and directly over the plate that is a strike!! There are rules for a reason.. life has rules, mommy and daddy don't get to go to your boss and make him change the reasons why you have to go in on Wednesdays, or how much you make.. No you have to do it yourself, these are the rules..

I hate the need to "FIX" everything for our children.. well not the need we all have that inside us, but rather the action of actually doing it. Ask any of the Beasties and they will tell you from an early age I expected them to fight their own battles, follow the rules and respect others.. So far they are pretty great kids/adults so I think I have done the right thing..

you can find the entire article I am speaking of Here

Frustration! and More Frustration!

2011-10-26T13:03:00.000-05:00

I don't have a car so I tend to use a lot of cabs. Over the years I have tried out all of the local cab services and for the most part I find that Flash Cab/303 Taxi has the best service.. Both in arrival time and driver service. That being said... I have had a few annoying incidents. Today was one of those days.

My cab driver showed up and of course wanted to put my coordinates into his GPS.. great idea!! Except I was basically going around the block.. maybe a mile or two combined.. he didn't need GPS.. I would give him directions.. Ok, sure no problem.. EXCEPT.. why bother asking for directions when you aren't going to take them...

Here is how my trip went...

1. I have a parking lot with only one entrance, the best way to get out is to go back the way you came in. Yes you can go around the building but hey that is .20 cents.. In this case it was .40, that tells me he is running a hot meter so my entire trip is going to cost more than usual.

2. The parking lot that we turn into is really really weird and requires an entrance at an odd place. Which I explain in detail.. even to the point of saying.. see that green street sign going into the parking lot? See where that car is turning? Of course he didn't want to actually turn there.. wanted to go AROUND the block. Heck NO this is a cab.. every turn of the wheels costs..

3. Upon arriving at the grocery store, he pulled up and blew a stop sign, then stopped the cab in a crosswalk.. When I told him that I would be right back he turned off his engine.. IN A FREAKIN CROSSWALK. I had to tell him to move up!!

4. Upon leaving, his trusty GPS chirped up and told him to make a left turn at a street (the wrong street but a street) considering the fact that I had said we were returning to the original pick up location he should have realized he would not have to turn.. BUT he didn't not only did he go to turn he tried to turn RIGHT!! Which means hello? wrong way!! I caught it but still..

It's not that GPS doesn't have it's uses, but there are times when it is just plain WRONG.. and when a customer gives you specific directions listen to them. I always try to smile, say please and thank you, use a cheerful voice.. and I apologize if I get crabby...

That was Frustration #1, #2 is worse

Since I don't have a credit or debit card at this moment.. I use prepaid cards on occasion. This was the first time I used a pre paid card on the internet instead of using Pita Boy's debit card.. I didn't register the card.. grrrr and that caused an entire host of errors..

1.Amtrak, denied the card because the zip code wasn't the same as what was on the card... I was sure Amtrak was wrong so I tried FIVE times, yes I am persistant!!

2. It finally dawned on me to see what I was doing wrong so I called the credit card!! The money of course had already been taken out.. so now my money was in billing limbo.

3. Call back to Amtrak to see if they can figure something out.. NOPE.

4. Call back to the CC company and was told, too bad so sad, the money will be reimbursed in 3-5 business days.. WHAT!! 3-5 business days? Now we all know that means FIVE business days no way are they going to give me my money back before then!! So next Wednesday I should see the money show up on my card!! Yep that's right a week from today.

5. Call Amtrak again... I tried to see if they could figure out a way to apply the limbo money to the ticket.. nope, no such transactions exist.. So now I get to start all over again.. Next time, I am just gonna deal with Pita Boy and use his stupid card!!

A Mother's Relief - All Praise to God

2011-10-25T04:46:00.001-05:00

Good Morning!! I have not forgotten you my friends... just have had a really hard time getting back into the swing of things since Blond Girl's incident. She has an official diagnoses of Syncopy.. which means she has a fainting disorder and there are some drawbacks. Most notably, she can never swim in an unsupervised manner again. Just think, no going into the ocean for a fun day of swimming, now diving in the lake with friends (unless one of them has the ability to care for her) and even a hotel pool... where there is no lifeguard on duty.. I can not imagine not being able to go in the water this way. We are a water based family.. It has been a central part of our entire life!! With that being said.. she is alive and well with a healthy heart and joyous spirit. All the thanks and praise to God for this!!

Blond Girl's Senior Solo

2011-10-24T00:09:00.001-05:00

Today was the first of three choir performances for the school year where they allow a Senior Solo. There are only seven solos for the entire year and 12 or 13 kids auditioned. Blond Girl was one who got a solo and hers was today!!

I was quite nervous because she was singing the song awfully high and no way was she ever gonna hit those notes!! I tried to be encouraging but I will admit I was really really nervous!! Hope you all enjoy the song!! Sorry about the shaky video, I wasn't too stable as the photographer!! I would suggest that you listen and not watch!!

A Pleasant Conversation

2011-10-21T23:07:00.000-05:00

I talked to my mom tonight, it was amazing we spoke for almost two hours, told stories, discussed books, talked about family and it did not end in me either hanging up mid sentence cuz I was just so angry (ok, the way I hang up on my mom is to say.. I have to go now and then hang up the phone but in my head I am slamming the phone down!) OR after a brief polite conversation I seethe about it for weeks.

So to have a pleasant conversation is a rare treat... Most people love my mom, well I love her too but we are just so different and see things from just different perspectives on well, EVERYTHING.. and being that I am the kid.. most conversations end badly. Of course this entire thing was brought on by that article on Bodice Rippers that claims an avid reader is someone who reads 9 books a year. Since my mother is the person in my life that gave me my great love of books I knew she would understand my apall!!

So we talked, we chatted, we discussed and the very best part is.... I got my phone call quota in for the next three months! *giggles* not really.. She did say she would post flyers for Bodice Rippers at her sales. So that is cool.. free advertising!!

I appreciate my mom's organized mind.. it is so interesting to see how 2+2 always equals 4 in her world. Wonder what that would be like?

Just Astounded

2011-10-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

As I have previously stated my friends and I have started a book review, discussion and debate site. The three of us each bring a different perspective and talent to the table. Sandy, is an awesome researcher and can usually find information in moments..

One of the things Sandy does for the site is find interesting articles about Romantic Vampires and what's Under the Kilt and the consequences and effects of Romantic Sex Novels Which are all very very excellent articles full of fun facts and have some very interesting responses from our followers.

BUT, yesterday Sandy posted and article entitled Do Women Read More Than Men and totally blew my mind! Not the title subject because I firmly believe that women read more than men for an entire sundry of reasons.. But one line, one line has left me dumbfounded... I would say speechless but I am writing this blog so I must have something to say about it..

Among avid readers surveyed by the AP, the typical woman read nine books in a year, compared with only five for men. Women read more than men in all categories except for history and biography.

Yes, that's right an avid reader is considered someone who reads only NINE books a year. On a good week I can do that in three days.. ok, I have to have nothing to do but read and the books have to be kinda short.. but still!! I had just had a conversation with Sandy about all the 52 books in 52 weeks programs and we called them amateurs.. and giggled.. We never knew how few people could actually accomplish such a fact.

I have spent my life as an avid reader, I do not remember a time in my life when I didn't have a book in my hands.. Many of my friends would like to forget my Tolkien years but that is an entirely different story. Books have been my treasured friends my entire life. From Dr Suess, to the Phantomn Tollbooth, to Little House on the Prairie, to Poe and Shakespeare and yes Tolkien. From Mitchner to Dumas to Feehan and Kenyon.. These books have enriched my life.

Even as a single mother with four small kids and a full time job I found time to read!

With all that being said, I have to seriously thank Ms Rowling and Ms Meyers for writing such amazing stories that interested kids and teens.. and brought them back to reading. Because of such gifted authors, I see more children and teens reading than in several generations before! They have discovered that books are even better than movies.. and seriously, I love a good movie.

Lemony Snicket Explains Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-19T08:30:00.000-05:00

Thirteen Observations made by Lemony Snicket while watching Occupy Wall Street from a Discreet Distance

1. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald.

2. “Fortune” is a word for having a lot of money and for having a lot of luck, but that does not mean the word has two definitions.

3. Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.

4. People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.

5. There may not be a reason to share your cake. It is, after all, yours. You probably baked it yourself, in an oven of your own construction with ingredients you harvested yourself. It may be possible to keep your entire cake while explaining to any nearby hungry people just how reasonable you are.

6. Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.

7. Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.

8. Don’t ask yourself if something is fair. Ask someone else—a stranger in the street, for example.

9. People gathering in the streets feeling wronged tend to be loud, as it is difficult to make oneself heard on the other side of an impressive edifice.

10. It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.

11. Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.

12. If you have a large crowd shouting outside your building, there might not be room for a safety net if you’re the one tumbling down when it collapses.

13. 99 percent is a very large percentage. For instance, easily 99 percent of people want a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and the occasional slice of cake for dessert. Surely an arrangement can be made with that niggling 1 percent who disagree.

Turn Back Tuesday

2011-10-18T06:18:00.000-05:00

Yes I really was that young a very long time ago!! That was me the cute blond! Disneyland circa late 1960's

Death of a Sportsman

2011-10-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

I admit it, I follow the Indy circuit. I grew up watching the Indy 500 and really enjoy not only the races but the drivers, the families and the legends. The Death of Dan Whalen was a complete and utter shock. Today we see cars flip and twist several times mid air and the drivers walk away. We have been lulled into a false sense of security. We forget that this job is indeed dangerous.

I feel deeply for Dan's young family, for his wife who must now raise those boys alone, on stories of their dad. Who, seems to have been the kind of man you want your boys to become like. I feel for those babies who will never know their dad. Always wondering if they are like him, would he be proud of them, would he have been there for them.

I hope he has found his place nestled in God's palm. Resting from the journey and praising his deliverance.

Eye Candy

2011-10-15T09:05:00.000-05:00


Didn't want to post but thought I would share some Eye Candy with y	'all, ENJOY!

Life Goes On

2011-10-14T10:19:00.000-05:00

Does it ever amaze you that no matter how integral you are to something that if you step away from it.. Life goes on just fine without you? That in the grand scheme of things you are not all that important, after all?

I have been working on our new blogsite Bodice Rippers I had been the one to create the site. Make sure it had a daily quote, at least one blog a day, the entire layout.. I kept telling my partners that we were partners but yeah in my head this was my baby... well.. real life struck and I had to let go. You know what.. the site did not crash! Posts were made, a daily quotes was given, new followers registered.. yep every thing was smooth sailing.

The question I have to ask myself.. Was this a good thing? For the blogsite of course it is.. to know this early on that if one person stepped away the others could handle everything. No way should any one person become so important that it would crash without them. BUT from an ego thing.. well come on.. this was my baby.. and just like any mom, it matures and poof.. mom gets pushed aside for the new hipper kids..

Yes my ego was trampled just a bit and yes I had a very hard time letting go but to know that our site is starting to grow and flourish was well worth the lesson. It is like watching your child ride his two wheeler for the first time.. you know he is taking those first steps away from you but you have many years left. I am excited as all get out to see what is happening and how it is already growing.

Can't wait to see what happens next..

A Nightmare

2011-10-13T12:59:00.000-05:00

Last Tuesday while Blond Girl was at a swim meet, she laid down to rest, fell asleep and stopped breathing. When her friends attempted to wake her up she was unresponsive and CPR was administered. Fortunately, she came to and was rushed to the emergency room.

Once there all tests were negative she was "fine" and "nothing" wasw wrong. The Doctors realizing that this was just wrong.. sent her to a children's pediatric ICU at another hospital for observation. Two days later and we are still not sure what is causing the problem but we are pretty secure in knowing that her heart is fine. WHEW.

Let me tell you, I had plenty of falling apart moments in the quiet of the night while she was sleeping. Fortunately, each morning she would wake and smile... everything was fine. There were plenty of prayers that started with God you gave her to me You just can't take her away.. and yeah I know I am being selfish.. Then I would give thanks for what I do have and move on. Finally about 2am this morning I woke to angels singing in my head. A full ensemble to Because He Lives.. What a great gift God gave me. Not just a reminder that He lives but that He will take care of the details..

Turn Back Tuesday

2011-10-11T09:45:00.000-05:00

Recently on FaceBook there was a page created called.. You know you grew up in Whittier, if.... The page was opened and exploded within minutes by the end of the day it had well over 500 posts and just kept growing from there. People want to touch on their history. They want to remember the good old days or rather the days when the possible seemed impossible and yet they made it through. Was it better back then, probably not. Oh if you were a kid then of course it was, you didn't have to worry about real life issues. But in general probably not.. adults worried kids played..

But there are so many fantastic memories.. With my youngest coming closer and closer to graduation it of course brings back such memories for me. Of course back in the day, we had no clue what we were doing. There were no seminars for parents.. there were no explanations of fasfa? I am not sure there was even a fasfa. Of course I do know that while we were considered adults and our parents had no say in our education.. the government took into account how much their house and car was worth as well as their income, while deciding what you were qualified for. Thank goodness fasfa has changed just a bit. I remember all the schools I wanted to go to and then listening to my parents about what was best... why don't my kids do that?

At Whittier Christian we took football very seriously so at this time back in the fall of 1979 we were in the throws of football season. Not yet realizing what a special year it was going to be. Shoot, we hadn't even seen Scotty Varco, the drum major, dressed up as Darth Vador or Dave Carr, the tuba player, all decked out in a pink tutu.. None of that had happened yet. We were just settling in, Senior year with all it's moments was just beginning..

A Lesson Learned or Rather Learning

2011-10-10T10:51:00.000-05:00

Do you ever go to a website and really like it? Spend some time there? Maybe even join it? Interact on it? Get so comfortable that you start making suggestions as to what they could do to make it better? I have..

I always think I am being helpful, that if they don't like the suggestion they can ignore it.. usually it is one where I feel comfortable or am a member in longstanding. They say they welcome all suggestions.. Well let me tell you they don't.

I have been working hard on creating Bodice Rippers along with my two partners and believe me... I have said many times, I appreciate all the suggestions.. Yeah RIGHT!!! Last night I learned just how much I appreciated them when one of their suggestions countered my idea. It didn't help that they were right..

After days of focusing on creating this page.. Hours of exhaustion while learning basic and I mean very basic HTML.. so I can make little changes to my page (it is a blogsite template after all). Suddenly my partners think I am the expert.. *facepalm* yeah.. that's right, me the expert!! They keep coming up with these little tweaks that are wonderful.. fantastic.. and I am at that loopy stage where I either laugh myself silly or snap at them. Like I said, it doesn't help that they are usually right..

So, I have learned.. whenever I am a mere member or participant.. I am gonna sit back and attempt not to take charge.. anyone believe me?

That's Just the Way it Was

2011-10-09T04:48:00.000-05:00

Do you ever hear the phrase "That's just the way it was" and want to respond yeah, but it doesn't make it right?

As a student of history, I firmly comprehend that the way things were was not always perceived as bad. That what we would find as totally abhorrent behavior was pretty much considered the norm. I can even accept that it was and how we as a culture benefited from it. When one is generations removed, the cold clinical acceptance is easy.

But when something happened in your lifetime, when something happened was just the way it was... back when you can remember it seems to change all the dynamics. At least it does for me. I recently read an article about Darrell Brown an amazing man who managed to live with dignity and grace and remain true his convictions in the worst of circumstances.

Darrell Brown was the first African-American man who attempted to play for the Univ of Arkansas. This story sent me into tears.. rolling down my face. I am fortunate that I was raised by a woman who never recognized racism.. I never understood it and can honestly say that it has never played a part in the choices or friends I have had in my life.

I can say this as a white woman who has never had to face racism in any way shape or form. I can say and mean that the color of your skin means nothing to me. BUT.. I also understand that I was never blocked from something because of the color of my skin, never refused admittance, never watched my parents denigrated or insulted.. never saw my parents defeated, never watched my brothers refused or turned away.. So yes, while I can honestly say I am color blind I do understand that there are those who aren't. That almost can't be.. That is why this article affected me so very much. Darrell Brown rose above so much and became an amazing man.. Someone I would love to meet. Someone I would wish my children could emulate.

I watched the Univ of AR/Auburn game hoping against hope that ESPN would show this amazing half time acknowledgement.. They didn't. Shame on you ESPN!!

The Joys of Nieces

2011-10-08T06:49:00.000-05:00

I have two of the most amazing nieces! Complete and total sources of pride. They are a constant joy to me and always make me smile!

Due to the insanity of my life I have not always been able to be the fantastic, always there ready with a present Aunt. Nope, for the most part I am a voice on the phone or an email.

Thanks to email, I have been able to connect with my older niece (from now on referred to as Daisy)as she is almost 10 and has her own account now. We usually just send little one line communications but they certainly brighten my day.

Recently in one of our emails, Daisy informed me that both she and her sister (now to be referred to as Rose) both have American Girl Dolls. Now when my girls were younger their dolls had immense wardrobes mostly due to my sewing abilities.. I often made clothes for their friends and sold some of my fancier pieces. For a while it was all the rage for the my daughter's friend's dolls to have velvet capes.. all made and designed by me. So.. while talking with Daisy, I offered to make both Daisy and Rose's dolls a cape. I just needed to know what colors they wanted.

According to my sister, their conversation went something like this..

Daisy, "Rose, Auntie Shauni is going to make our dolls capes, we just need to tell her what color. I am going to have blue and silver. What color do you want?"

Rose, "Are you sure Auntie Shauni can make these?"

Daisy, "Of course she can. She made them for Word Girl and Blond Girl and all their friends!"

Rose, "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

My sister was quite offended for me. Insulted that Rose dared to question my sewing abilities.. Honestly.. It just made me giggle.. Gotta love a girl who has the sense to question when something seems too good to be true!!

The Death of Steve Jobs

2011-10-07T05:09:00.000-05:00

It is amazing what one man can do. In an age that still held some innocence Steve Jobs called the president of HP and asked for some spare parts.. and a dynasty was born! Yes that is an extreme summation of this incredible story but when you cut out all the fat there you have it.

Steve Jobs had a wonderfully creative brain, a fluid mind and was willing to think in not outside the box.. but rather he re created the box. What would our lives be without his input? Would Microsoft have happened? Would we still be using some interesting form of lotus? Oh my wouldn't that be fun?

I remember when my parents got their first home computer, yes the apple II, oh my what a monstrosity that was. But it was a huge improvement on the computer my friend had in her basement.. Yes she had this COMPUTER.. that's right floor to ceiling across the entire wall and they only had that because her dad was in the business.. No way would she have even considered using it. Suddenly, computers were in the home.. That first time we dialed into the library of congress via modem.. or chatted with a friend.. yes we actually chatted via modem the first time we played on that computer.. Of course it was soon outdated and newer and better models were made but without that first step..

Remember when you first heard the word mp3 player? Did you have a clue what it was? Not really, it wasn't until you discovered iPod that suddenly wow!! this was such a cool thing. Was iPod the first mp3 player? I really don't know.. I am not sure if it was even the best... but it was the easiest and in the end, easy trumps everything..

iPhone anyone? oh how about a nice iPad? Do you realize that India is working on a 35.00 tablet to offer to people in the poverty level.. so that they might have contact with the web... would that have happened without the iPad? and would the iPad had happened without Steve Jobs?

Maybe it would have.. who knows? But how many people have the guts to call a CEO of a major corporation and ask for spare parts? Better yet, how many of today's CEO's would even take the call, let alone send out the parts?

RIP Steve, you made a difference.. would that we all could say the same

It's Football Season!!

2011-10-06T12:42:00.000-05:00

It's my favorite time of the year!! I love football!! While I am not crazy about Pro Ball.. I love watching college ball. There is just something so cool about these young men playing the game because they love it! At this point it is about talent, skill and love of the game! Oh sure some are already jaded and feel entitled but there are so many more who just play...

I can easily spend an entire Saturday watching games and my Saturday night isn't complete without watching College Football Final on ESPN.. I am so bad I have 6 teams I watch on yahoo.. so they can just pop those scores up!!

This year, I am following USC (DUH), Oregon, Stanford, Wyoming, Boise State and Northern Illinois. I would follow Western Illinois as well but it plays football in 2A so yahoo doesn't offer it.. But that's ok, it's still fun.. A good day is when most of the teams win.. a GREAT day is when all of them do.. Of course it is hard since WY and Boise State play in the same division (fyi, I love Boise state but Blond Girl is thinking about going to WY so I have to cheer for them) and of course the USC, Oregon and Stanford are all in the PAC 12..

I also love the rare games that actually show the marching bands.. I remember when I was a kid and USC and Ohio State were in the Rose Bowl and my Dad.. THE HUGE SPORTS FAN... was just as excited about the bands. He said these were two of the best Marching Bands in the country and the half time show should be spectacular! What a great thing.. I was taught early on the importance of the players not on the football team. I am sure, he would have acknowledged the cheerleaders as well if they had evolved to the same level they have today. I guess I was lucky, I was raised by a man who honestly had a love of the game..

Amanda Knox

2011-10-05T08:37:00.000-05:00

Why is it the plight of this girl has so captured the world? Why is it, I find myself overjoyed for her family and yet still oddly worried that she may have gotten away with murder, literally?

I am oddly confused.. as a mother I have to think her parents have to be on their knees, eternally grateful to bring their baby home. To know that their child is safe and home. I don't know that I would ever allow her out of my site again..

As an American, I was happy to see the Italian Court work to right the wrongs that had occurred. Oh not the wrongs of who did what but rather the total and irrevocable lack of due process and a fair trial.

As a tv watcher, well I am all astounded that DNA isn't the miracle cure.. you know the answer to every crime.. available imediately upon request. No lengthy waits...

And yet, I look at this mess and cry for the victim.. Meredith Kercher lays ignored.. her senseless death never avenged.. Alone in a cold grave.. her parents needing to know.. deserving to know. Her brother, her family all oddly dysfunctional.. waiting and hoping.. an eternal turn on the nightmare merry go round... I hope Meredith is remembered. I hope her family is remembered..I hope justice prevails and this family can allow their child to rest.

Then and only then will I be satisfied.. Amanda Knox got a reprieve because people made mistakes.. Let's hope those mistakes lead to the right end..

Day Two

2011-10-04T07:32:00.000-05:00

Wow!! I find it amazing that I am back here, two complete days in a row.. It seems like only yesterday I was worrying if I would ever again have anything to say.. I know, run out of things to say? Highly unlikely, though it does happen.

I filled my day yesterday with total and complete, eye glazing insanity!! I started a new blog.. Yes that's right!! I was worried about not having enough to say so I started a new blog. This one is near and dear to my heart..

As many of you may know.. I enjoy Romance, PNR and Fantasy books. I have spent most of my life hiding this fact because well... everyone I know claims to not read them. Amazing isn't it? This is one of the largest genres out there and I don't know ANYONE who actually reads it? Yeah, right... Methinks, most of my friends and/or acquaintances do what I did.. buy there books then sneak off to read them like a guilty pleasure.. hidden and in silence..

Well NO MORE!! Recently, I have been hanging out on Christine Feehan's website.. she has a great forum where we are all allowed our own pages and circle of friends, much like FaceBook but for CF fans.. While there, I discovered a group of ladies who love to read the same books I do.. and we love to discuss them! Debate them! Sink our teeth into the fun of them!! A few of us decided that discussing on her site alone is not quite enough so we joined together and formed Bodice Rippers, Femme Fatales and Fantasy. Feel free to pop on over and check us out..

Beginning Over

2011-10-03T04:58:00.001-05:00

It has been so long since I posted a blog, I am going to once again consider this beginning over. There is so much to say and so little time spent on saying it. I am not sure of the direction of this particular blog.. I am thinking to keep it at my rambling best.. just a catchall of things I think and feel..d

I have already committed to writing my Juggling Teens blog on a regular basis and plan on getting back to my Shauni's Dreams that come.. Along with that I think I am going to work on a blog about my faith.. A day to day journal on my walk with Jesus.. I am not good at that.. I tend to hide my light.. keep it a a low flame hidden with in the recess of my self.. I think it is time to light the bonfire and let my light SHINE!!

I also have one more blog I am considering.. this one will be a step towards insanity.. I am going to start a blog strictly for reviewing and discussing the books I love.. I have some friends who are going to work with me and get this show on the road.. Initially, we will be working with blogspot because it just makes sense to use it to get it on it's feet.. but eventually... well again.. we shall see..

My life has never lacked ideas.. but focus and direction. I am hoping that with some prayer (ok, lots and lots of prayer) God will provide both the focus and the direction.

Oh yeah.. I am gonna be playing with the new website stuff but am not sure what I am doing so bare with me for a bit...

Talent

2011-01-08T04:00:00.000-06:00

Lately I have been considering all of the times I have wasted the talent that God gave me and how I can correct that. I was gifted with a superb imagination, an ability to turn the pictures into words and an extreme sense of whimsy. Instead of using those talents I brushed them aside.

The thing about talent is that with all things some of it can be learned. A person can learn how to play basketball but Michael Jordan taught us what it was to fly. A person who has learned a skill may actually be quite good at it, sometimes better than one with natural talent because they have worked harder to find it. A person with natural talent always seems to just find the easy way to do that one thing and often because it is easy they abuse it.

That is what I have done with my writing, my photography, my quilting, even my jewlery making. I see things, I create them and I move on but I don't really make use of my talents. I putter.. and that I fear is my sin.

"and since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us each exercise them accordingly" Romans 12:6.

Sounds like a pretty easy thing to do. Use the talents God gave you.. wow.. simple basic and yet like all things very hard to actually live up to. Honestly I know several people who actually do this day to day, year to year, decade to decade and they have had rich fulfilling lives. Perfect? I doubt it, I am sure they could give me a list as long as my arm of things that are wrong in their lives but their lives are good! They are happy better yet they are content. There isn't that constant need to find the next thing..

I have one friend who I have known since the age of 6 (well actually I have two such friends but I am only going to speak of one right now) yes I have know her for 42 years and for most of them we have had a bond of friendship that surpasses differences. She is a woman who has always inspired me, even as children she knew what she was good at and what she was going to do. She wanted to sew and boy was she ever talented. She went to fashion design school, married a lovely man and had two daughters.. she isn't a "fashion designer" no she uses her talents in every day ways. While I say she isn't a fashion designer I do know she is well established and has made dresses for events such as the Miss California Contest so she is no slouch.

Lori, has found a very simple way to follow God's word in her everyday life. She didn't listen to what the world said she should be, she listened to what God say she was/is. Because of that she inspires me, amazes me and someday if I am very lucky she will say the same thing about me.

Love ya Lori

Envy

2010-12-27T05:21:00.000-06:00

Envy is an interesting thing, it takes the most grounded of people (of which I have never ever claimed to be) and twists them until they hardly recognize themselves. Recently, I have been feeling some pretty serious case of envy for several of my old friends. I am not at a point where I get twisted up and go all evil on anyone but I get these twinges inside that hurt.

All my life all I really wanted was "that life" oh I never needed to be rich or famous (although I honestly would never have turned away from that) but I needed to be loved, needed and wanted. To be important to those around me. I have always known I was loved, at times I have realized that I was needed but rarely have I felt wanted. It is a hard burden on one's self esteem, especially when one seriously lacks self esteem.

Recently I, like many of you, have gotten in touch with old friends on facebook and I see some of their lives, the lives they created and I admit I feel envy. A strong pulling inside one time I was even moved to tears because that was supposed to be my life. Intellectually, I know that their lives are not perfect that they have trials and tribulations just like anyone else but I would love to struggle through those trials as opposed to the ones I have. I also understand that these individuals made choices that brought them there just like I made choices that brought me here. I do not want them to have less of a life I want to find out how to have that one. Of course it would be different because my history and my previous choices but still it would be good.

For now, I am working on making the right choices, to remove myself from situations that cause me inner hurt. To make sure I commit myself to my faith and my God. Not just token words but to actually live what I believe. I have failed to do so over many years and each day is a constant struggle to make the right choice. I don't know if I will ever be part of one of those relationships, honestly I don't know if I am capable of it. I do know I do something to repel people over time. but I yearn.

In the meantime, I am choosing to remember a basic commandment

Exodus 20:17

“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.”

Go UCONN

2010-12-22T03:13:00.000-06:00

I am a huge sports fan and even more so a huge fan of college sports. I was raised to appreciate them. My parents tell the story of my dad asking my mom (the non sports fan) on their first date, to go see the 7' basketball player, a freshman at UCLA then known as Lou Al Cinder.

I was blessed in the fact that my dad loved sports but he also loved his children, all of us. We did not understand the dynamics of male/female athletes. The better player played. Well in our games we all played but we were never told that we were not any good because of gender. I remember watching UCLA, I remember them winning honestly for years and I mean years I thought there really wasn't another college basketball team worth watching. I think I was in my late 20's before I found out that UCLA wasn't considered the best and that there were other premier teams.

When UCONN first came on to the scene back in the 90's I enjoyed their rise to stardom. They were not just good they were sexy. They were ladies any young girl could look up to and appreciate. The sad fact is they were attractive, because we all know in women's sports you don't get to just be the best you must be the most attractive (thank you Don Imes, even if everyone seemed to miss that part of the insult). And the UCONN girls were just that, attractive.

What gets lost so often is they are more than pretty girls who play basketball they are the best. They have accomplished something that NO OTHER college basketball team has accomplished. Not a single one. WOW!!

We, the sports fans of America should be cheering these ladies on. We should be showering them with accolades and watching them with awe. I know many are and sadly I also know that there are many who will push them back to mere girl status. All I can say is too bad for those who do that. Too bad for any who attempt to diminish this amazing accomplishment to a gender thing. These girls are awesome athletes, awesome competitors and awesome winners.

Congratulations UCONN you did good.

ps.. this blog is dedicated to Sarah who doesn't play basketball but does go to UCONN so I had to give her a shout out.

Time to Post

2010-12-21T00:45:00.000-06:00

It has been so very long since I kept up my regular blog that it actually feels wierd sitting here typing but it is time to get off my laziness (I would say lazy rear but since I am typing I am still on said rear) and get back to blogging.

It has been an interesting and eventful year for me. I have been working on just developing who I am and where I am headed. I have worked on reconnecting with the faithful and maintaining relationships. It seems the years of my marriage were spent in hiding and the years after were spent in habitual hiding. Not that I ever wasn't front and center rather I was emotionally distant. I put up the wall and kept everyone at arms length. Let me tell you it made for a very lonely time. In a strange way facebook has been part of my salvation. I have been able to re connect with friends and see what they are doing and how their lives are progressing.

After reading about their lives I find I am envious. I do not like to feel envy that others have wonderful fulfilled lives. I understand that none of their lives are perfect but many of them have the life I wanted. I had to ask myself, how did they get these lives? As far as I can see, most of them got it by listening to God and following His plan for their lives. Unlike me, the queen of yes I understand Your plan but can I tweak it just a bit? I have to think God just shakes his head and waits to see how I am gonna mess up a perfectly good plan this time.

It is hard for me to just follow direction. A lesson I definitely need to learn. I like the big picture but to follow the map is somehow beyond me. I need to get on that. Anyway, I am getting ever so tired of banging my head against the wall and have finally stopped to listen.

My church has this fabulous over 40's program that I dream of attending. I do not have a car and getting there will be a challenge. I am hoping it is God's will that I attend and somehow I get there. To be able to interact with like minded Christian adults would be fabulous. A few of my friends have pointed out that this is a form of singles fellowship and yes I agree that is so but it isn't for the dating factor that I want to interact with others who have some of the same life issues. Someone who gets the bone deep loneliness of being a single parent of being without a part of me.

I know there are many who thrive on being an individual and I am certainly that but I am also by nature a pack creature. I am not a lone wolf I am an alpha wolf.. sorta. I think my personality has confused many because while I have no problem caring for myself and my kids in a completely unique and totally non traditionally manner, I do need to be able to lean, to find that person to rely on.

Had I waited upon God's plan instead leaping into the big picture I would have had all that, instead I have what I have made. I have great kids and I am very proud of them. I am just so thankful that they are in my life and I can not see doing anything that would have changed having them but it would have been nice to not be so missing something the entire time I was raising them.

They are growing and almost gone and in a way so am I. In a way, I wait, I am waiting to see where the road leads and where God plans me to be. I hope and yes I hope it is part of something special, something good, something precious but if not I can only be grateful that He allowed me to be part of the amazing lives of my children. That I had that something special but still I yearn.. so let's see where the adventure leads.

A Fall Fundraiser

2010-08-24T21:04:00.001-05:00

Our local High School Band will be going on a trip this fall.. we are throwing a fall fundraiser.. while I know most of you can not come, I thought that maybe you might want to consider donating to our fund raiser. Any person or company that donates will be mentioned in our advertising as well as thanked prominently at the actual event

To Whom It May Concern:

The Fenton High School Music Department will be traveling to San Antonio, Texas in the spring of 2011 on a trip of music education, responsibility, camaraderie, and fun. The experience of travel is one of a lifetime for most and can be a reality with your help.

The promotion of professionalism in music and the reward for countless efforts and hard work can create a lifetime of memories for the students in our community. Our community’s music students will have the opportunity of performing at the famed Alamo while on this trip, they will also be visiting such locations as Sea World, a Dude Ranch and enjoying a stroll along the famous San Antonio Riverwalk. There’s not too much time for sleep, but what a unique opportunity.

In the past, several students were not able to attend because of financial burden. Many Children have never had the opportunity to travel and this trip will provide a new and exciting experience for them. Due to the educational value of this experience, we, the Fenton Band Boosters, are making every effort to decrease that number. Every member of the band and choir has and will continue to raise funds through numerous fundraising opportunities to raise money for their trip expenses. With their efforts and yours, maybe we can avoid leaving anyone at home.

The Fenton Band Boosters will be hosting a Cocktail Dance on Friday November 5, 2010 as a formal fund raiser. At the dance we will have a Band, which is lead by a former Fenton Band Member. There will be raffles and door prizes. We ask that you, as extended members of the Fenton Community, reach into your hearts to help support these wonderful kids. We would appreciate any items that you would like to donate to help these raffles. They could be movie tickets, pool passes, dinner at your restaurant, a night at your establishment, tickets to the ball game or the Opera. We would appreciate anything you have to offer. If you feel you are unable to donate a product for the raffle but would still like to help out we would gladly accept any cash donations. All profits will go to the kids in order to make this trip the best that Fenton has ever had. Our goal is to raise $200.00 per student to offset costs. We would appreciate any donation possible.

We are aiming to have all donations received by October 15th so that we may incorporate your tremendous generosity into our program. For more information, please contact me at Shaunispeaks@yahoo.com and I will provide you with a mailing address to better expedite your donation. Also all donations will be tax deductible.

Thank you in advance for your support! With your help and generosity for our music program, we will continue to contribute to the growth and development of our future leaders!

Sincerely,

Shauni
Chairperson Fall Fundraiser
Fenton High School
Band Booster Liaison

Sometimes Life Just Cracks Me Up

2010-06-18T00:32:00.000-05:00

So I was a little bored tonight and was skimming through yahoo.. Sometimes it is fun to see what is trending. I noticed that The Blues Brothers came up. Now the Blues Brothers is a movie that ran pretty much nonstop for years in our household. The ex was a huge music fan and the movie is fun.The kids can all quote from it, almost as much as from The Princess Bride but that is another story.

Since I saw it was trending I went to see what was up.. Did you know that the Vatican has placed it on it's list of movies recommended for catholics? Here is a quote... "On the 30th anniversary of the film's release, "L'Osservatore Romano," the Vatican's official newspaper, called the film a "Catholic classic" and said it should be recommended viewing for Catholics everywhere." Seriously everyone stop laughing! All because Jake and Elroy were on a mission for God..

This movie has been placed on the list along with such movies as Cecil B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments," "Jesus of Nazareth" from Franco Zeffirelli," Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ," Victor Flemming's "Joan of Arc," and "It's a Wonderful Life" from Frank Capra. Yes a list of classics to be sure but now it also includes The Blues Brothers!!

I suppose it is great to see that sometimes just plain fun and good music do matter but I am still sitting here and giggling!

2010-06-12T22:39:00.000-05:00

So Word Girl and I were off to orientation this week. I must admit it was an arduous journey but we did manage to have some fun...

The adventure started on Wednesday when we realized that I needed an ID as mine had been expired I obvious needed a new one. Fortunately a good friend managed to find the time to fit me into her incredibly busy schedule and drop me off at the DMV then pick me up an hour later. Who knew going to the DMV could be fun? Somehow I managed to get the lady behind the counter with my sense of humour and we managed to laugh through the entire event. Can you believe I had a good time at the DMV? Ok that is an altogether different story. Of course I had not realized that fees had gone up and Drivers licenses were now $30.00 not a huge biggee but I had this trip planned to the penny and that was eating into my pennies..

Bright and early Thursday morning we were up for our taxi to get to the train station to get downtown. We arrived at our local station early which of course means we were able to get the earlier train.. only problem there we were rushed buying our tickets and instead of buying round trip we bought one way.. oh well we could get them coming back. Upon arrival at Union Station Word Girl started to stress about how we would miss our train or not get seats together or whatever.. so we bought a quick breakfast and went immediately to the Amtrak station needless to say we were way early, they hadn't even started to board the train that left before us. So we waited.. Finally we got on board and of course there were plenty of seats. It was a lovely ride just short of 4 hours and no hassles I really enjoyed this part.

When we got to Macomb we decided to walk to school, I had tried to find out bus info but it was too confusing online (not too much later I would find myself wishing I had done better research). The walk to the school was pleasant and not too far BUT once we reached the campus was an entirely different story. The campus is lovely it is placed upon rolling hills.. not mountains and not huge climbs but hills none the less. I thought I was gonna die.. it was HOT, HUMID and Hilly... of course the fact that I am ridiculously out of shape and overweight didn't help. By the time we were about 1/3 of the way I knew I was in trouble so I decided to mortify my daughter and ask a school employee for help. The lovely woman gave us a ride AND a mini tour of the campus. Then dropped us off at our location. Once checked in I met a family that had found the bus route.. believe me I remembered them later.. lol

The day was long.. lots of informative meetings by the last one though a migraine was setting in.. long day, no sleep, almost collapsing in the heat and not eating for one reason or another and my head was about to explode.. fortunately dinner started and we could take a break.. there were more meetings in the evening but Word Girl sweetly (and yes she was actually sweet) told me to rest and then come downstairs when they had the end of the evening fun.. I did so had a fun time, enjoyed watching my daughter interact, she is so like me.. the girls like her but she just automatically seems to connect with the males of the species.. not romantically but in friendship..

Then next morning, breakfast then more sessions.. Finally ending around 4. We waited for our bus at 5:30 which took us to the train and met our train at 6:18.. Of course during the wait more drama ensued.. ooops Word Girl hadnt realized that some of the money I had put on her card was for the trip so she had spent it. We had enough left for the metra ride home from Union Station IF they accepted debit cards.. of course by the time we found out it would be too late a phone call home got the ball rolling and a friend dropped 30 in her account (not that we knew this part as we were on the train with out good cell service).

When we reached Union Station we heard an announcement saying the train that was supposed to leave BEFORE we got in was leaving in 5 minutes we ran.. First towards the ticket station. Now since we weren't sure what they would accept and or if the money was in her account I stopped a man explained the situation and he gave us 10.00. So either way we were fine. Of course they took Visa and all of Word Girls worries were nothing but drama for the event.. but hey such is life. We made the train which involved me running Word Girl says I didn't run I waddled but hey my feet and knees thought I was running.

Our taxi was waiting at the train station another woman needed a ride to a place more or less on the way. She asked if we would share.. hello, nice lady at Western, Friend who deposits in account and Nice Stranger who gives us 10.00? OF COURSE we would share.. Got home and crashed.. It was a long two days.

ALL I can say about this trip really is..

1.Western does a nice job with their orientations sometimes they repeat themselves in different sessions but I would rather hear it twice than not at all.

2. Make sure you find out all transportation issues before embarking..

3. and this should be 1. Praise God for taking care of me.. I can be an airhead at times but God ALWAYS manages to make sure I am cared for..

4. Be sure and pay it forward.. there are many people out there who need a simple and often easily accomplished helping hand.

Disgusted by Poor Service at Papa Johns

2010-05-27T22:54:00.000-05:00

Recently I placed an order at Papa John's Pizza and was totally offended by their service ethics. We as a family order pizza quite regularly.. way too often as a matter of fact but we do so. We usually eat at the less expensive places because face it the others cost way too much! We have tried Papa John's, Pizza Hut and Dominoes.. We each have a preference but Papa John won out because 1, it cost less and 2, they sold Diet Coke.. Their recent escapades have lost them our business, guess I will be going back to Pizza Hut.

A couple of weeks ago we placed an order at Papa John's the order included a 2 liter of Diet Coke. Now it was expensive for soda but they were delivering and I was out. When the order came the driver was very apologetic because they had run out of 2 liters of Diet Coke so they sent 3 20oz individual sodas.. Now you do the math... a 2 liter has 64 oz in it. I was needless to say shorted but what the heck I let it go.

The next week we once again placed an order this time it included two 2 liters of Diet Coke.. Once again the driver came along properly apologetic holding up his bag of 20 oz sodas. Fortunately for me... the bag only held 3 bottles, I had ordered two 2 liters so I sent him back.. Explaining that I expected 4 bottles as I should not be shorted because they ran out of soda. He came back a little later with 4 bottles.

Tonight I placed another order at for the same thing.. Low and behold they were once again out of Diet Coke and once again the driver came along properly apologetic with his 6 20 oz bottles. So once again I was shorted. I became fed up and told the driver, politely as it wasn't his fault the manager likes to cheat his customers, that Papa John's no longer had my business. That I refused to do business with a store that so lacked business ethics...

This irks me on two levels.... one they have been out of Diet Coke 2 liter bottles for over two weeks.. What is there a shortage of Diet Coke that I was unaware of? If they really have such problems could they not scoot over to Wal Mart (which is like 5 minutes away) and buy some.. I mean they have them on sale for 99cents there. The store could still make a ridiculous profit on their Diet Soda. The second reason it bothers me is because they refuse to understand that the customer should not be so inconvenienced.. I mean basic customer service would allow for the costumer to be over compensated not under. When I tried to call the store I was left on hold for well over 30 minutes.. How do they run a business when they don't take their phone calls and they short their customers?

Well it doesn't matter to me because I am no longer a customer

Who Am I??

2010-05-18T23:56:00.000-05:00

I know so often we stand up look around and wonder not only how in the heck did we get there but who the heck are we.. There are those who are famous for reinventing themselves, most of the time we see celebrities who have mastered this. This is seen by society as a great asset, a means to longevity and an amazing talent in and of itself. But one has to wonder if all that reinventing makes them loose part of themselves and then one day they look in the mirror and the very essence of who and what they are is gone. Not even they recognize themselves.

Sometimes I feel that way, I wonder what steps I took that led me to be sitting here feeling alone and afraid. Alone because those that belong in my life I pushed away and those that I want there really don't belong. Alone because I am a social creature by nature I need to be surrounded by friends, family, etc.. somehow along the line I have become the social pariah.. you know the family joke... Oh I know I am loved, even liked but seriously who wants to just hang out with a failure now that isn't me being pitiful , sheesh I have failed in so very many endeavors that I may hold a record. Afraid, because if I stand up for who and what I am I may be alone.. oh wait, aren't I already alone? Well that makes like no sense at all.

When I was a kid I was Shauni, I was a smiling, laughing, musical child. I always had a song (usually a Girl Scout or Camp Song) in my heart. I heard laughter in the sorrows of my life. I liked Shauni, in general most people liked Shauni.. She was fun, athletic, smart, creative, assertive, strong in her personal belief.. of course she was also petrified of failing, never felt she was good enough and constantly felt unloved and overly emotional. Over the years I decided to eliminated Shauni's failings, I wanted her to be strong, independent, tough, not caring what others thought of her.

One of the steps I took was to start going by Shaughnessey (my given name.. yes it is my first name) I thought Shaughnessey said strong, unique, fearless, tough and oh yeah no one said Shaughnessey was a cute name. I became Shaughnessey but somehow I lost or squashed Shauni.. Shauni died a sad and lonely death. Her heart, her voice, her song was silenced. I never wrote, I never sang, I never cried. Oh there are those who spent a lifetime telling me to not be so sensitive but it took a lifetime for me to realize I am sensitive.. if I stop being so sensitive I amputate part of who I am. I close off a piece of my heart and face it God made me sensitive, God gave me my character traits He expected me to use them to Glorify Him..

One day I looked in the mirror and saw the person I had reinvented myself to be.. and not only did I know recognize myself, I didn't like the person I saw. She was bitter, angry, alone, demanding, selfish, self-centered and more than a little judgmental. That is so not who I am and certainly not who I want to be. I find after a lifetime I like Shauni way more than I like Shaughnessey.

I found myself on my knees begging forgiveness for the arrogance of my life and the total failure I had made of it. I finally just said what I had said once so long ago, I surrender all. Now Shaughnessey has a really hard time letting go, she has become a strong part of me and I have to ask God to teach me how to incorporate the good in Shaughnessey back into Shauni.

Don't get me wrong I don't want to turn back time.. I don't want to be teenage Shauni again, I mean shoot what woman on the face of the earth wants to go back to be a teenager, all those hormones and angst.. I want to be Shauni who learned her lesson, who incorporates God's grace in her heart, her life, her very essence. I want to be the Shauni who rejoices in the gifts she has been given, I have no plans to kick Shaughnessey by the wayside (I kinda like the name after all) but I want to once again hold that song in my heart..

When I started this blog I was slowly rambling in that direction, I mean Shauni is such a cute name... lol, it is funny how our perspectives change.. Maybe it should be called the evolution of Shauni, God's evolution not Darwin's cuz well God's makes so much more sense.

Anyway to answer my question... Who Am I??

I am God's child,
my mother's daughter
my children's mother
a blogist,
a poet,
a photographer
a sensitive soul
I am beloved...
I am Shaughnessey
I am Shauni evolved

Nice to meet you all

The Preakness

2010-05-15T23:16:00.000-05:00

Today was The Preakness Race in Maryland. I love watching the race it is so exciting, so much enthusiasm, listening to the announcer who I still haven't figured out how they can figure out which horse is doing what. It is just great fun.

I know there are many who will go on about how it isn't a sport, well you try staying on something that large and going that fast and not call it a sport. I know there are some who call it abuse, maybe I disagree but there are those who have that opinion.

Me, I call it a great childhood memory. I went to Santa Anita Race Track pretty regularly with my grandma and my great-grandma and occasionally my mom. Just think four generations of women enjoying the track. Makes you giggle doesn't it? My Great-Grandma always bet on Willie Shoemaker if he was riding. My Grandma would get so frustrated with her.. "Mother, there are other jockeys just as good". You have to understand my Grandma to really appreciate the sentiment she was such a no nonsense woman until it came to dealing with my Great-Grandma.. guess some things never change, girls and their mothers.Now my mother was worse, she bet the horse who had the prettiest silks. Again so out of character, my mother is so very logic based and picking a horse by it's color? Grandma, she read the sheet, figured the odds and placed her bet. Me, I sorta just went on a feeling. Drove everyone nuts cuz I usually won. Honestly in my entire life I have never gone home from the track with less than I went with.

The Triple Crown was obviously something we would watch and yes back in the day Willie Shoemaker raced in it. So today was The Preakness, the second jewel of the Triple Crown. Sadly the Derby winner didn't win so no Triple Crown Winner again this year. Before the race the trainer was asked if he thought that his horse would win the triple crown, he smiled and said "well, He's the only one who can". Oh the wit.

I know this was just a babbling, a mixture of today and yesterday but sometimes it is fun to remember those snippets from your past and share them with others. Goodness knows the kids are tired of the stories..

A Sunday Past

2010-05-09T10:51:00.001-05:00

Recently I was sitting in church and just enjoying the ambiance. I like church, I like the quiet moments beforehand, the music and the sermon. I feel being in church grounds me, gives me focus and fuels me for the upcoming week. While I was sitting there I started to think of why I liked church so much.

It dawned on me that one of the reasons I enjoyed church so much is the fantastic memories it held. When I was a kid I went to church with my grandparents, it was a small church hardly any members really a handful or two of families but it had a great Sunday school program and an even better vacation bible school. Every summer they would gather all the neighborhood kids and their friends and have day camp that celebrated Christ through games, songs and stories. And of course Bible verses, usually they held competitions for those who brought the most guests and memorized the most verses.. me being the competitive sort, well....

As I got older I switched to a church my friend recommended, it was fabulous a large congregation with music and great teen programs. This will always be the church of my heart. We had young youth directors and choir directors they got us. Soon church became the complete focus of my Sundays. I would be up for Sunday School at 9:30 and church at 11:00, each age group had their own place to sit. The junior high kids sat up front to the right. Had their own little "in" section I don't think it ever dawned on any of us that we were right there in front for the parents to keep an eye on and the Pastor to was able to make eye contact... hmm sneaky weren't they? As we aged and matured and made it to High School we sat in the balcony. I guess we could be trusted by that point.. who knows? In the evenings we had a 6:00 service that was mellower and more intimate then after church we would attend what we called an afterglow. This was time where we would get together in small groups usually by age and interact, sometimes they involved bible study and others we went to Polly's for Pie. It was just a way to spend more time together. To soak energize us for the week ahead.

I have such great memories of that church, I laugh because until I was 16 if I couldn't get a ride my parents would drive me and drop me off. Now you would think this would not be such a huge chore but well.. Sunday service was supposed to get out at noon, needless to say it NEVER did. Pastor would go on and then we would have an alter call, then of course we had to chat. I rarely got out of there before 12:45 1:00. This drove my dad absolutely nuts. Every time he would pick me up he would go on and on about wasting his time and buying the pastor a watch. To this day I swear one of the happiest days of my Dad's life was when I got my license and was able to drive myself to and from church. I don't think he ever minded handing me those car keys.. At least not on Sundays..

We had this fabulous youth choir that went on yearly trips, we went to the Navajo reservation one year, toured the East Coast one summer and the West the next and finally ended up in Hawaii. Now me being me I was very active. I loved everything about this place and these people but my favorite memory came years later. When I had moved to the Midwest and had come home for a visit. I went to church on Sunday Morning and sat in a pew. Of course I was a visitor then and hadn't been there for Over 10 years. It turns out the woman I sat next to recognized me, it was the Pastor's wife. She told me please make sure I stayed around because she was sure Pastor would want to say hello. That totally surprised me as I was never anyone special. We had a large congregation, my parents weren't active.. all I had ever been was another teenager to pass through those doors. No matter, when the alter call came I slipped out to get my kids then I was going to come back to the main Sanctuary when Pastor was free. Before I could get to children's section I heard my name being called and there was Pastor running through the halls of the church, making sure I didn't leave before he said hello. I don't think I ever told him how special he made me feel. How precious I felt.. Like I said I was no one special, just a girl who went to that church and yet both the pastor and his wife remembered me enough to want to say hello and welcome home.

I think that cemented my feelings about the importance of church in my life. I know I didn't attend for a few years and believe me I was not a happy camper. I felt hollow and left out. It is really nice to know after all these years I have found a place that gives me that same feeling. That place of peace and rejuvenation. I believe one can worship God anywhere and one should but church is a place of fellowship and community. A place where we can rest our weary souls and lean upon others. I think the number one failing people have with church is that they don't find the right place, the right group of people to interact with. I remember Pastor welcoming visitors to our church and saying "now if you don't feel comfortable here, don't stop coming to church, I have the numbers for the Baptist and Lutheran churches just down the block and I can get you any other one you want." To me that said, we are here to worship God and offer fellowship not win a popularity contest. I don't know why but that always made me feel at home.

I have no clue as to why I wanted to write this on Mother's day but there you have it....

Happy Mothers Day all you Moms out there

Poor Conan..... NOT

2010-05-01T02:33:00.000-05:00

Call me unsympathetic but I am really tired of listening to how Conan O'Brien got the shaft. This spoiled child has lost all of my respect and I seriously doubt I will ever watch another of his shows again. The bottom line is the man wasn't doing the job his boss thought he should be doing so he got fired. It happened to a lot of us these past few years, some of us for much less obvious reasons. And frankly how many of us got a kazillion dollar severance package when we went. Most of us were lucky if our unemployment wasn't contested.

Conan was offered a job that he really didn't fit into. I mentioned this before he moved not that anyone did or should have listened to me. But face it folks there is a reason why Jay Leno has consistently won the late night wars. People like him, his humor is middle of the road. No snarky avant garde humor for him. No, just basic stuff that feeds to the masses an easy way to say good night. Now I am not saying Conan wasn't funny, I watched his show regularly and when he moved I watched it to but it was lacking. Conan didn't account for the fan base, he just assumed everyone would find him funny. Hello all you people out there we have more than the west and east coast to entertain.. we have an entire nation in between.. we have many more than teenagers and trendy 20 somethingers we have older people, people who enjoy a relaxing chuckle in the evening.. people who don't find the masturbating bear all that funny.

Arrogance is not attractive in our tv late show personality. Another reason I am fed up with the whiner is lets face it, the man went from college to writing on SNL and The Simpson's to late night comedy. He didn't spend a lifetime working for it, he has no clue what the masses like. He didn't have to walk into an empty room or a bomb in a crowd. Nope he had the keys to the kingdom handed to him. Jay Leno works darn hard for his livelihood, way harder than he needs to at this point and I am sure there are plenty who can give me a list of things wrong with him but he doesn't whine he works... Conan and his feelings of entitlement suck. In his latest interview he says he wouldn't have done this to Jay... wait a minute didn't he? Jay Leno did not ASK to leave the tonight show, no Conan was making noises about leaving late night and NBC cooked up this fiasco, initially it was Jay who was supposed to be out in the cold. Jay who at the time and ever since had the number one show but Conan wanted it and Conan got it.. Too bad so Sad it didn't work out for him.

Now Conan will land on his feet in an appropriate environment but it won't be the Tonight Show.. He doesn't have what the regulars want.. Jimmy Fallon may though. He gets that earnest simple humor even when he is being silly and late night appropriate.. but that is for way down the road. Until then I say Break a Leg Jay.. and if he keeps whining make it Conan's.. No not really. Conan enjoy the advantages you have and remember you have it WAY better than most.

Immigration Bill

2010-04-30T10:47:00.000-05:00

What a difficult topic, sure to divide and destroy. The thing about immigration is I am totally divided on this topic. I can see both sides to a very difficult issue and if I am divided even by myself how difficult is it for the entire country?

The fact is historically this influx of immigration is actually quite circular and has occurred several times in our past, with the Chinese in the 1870's and with the Irish in the early 1800's both times we fought to limit immigration claiming too many came over, they stole our jobs and did nothing to add to society. Both times we were wrong what is to say we are right this time?

I know a man, an uncle to a childhood friend who crossed the border on the engine of a car, not hidden in the trunk or under the car no he came over hidden on the engine.. Can you imagine the pain that he must have born? To this day he bears the scars of his choice. I have a friend whose mother crossed the border in labor so she could have her child in this country in order to have a better life. I have been in labor trust me that is not an easy feat. How can we as a nation not embrace such people? People who will do anything to improve their lots in life? People who have made a difference in the lives of so many? I know both of them impacted my life.

And yet, I resent hearing of people who come here and DEMAND their constitutional rights. Demand they be given the same rights as those who live and die here. I know as a single parent I do not qualify for many benefits yet when I go to a food pantry or apply for assistance I see in the parking lot expensive cars of people who do not even speak my language and they qualify for the same things that I a citizen do not. It is very frustrating. I find that I resent hearing of someone who breaks our laws then finds a way to get an entire legislature on their side because they are being persecuted. Hey I am a taxpaying American citizen get on my side for a few minutes.

Then of course there is the case of the children... I know a girl, a lovely, delightful, intelligent girl. She has been in this country since she was about 18 months. She did not choose to come here but she did. She was raised here, educated here and wants to stay in what she truly considers here country and yet she is considered an illegal immigrant.. Shoot, she is about as Mexican (and that is her nationality I am not picking on any one country) as my daughter. She is a typical American teenager... trust me I have watcher her grow up. She wants to go to college and have a career but she is limited in her choices because she is not considered legal. To send her "back" to Mexico would be a joke the only thing she has in common is she speaks the language. Again so does my 18 year old daughter.

I guess my main grief is that our laws are being formulated by those who do not care for this country. I am sick of hearing how the president of Mexico says we should make certain things available to the people of his country. Hello, make it available yourself. Fix your country not ours.. We have a responsibility to our citizens not yours.. I know if we went to Mexico and wanted to live there, we could not own land (we could own the structure but not the land) we would have to have a Mexican National co-own the property with us. We could not get free education or free medical. Hmmmmm, the way I see it is if we provide such things for them then they should offer us the same. That is good neighbor policy. Right now our policy seems more like that of a parent appeasing a spoiled child..

Please note, I know there are many many many individuals that come to this country because they DREAM.. and I want to help them with their dreams but I wish their dreams could be realized without putting a burden on us. I know there will be those who say I am ignorant or prejudiced when actually I am neither.. well I may not be as "wise" and informed as I would like to be but I do have an open mind and I am willing to listen to the plight of the undocumented. My grandfather's family were immigrants and my grandmother's first language was Spanish so I do understand. It is just neither of them ever felt entitled to anything. They worked.. oh man they worked... for everything they had and they followed the rules in doing so. I guess that is the main point.. They followed the rules.. and yet earlier I wrote a blog about a woman named Vivian who broke laws because it was the right thing to do...

See, if I am confused about the issue of immigration as a individual, if I can see both sides with clarity how can the government be any less confused?

Sometimes I Just Don't Get It

2010-04-22T06:34:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned in the past I am an avid football fan. I like the NFL but I LOVE college ball. I follow several teams finding my favorites every year. Over the past few years I have enjoyed watching Tim Tebow become the fabulous player he is. I know there are many who think he will flop in the NFL for any number of reasons but today I read an article that totally ticked me off.

Please remember the NFL is an organization that allows convicted man slaughterers on their rosters, who allows players to pretty much get away with anything as long as they don't get press (and that has only changed in the past few years) but they feel that Tim Tebow may be a polarizing athlete because he stands firm and is vocal about his faith. He does not cram it down the throats of others but he does stand firm in his personal belief. That it seems is offensive to many in the NFL. Let me tell you right now if that is the reason Tim or as Word Girl affectionately calls him, Timmy, is not drafted then the NFL has lost me forever.

I read this article and frankly I was appalled. Basically it tells us that he may not be drafted because he is a Christian who stands for his belief. How did this country come to this? Where we are ashamed of those who take a stand for Christ? I know we idolize the unfit often but here is a gracious, attractive, charismatic, talented young man and because he devoted these attributes to God there are those who want him to fall. Now if he is like any other Christian he will stumble, he will make mistakes, too bad that if and when it happens the media will rejoice and make sure the entire world knows it.

Ok, I have said enough, I just needed to vent

New Books

2010-04-20T12:36:00.000-05:00

I love summer, even when I am working I love summer. There is just so much about it that says put on your suit, grab your beach stuff and head off, time to play. Of course to me that means go play in the ocean, a difficult thing when one lives in the Midwest. When I can not head for the ocean I grab a book and the very best part about summer is all those lovely new books that come out!!

In case anyone wondered I am a book fanatic.. in a way reading is my drug of choice, there is absolutely nothing better than a good book. I am one of those that will reread a good book, something that has been known to drive my mother crazy... but that is just a side benefit. I re read books because when I read I am standing right there next to the characters and they become my friends. I am interested in them and occasionally want to go back and visit them. That of course makes me a huge lover of sequels, then I get new stories and get to touch on the lives of "friends" I have already made.

Since I am such a huge reader I thought I would share a few of the authors I love. Most of them either have a book coming out or just did.

Sherrilyn Kenyon... not for the logical minded.. what a GREAT author, she has several series out right now. I first fell in love with her as Kinley Macgregor when she was writing a historical fiction series but stumbled onto her Dark-Hunter series. Oh my goodness, the woman is brilliant. This is a series that brings, Greek Mythology (actually she uses several different pantheons but in the beginning it is mostly greek) a unique and interesting twist on the vampire genre and takes us on a most intriguing ride. She also has a few other series out which I would recommend. In short if she wrote it, I suggest you read it.

Christine Feehan... another prolific writer who currently has 4 series running. The only downfall to so many series is that you have to wait an entire year before the next book in a series comes out. She too has a twist on vampires, her Carpathian Series, is sensual, intriguing and downright captivating. Another author I suggest you read, just because she is good. But she too is not one for the overly logical.. Which means I wouldn't recommend my mom read it.

Other authors that are fun... Julie Garwood and Elizabeth Lowell. Julie is one of those writers who just cracks me up. In her earlier historical work, I was constantly thinking the hero had to be banging his head against the wall at the total insanity of the characters around him. I would just giggle... Elizabeth Lowell has some pretty great books out there, I would warn you though she is a tease, she creates these fabulous characters then leaves one or two without a story and moves on to a new series. Being the person I am it keeps me hoping for a book for those lost folks. Both of these authors write in what I call the romantic suspense genre... kinda like a Bogart film, the story is great and the romance intertwines with the plot.. not the plot is the romance.

Nalini Singh and Alyssa Day are two of my newer favorites. Both have a great series running and I am enjoying them immensely. Nalini has a series set in the future about, psychics, shape changers and humans... an interesting intertwining of the three. and Alyssa is another one who brings ancient myths to current times as she writes about warriors of Atlantis...

Jacquelyn Frank, Alexis Morgan, Christina Dodd, Gaelon Foley, Stephanie Laurens, Karen Marie Moning, Jayne Anne Krentz and all her aka's, Lisa Kleypas and the ever prolific Nora Roberts.

The only problem with reading for me is I read too darn fast.. yes I know many of you say the same but I inhale new books, once I start reading I can not put a book down until it is finished. Whether it is a Math book, a dictionary (ok, pushing it) or a novel. I LOVE reading. I suppose the benefit about reading fast is I usually finish a book the day I get it so I can put it down sooner than if I read slowly. And yes the day I get it.. I am not exaggerating.

Whatever happens I know this summer will be filled with exciting stories and crazy characters and when life gets too insane I will have a good book to hide in.

Vivian

2010-04-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up we had a friend of the family, she was this strong, determined, opinionated woman. Sometimes she terrified me and others she just seemed a bit odd. Her son and my oldest uncle became friends in school and as it sometimes happens their mothers bonded. Please not the description I used for Vivian is accurate for my grandma, not that I would ever have called her odd. They were both tough old birds, in a by gone time they would have been referred to as touch broads and it would have been a compliment. My mom swears the only reason they remained such good friends is because Vivian was the only person who didn't take any crap from my grandma.

Vivian was also on the outskirts of my life when I was a child, she owned a flower ranch right next to a cemetery and when we could or needed to we were allowed to work there on weekends for cash. When I was very little (like so young I don't remember) we actually lived on the ranch. Not that it was really a flower ranch but that is what we called it. I remember as a very young child going over to the cemetery to place flowers on the graves for people as that was a service that was offered to regular clients. I also remembered getting really huffy because my brother was allowed to stand on the street corner and sell flowers and I wasn't (that is where the good tip money was) but as an adult I realize that was never going to happen, hello 10, 11 year old girl standing on a corner unsupervised leaning into strangers cars? Even in those days of semi innocence that was not done.

Vivian and her husband also owned property in Wrightwood (a nearby community in the mountains) which we were allowed to use occasionally. So we got some snow time in. No I always called her Vivian but he was Mr. , I suppose looking back that should have told me something. But as a child he always seemed to be in the background and she was larger than life. He passed away either late in my childhood or my early teens and she moved on to Hemit, where I discovered the Ramona Pageant. What a fantastic event! Their grandchildren were two of my closest childhood friends and to this day I am one of the few who is allowed to refer to the grandson by his nickname, well last we spoke at least.

The thing about Vivian was she was this amazing woman, I believe she was a teacher but I am not sure. What I do know is I wish I had known more then because I never knew her at all. It turns out that when most of the world was ignoring Hitler and then slowly started to fight, They were one of those families crossing Europe and delivering those under persecution into safety. I just heard this story in passing a few years after she died and I have regretted ever since then not knowing before. The stories we lost about these amazing people of course to them they were just doing what was right, which of course makes them even more amazing. These two people he was rather quiet and assuming (although later I was told he ran the roust) and she was this strong dominate woman (amazing what a child sees isn't it?). Yet they made such life altering changes for so very many people, they actually changed lives. They made a difference and I wish I had the chance to sit down with them and hear their stories.

I suppose that is one of the reasons for this blog, as we loose our elders we loose generations of oral history. We as a society are no longer an oral one, we are hardly a written one as we tend to need media to tell our stories now. That is ok but we also need to make sure our past is not lost. I suppose I need to keep haranguing my family for their stories, I have mentioned a few times that I would like to have our oral history preserved but have never actually done anything about it. Guess it is time.

Making It Public - Part 3

2010-04-16T06:13:00.002-05:00

Today marks the final part for my three pronged blog on taking my faith out into the world. I hope you have enjoyed the previous two. My finally personal verse that I took with me upon leaving school was Philippians 4:13

I can do all things

Through Christ who strengthens me

Is that not a totally empowering concept? I can do ALL things. As I have pointed out in previous blogs I was an arrogant child. The concept that I could do anything was not new to me. I honestly believed that all I had to do was set my mind to it and I could achieve whatever I wanted. In a way I still do believe just that, one of my personal crosses I carry. Did you note how I conveniently forgot part of the verse?

Upon leaving school I rushed forward ready to take on the world. After all I could do anything! Anything that is except succeed, everytime I tried something I failed. I self imploded no one was out to get my I was just unable to stay on course. I became best at was surviving.

Everytime a challenge came my way I did not rejoice and accept God's support, no I worked hard to battle on, on my own. Oh I would usually complete the challenge but each success took a piece of me. My survival became my triumph there was no praise to God. There was no rejoicing no there was a smirk my battle cry became I did this all by myself. Each victory was hollow and each failure consumed me. Oh I could rationalize, I could even make myself a hero in the eyes of the world my trials had been legion, my survival an accomplishment. Of course it was my success not one single Glory to God. Forgetting or refusing to apply the entire verse is an eventual recipe for disaster. The verse is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". It doesn't mean I am going to conquer the world, no it means when God shows His plans, no matter how hard, no matter how difficult it may seem, with God behind us, with the power of the Spirit flowing through us WE CAN DO ANYTHING! Conquer any crises, survive any trial and when we do it, it is not our glory no it is God's. The spotlight is removed from us and transferred to God. The glow that shines forth embraces us all

Over my adult life I have struggled and stumbled many times. I have gone without as often as I have had plenty. My life has been about feast as well as famine I have never quite managed that even keel, that nice balance, that sure and steady. Nope not me I am an all or nothing kind of girl. May I suggest if you have a choice choose a different way of living.

One of the most amazing things about God is He allows us our idiocy. He allows our struggles then when we finally admit we are lost without Him, He raises us up and uses those same struggles to bring Glory to Him. As a Child of God even our failures are God's triumphs.

As I prepared for this series I have written I went back and really read all of my verses. Went straight to the Bible and refrained from going from memory. I took the time to really do my research to make sure I do not take quotes out of context or misrepresent God's word. In doing so I was so amazed when I re-read this verse. I not only read the verse but the ones previous to it. Instead of just Phil 4:13 I think I should embrace verses 10-13

(10) I Rejoiced in the Lord greatly

that now at length you have

revived your concern for me. You

were indeed concerned for me

but you had no opportunity

(11) Not that I am speaking

of being in need for I

have learned in whatever

situation I am in to be content

(12) I know how to be brought low

and I know how to abound in any

and every circumstance

I have learned the secret of

facing plenty and hunger

abundance and need

(13) I can do all things through Him

who strengthens me.

WOW! Praise God for truly I have been blessed.

Looking back this almost 30 years I realized that I would choose these same three Bible verses to carry forth with me.. Oh I would hope I will do so with humility and grace. That I would take advantage of all the words God gives me through His book but I will always treasure these three verses.

For God so loved the world.

They that wait upon the Lord.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

LUCKY LUCKY me, I am loved.

Making It Public - Part 2

2010-04-15T11:37:00.001-05:00

Upon leaving High School in 1980 I was completely prepared to go forth and live my life for Christ. Well as prepared as an 18 year old can be for facing the adult world. I was well armoured and ready to become a soldier of Christ (a phrase from my childhood) more than that I was excited. I had my armour, my shield and my banner and of course those three verses that I had claimed as my very own.

Number 2 was

Is 40:31

They that wait upon the Lord

Shall renew their strength

They shall mount up with wings as eagles

They shall run and not be weary

They shall walk and not feint.

One of the benefits of attending a private protestant high school is the fact that they not only teach you the bible they expect you to incorporate your learning into your everyday life. We used bible verses as part of each of our classes, clubs and teams. Each group would pick a verse that they felt best described them and would use it as part of their meditations, in a way it was another form of a mascot only this time it was the mascot of our faith. Is 40:31 was something of an "it" verse back in the day. It was used frequently it didn't hurt that it had been put to music and was sung often during chapel as well as at church. Our softball team even used it as our team verse so obviously it must be a good one..

Can anyone tell me what a child can possibly know about waiting, this is the age group that invented the phrase "are we there yet". As a teenager waiting means dreading that the phone won't ring and you won't have a date for the weekend or waiting for the results of a particularly difficult test, or waiting to see if you made the play or the team or won the election. Or standing at home plate and waiting for that perfect pitch. Needless to say I had no clue what waiting was and even less on waiting upon God.

When I left school I had such great plans, fantastic hopes and dreams. I had no idea how I was going to make these plans, hopes and dreams happen only that surely they would all fall into place. I knew God had plans for me I even had an idea of what they were. Even now all these years later I believe that. What I didn't understand was that God didn't just have plans for me He had a plan! I knew I was supposed to be a wife and mother. I knew that God had these plans for me, that this was where I would serve God best. Accepting these plans would be defying my family but I understood that I needed to follow God. And yes I said defying. My family expected me to be a doctor, a lawyer, president, a career woman. An interesting mover and shaker. So believe me when I say being "just" a wife and mother was a defiance. I was told "no one has a right to freeload like that" that I was "wasting my brain" and other such things.

Because of the way I was brought up I honestly believed I was "sacrificing" my life for God. But I am an arrogant fool, God gives you your gifts does that not mean He expects us to use them? And when you follow God's plan for you, you do it in His time not yours.

When I was 22 I met a man, a totally unsuitable man, one who had been wicked and wild

divorced not once but twice but he had turned his back on that and was dedicated to family or so he said. He was a good son a dedicated father, charismatic and sexy. He was the flame and I was the moth circling it until I was all but blind to God's plans. I knew I was getting older (ok, stop laughing I was 22 that is old when you are 22) and I needed to get on with God's plan. I was so afraid that no one was going to want me (again not waiting for God and certainly not trusting in Him) no one would love me that I would be alone for the rest of my life missing out on the chance to be wife and mother I rushed into a relationship. Looking back, knowing the two of us as I do now I have to admit I not only rushed into it I forced it. What a disaster!!! I survived a marriage that can easily be described as hell on earth. No joy, no happiness, no life of living according to God's plan. There was misery, despair, disdain, drudgery and contempt. God was not a part of my marriage! I am lucky that God did not abandon me but no instead He continued to protect me even in my arrogance. I stayed in that fiasco of a marriage for 10 long years before finally ending it.

Even then I did not as for God's guidance I knew what had to be done. Yet with every wrong choice, every time I rushed forward knowing what was wrong and ready to fix it all by myself. God blessed and protected me. Why? well not because I am some prize of a follower nope because He loves me and has plans for me. It took me a long long time to let go and really let God. I would pray but then I would start bargaining, then I would ask for forgiveness and say I knew I wasn't supposed to try and bargain with Him, then I would ask for help but I would lay out my plans and let Him know how I needed His help. I did not listen to what He wanted done and I certainly did not wait upon His plans.. Oh arrogant, arrogant child. Can you not just picture God sitting there shaking His head after we finished our little talks? I am so lucky that God did not give up on me.

Now I find myself praying not for what I need as much as for the ability to wait upon God's timing. That I will learn to listen not control. Even as I write this I wonder at my motives. Am I truly trying to share what God has done in my life? Or am I trying to manipulate God's plans again? See one of the negatives to rushing God's plans is that when He speaks you are not quite sure if it is Him. I mean we don't get a lot of burning bushes these days. So you tremble and pray it isn't once again your ego and arrogance taking charge trying to "fix" things.

I submit these words to God asking Him to use them as He sees fit, even if that means He doesn't use them at all. I hope finally I am on the right path and am using one of the gifts He gave me in a manner that becomes Him. and yes, I am praying that I learn to listen and wait.

Making It Public - Part 1

2010-04-14T15:48:00.000-05:00

Recently while I was at church part of the sermon was about Making Your Faith Public. This caught my attention. I started writing about my faith and the three bible verses that have made the hugest impact in my life. Instead of writing one huge blog I decided to break it down into three parts this is part 1.

On June 13, 1980 I graduated from Whittier Christian High School. I was full of faith both in God's love and in my ability to accept God's plan in my life and to live a rich and full life in Christ. I left fully armed with the shield of my faith. I was well educated in my faith and inspired by three Bible verses. They were my banner that proceeded me, that declared my faith to the world.

The first was John 3:16 what I believe to be the very foundation of the Christian belief

For God so loved the world

He gave His only begotten Son

So whosoever believith in Him

Shall not perish

But have eternal life.

Pretty basic, God loved us enough to send His Son. To live as man, a perfect life then in His Prime, well I suppose due to the time He was probably pushing towards the end of the average life span but no matter. Anyway At the age of 33 He was accused, tried and convicted of I guess NOT being the Son of God. He was mocked, vilified and finally crucified left to die a horrid and torturous death. We all know the story it has been told over and over again, in film, on TV, in our homes, at our churches. It has been told so much it has taken on almost mythic proportions. Passed along until it has reached fairytale status. We will see the verse blazoned on poster board at a

What an arrogant child I was and like the sheep The Great Shepard claimed us to be I followed the path of least resistance. Seeing the verse I would shake my head, silently mock the person who dared post it, occasionally I would quote it to myself or to those around me, to show my intelligence and Christian education.

One day I started to think just what that verse means. I am a parent I have four beautiful, wonderful children. God more than blessed me with these fabulous shining stars. They constantly bring joy and light into my life. They make my world a wondrous place to be. I watch them grow and develop see them starting out on the paths of their lives, see the things they may accomplish and the people they may become. I have a fierce love for them, intense and proud as only a parent can be. Now as an adult a parent I look at that verse and think. God loved the world - ME - so much He sent His Son to die for me, to be mocked and tortured and crucified for me. So my sins can be washed away.

Let me put this into perspective, real honest perspective. I have a deep and true love for several people the love of a friend to others and general brotherly love to the world. The love that one of God's children should show to the world. Even then knowing that I care, that I want to spend eternity in heaven with you all. There is NO WAY, NO CONCEIVABLE WAY, that I would allow, let alone send forth one (let alone my ONLY one) of my children to suffer such humiliation. To sacrifice even a hair on their heads (ok that is extreme but you get my point) to die for anyone's sins. To let them go KNOWING in advance what would be done to them. Yet God, in His amazing grace did just that. He sent His perfect Son down to live among us, die for us, to die for me..

Oh arrogant vain me, never again will I presume to understand what real unconditional love is. I can only begin to discover what an amazing gift God gave me. Now when I see that verse, plastered on poster board waving in the end zone at a sporting event or on a leaflet, I will not mock that person. No I will give thanks to God because He loved me so much. I will give thanks to God that someone is out there reminding me how much God loved me. Shoot I may just go make a few poster boards myself. I will do what I can to make Jesus' sacrifice a commonplace fact. One every single person I know is aware of. Then I will rejoice that I was given such an opportunity.

And Life Goes On

2010-03-09T17:31:00.000-06:00

Each day has a special challenge and gift. I firmly believe it is our choice in how we handle both. Do we accept our challenges and use our gifts? I know I don't. In so many ways day to day life wins over and over and over again. I forget to smile, I forget to say Thank You, I forget that my life is pretty darn good.

Last month some ucky things happened and I think for the first time in a long time I accepted them with grace and dignity. I faced a challenge head on instead on meandering around it trying to control things. I have a hard time letting go of control. I never thought of myself as a control freak but 10 years married to an alcoholic and 13 years raising four kids on my own I tend to micro-manage everything. I don't mean to, I just don't have time for the silly stuff (insert any other term here you would like).

How does one show one's inner self? I used to be very open with sharing who I was, I liked me.. I was silly and fun and clever and witty and then I tumbled down into the abyss of alcoholism (not mine but my spous') and spent so many years trying to fix things make them work that sadly my children don't even know the real me. They don't know the person who laughs at life, who values those around her and chooses to enjoy each day. They see a boring drudge who can and will manipulate those around her in order to make life work. I don't necessarily regret doing that because sometimes we had food on the table and a roof over our heads provided by the force of my personality alone. But after a while it takes something from you. In a way you are selling yourself.. prostituting yourself. At first it makes perfect sense but one day you wake up and realize what you have become and how far you have tumbled. You realize that each teeny step has dragged you farther and farther away from who you are and what you were meant to be. Then you look ups and see the incredibly long path you have to take to get back to where you started... and continue down the correct path.

I am not complaining, life is good, really. I have healthy happy children... God has blessed me. They all have an amazing sense of self and are aware that while life is not always easy it is always blessed..

Oh well so much for my ramble of the day

The Time Has Come

2010-02-12T17:23:00.000-06:00

It is that time of year that all parents of college age children abhor.. yes it is the dreaded Fasfa time...

I will be filling out, re reading tax forms, re filling out and questioning the very way I spell my name until I hear from the Federal Government that my child has received funds.. Oh Joy of Joy. Of course I can rejoice it is way easier now than it was 4 years ago when I did it the first time and I hear that was a piece of cake to the original fiasco of forms the gov't designed to assist parents of college bound children.

Now there is an oxymoron if I ever heard one, Government assistance... oh I do crack myself up!!

This Just Drives Me nuts

2010-01-14T19:18:00.000-06:00

I am a little late this year on one of my rants but the other one is an ongoing drive me insane rant...

First off the old one.... The parade held on New Years Day in Pasadena is the Tournament of Roses Parade.. also commonly referred to as the Rose Parade. It is not and never will be the Rose Bowl Parade. Yes I know news casters, sports analysts and even Jay Leno seem to think other wise but people they are WRONG!! The parade came first, was in existance for several years then the sponsors of the parade decided that it would be nice to have an annual football game to go along with the parade. They built the Rose Bowl, the Tournament of Roses committee or organization or whatever you want to call it still owns the Rose Bowl facilty.. Anyway they built it, some members even went so far as to mortgage their houses to help finance it. To call the parade the Rose Bowl Parade is an insult... if anything the game should be called the Rose Parade Bowl... Like that is going to happen a bunch of men acknowledging the power of flowers? And another thing when I turn on the parade I want to watch the parade... This year NBC was horrible.. I saw an awful lot of Al Roker and the chickee babe who hosted the parade with him but hardly any of the parade.. I changed to channel 7. Honestly I miss living in California the most on New Year's day when you can't even see a good showing of the ROSE PARADE!!

And another thing... why is it that the news insists that we are sending 40,000 TROOPS to various spots.. we are sending 40,000 soldiers.. a troop is a group of people, I am assuming that the term Troops would then mean multiple troops. It sincerely irritates me to have to listen over and over again to the "troops" being sent hither and yon, knowing that the yahoo saying it is referring to individual soldiers not the extensive group they are going with. Please someone get a clue!!

OK, all done now